Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Hiya, Folks,

It'll be 9 weeks on Friday that I have been working Kathryn Hansen's book, "BRAIN OVER BINGE."  My results have been incredible and groundbreaking.  I have STOPPED binge eating!

Stop Binge Eating: Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen

It is such an amazing feeling to know that FINALLY my binge eating days are over, but also one of sheer astonishment as to the simplicity of the solution.  It is natural and pure common sense.

One one level, recovery is complicated, which has made writing posts challenging. (I've written about 6 posts I never posted.)  They just became so complicated.

On another level, recovery is so simple, it's effortless most of the time.

I started working the BRAIN OVER BINGE program on September 27th, and similar to Kathryn's experience, I experienced two slips back into old behavior after the 2nd week, but these were an integral part of my recovery.  These slips were totally different now, and I actually saw binge eating for what it was, a habit I perpetuated by continuing to act on binge urges.  I saw myself think the urge, I saw myself act on it, habitually, giving creed to the irrational urge.  I wasn't even enjoying the food.  I enjoyed the food MORE at dinner time, when I was hungry.  Binge eating now seemed pointless, yet I gave in habitually, all the while seeing that the behavior now made no sense.  Binge eating was a creation of my mind, a reaction that stemmed from dieting, a behavior I chose to do, which became a destructive habit maintained by irrational and faulty beliefs.

I have been binge free since.

I eat today when I'm hungry and stop when i'm full and I ignore urges to binge.  And that's it.

The binge urges have for the most part, dissappeared.

The simple method Hansen teaches to end binge eating IS the answer.

I implore you to investigate the book or the website www.brainoverbinge.com if you suffer from binge eating.

_ _ _

I have met wonderful women on the "B.O.B." website Forum.

One of them, Mary Ann, created a Forum herself, which is found on her website.  Here we communicate with each other, and other binge sufferers can discover how to recover using B.O.B principals, and principals from other books that have been meaningful to Mary Ann.

_ _ _

I just spent 10 days at The Better Living Lifestyle Center (www.DrArcilla.com), working as Raw and Vegan Chef.

It was wonderful creating new and exciting recipes daily, and living a high raw vegan program again!

I look forward to sharing some new recipes with you in the future.

_ _ _

All in all, I feel like, finally, everything is coming together for me.  Binge eating is gone and I'm losing weight very slowly and naturally, eating health-giving food.  I finally have high hopes for a binge-free future!

xoxo michelle joy

Friday, October 4, 2013


Hello there!

So here's the scoop.

OHI San DiegoLast I wrote, I was planning on going back to OHI (www.optimumhealth.org) in December for another 6-8 months to lose weight and stop binge eating again, by getting back on a 100% raw vegan diet, in the intensely structured environment of this most wonderful raw retreat.

My father had offered to send me.  Thank you, Dad!

I filled out the online application, sent the required essay (which unbeknownst to me needed to be under a certain number of words and had to be rewritten, ahem, SEVERAL times), sent the required photo, recommendation letters, etc..., only to hear nothing back from OHI after a week.  I called and left a message.

After another week, I called again.  And again.

On my third try, finally, someone answered in the missionary office.  "Who is calling?," Darlene, the head of missionaries asked, perplexed, not recognizing my name.  "I don't have your application.  Are you sure you sent it?"

"Uh.......it took me almost an entire DAY to get that application together.  Of course I am sure I sent it." I gave some attitude.

Well.  They never got it.

Must have been a computer glitch.

By then, with the application snafu, I was already feeling like God was just not WANTING this 2nd long term trip to OHI to happen, when my father began complaining, in ernest, about pretty hefty money problems ($6,000 dental bill and a $3,000 repair bill from the car which would no longer drive in reverse).

"Honey, I think you'll have to find something LOCAL," he admitted.

Sensing how the tide was turning, I knew it was time for me to seek out more answers, on my own.

I mourned the loss of the dream of running away to OHI for a while, and then one day, soon afterwards, searching for a cure for my incessantly continual binge eating, I found this video on youtube on HOW TO STOP BINGE EATING.


The video is of a young teenager who was bulimic, and who is no longer bulimic, after following a book called "Brain Over Binge."  True, she was only in the beginning honeymoon stage of recovery, but I had to admit, it sounded interesting.  

Really curious, I ordered the book that had made such an impact on her, "Brain Over Binge," by Kathryn Hansen, from Amazon.  (My local Barnes and Noble did not have it, nor could they order it, as it was a limited printing, I was told.)  I bought the book easily on amazon.com, here:


The book arrived about a week later.

The book....is beyond brilliant.

Way beyond.

I know...........this blog is NO stranger to the excited, "I found the cure!" posts.


And this is where you will find it.  In this book:

And it is so simple, you will kick yourself.

Now, granted it is only DAY 8 of NO BINGE EATING AND NO DIETING following the book..., but I KNOW with such confidence now that as long as I continue to follow the simple steps (by the way, ridiculously simple) to end binge eating outlined in Hansen's book, (as I HAVE been over these last 8 days), 
I will NEVER binge again.

You heard me right.  I will never binge again.

I know for a certainty