Sunday, July 5, 2009

MISS INDEPENDANCE! 380ish (highest was 425)


Beginning Raw Vegan Weight: 425

Beginning Blog Weight: 277

Weight Week Four: 250 lbs

Weight Week Five: 250 lbs

Week's Loss: 0 lbs

Total Blog Loss: 27 lbs in 5 weeks!


  • Eliminate Binge eating at work (or home) by 'legalizing' gourmet raw food and allowing myself heavy meals, should i desire them.

  • Officially weighing in 1x/week, but check in for myself

  • All heavy meals (salty, fatty or extra sweet, raw vegan) are to be eaten seated, enjoyed and savored. No guilt, no shame, no hiding, no secret eating, no snacking, no bingeing.

  • In eating seated respectful 'meals' I will ultimately eat 'less' gourmet, because i won't be binge eating gourmet when i eat gourmet.

  • Maintain the same weight for the next several weeks

  • Maintain a schedule of walking

  • Return to my 80-10-10 based diet of mostly fruit, greens, low fat, low salt to equalize

  • Focus on weight loss again when I have had no binges for 6 weeks or so

  • As the binge eating at work regulates, aim to make lighter and lighter overall choices there

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Okay, I unofficially weighed in at 253 1/4 this morning so i was thrilled! Yay! I had gotten really scared yesterday afternoon when i weighed in at 258.

Isn't it amazing what salt and dehydrated foods (and binge eating) will do to the weight? 258 from 250.

And isn't it amazing what a day of 80-10-10 will do to the weight? 258 to 253 in one day. That's a lot of releasing of water retention.

With this information, we can learn how to live, learn how to maintain. Desire to lose weight? Pull back into 80-10-10. Feeling the need for some treats? Indulge guiltlessly. Weight goes up? Cool it on the salt, the fat for a few days and go back to 80-10-10 to lose and regain balance. Etc... Etc... Etc...

I really think and believe and see that this is how Angela Stokes lives. She constantly ADJUSTS.

I'm kind of excited for my next day of legalizing at work on Tuesday to see what kind of effect that will have on my weight. I know it will not be as extreme as i will eat LESS in just eating meals than i have when i've binged. That is soooo awesome.

There is one little problem. Next week i work 4 days a week in a row. Yikes.

That is going to need to be planned out very carefully.

Calling "Dr. Michelle Joy", Weight Scientist at Large
If 9 gourmet meals over 2 days (what i ingested last Thursday and Friday total) produced a 8 lb gain, which went down to a 3.5 lb gain in one day of 80-10-10ing....

Then i would say, i don't really want to go OVER that limit during my next 4 day work week.

4 days of work with 2 gourmet meals each day would be 8 meals.

That's quite a sensible limit. When the majority of people come to Arnolds Way, this is what they eat, salty, fattier fare. Why should i be the exception?

So, in eating over 4 days what i ate in 2, I should expect the same results.

So, if I wake up next Saturday after 4 days of eating 8 gourmet meals total, i should weigh in the vacinity of 257ish. (i was 258 in the afternoon).

If i do a day on 80-10-10 on Saturday, by Sunday, i should weigh 253ish again.

i think that will be a happy day.

If on Sunday, like today, i do a fully 80-10-10 day, i should expect to lose a lb by tomorrow and another lb by Tuesday morning, putting me back in my 250 range.

If i am going to keep up this legalizing at work, i may need to switch my weigh in days to Tuesdays.

I'm excited to 80-10-10 again today. I have a photo shoot for a headshot on Monday afternoon and i'd like to look as trim and unbloated as possible, so i plan to 80-10-10 today and tomorrow.

Monday morning, i have a raw cooking job in someone's home, so i'm a little concerned about that. But, I will do my best to gather up my recipes so that i don't have to resort to tasting too much. When i do taste, it will be a fingertip tiny taste.

I had to chuckle when i received violet's ( comment as i'm trying to legalize gourmet food so i stop binge eating, "eat more fruit babe xoxox". So sweet.

I eat a LOT of fruit and really enjoy it, i just also happen to have an eating disorder and am trying to stop binge eating. I know that means dissappointing the 80-10-10ers by eating meals of gourmet. But, i actually SAW that it worked to calm bingeing. And this is the route i am committed to taking right now.

Be satisfied that I am ultimately eating LESS FAT than i would in a binge. And i don't think ANYONE on ANY kind of a program to IMPROVE HEALTH could say that binge eating is GOOD or DESIRABLE. I know some 80-10-10 people reading this may be troubled or dissappointed at the concept of 'legalizing.' They may even see a binge and think, 'you see...THAT's why you shouldn't eat gourmet!'

That's the way i always thought.

Do all 80-10-10ers binge if they eat a little gourmet? I'd be curious to know!

This one does. And my goal with this blog FROM THE START was to MAKE PEACE with gourmet raw.

It's a little hard for me to eat nuspread and bread in front of Arnold because he's such a huge 80-10-10 supporter, and has been so proud of what i've been doing. He and everyone at Arnolds Way have watched me lose weight suddenly when i hadn't for a very very long time. That's so exciting.

But, isn't staying the SAME exciting, too???? To me it is! God, i can't BELIEVE i'm in the LOW 250's!!!!! And by next weigh in, i'll weigh if not 250 then very close to it. And i'll keep doing this for the next 6 weeks or so until i get it right and figure it out and stop binge eating FOR GOOD.

But, I'll talk to Arnold and tell him what i'm doing and i think that will calm things even more for me. I won't feel i have to hide from him and that i'm doing something bad or wrong. Arnold eats some cooked food, like rice and beans. And Arnold eats a fair amount of raw gourmet food himself at work, so i have nothing to be ashamed of.


Mostly everyone at Arnolds eats the gourmet treats there, except for some very strong 80-10-10 people.

But, they're probably not binge eaters. So, they may not understand, anyway.

Yesterday i made a blanket statement that 80-10-10 was the perfect diet. I questioned that afterwards.

I do know my hair is falling out MUCH LESS now than it was when my fat percentage was the lowest. It's better to me that my fat is a little (on some days alot) higher because i won't go as bald as fast.

I think it may not be as exciting a journey to hear about my struggles gaining or bingeing or attempting to stop bingeing than it was to check in daily and see a huge weight loss, but, i honestly feel like this is what i need to do right now.

What good was all of that quick weight loss, if the moment i ate the littlest thing 'off', a 1/2 of a raw burger for God's sake...set off an uncontrollable binge? What good is all of it then???

If i sit down and eat a raw burger MEAL, enjoy it, savor it, at least this way, i'm more HONEST, i'm more ME. I'm enjoying what i'm enjoying, what i'm wanting, i'm OUT in the open.

I'm OUT, baby! And it feels GOOD. It feels freeing. Yesterday was not Independance Day for nothing! I am severing my ties to binge eating forever. And if this is the way i have to do it? So be it.

I know that meals eaten with respect and thankfulness, not sneak eaten, won't escalate into 6 gourmet meals within 3 hours. It will be one gourmet meal, until the next.

This makes SO MUCH SENSE to me now! Am i nuts or do you think i'm on the right track????

What kind of a diet do you have? Does it work for you? Do you binge? What do you find helps? I'd love to hear and so would everyone else!

Happy Sunday!
xoxox michelle joy


Jess said...

Hey again,

When I was losing weight, I was not raw by any means, but my diet consisted of very little fat and salt. After a while, weight loss stalled, and I also experienced hair loss, dizzyness, etc. I slowly started incorporating more fat into my diet (about 25-30% each day) and not only did the hair loss stop, weight loss kicked in again, and my cravings to binge virtually stopped. It's very scary at first, and you definitally are going the right way by enjoying your gourmet meals seated and eating them slowly. Don't give up on including more fat, it gets much easier, and you will feel so much better. In a year I lost 130 pounds and have kept it off while eating up to 35% of my diet in fat a day. I may be stopping by arnolds way this week, I'll make sure to introduce myself.


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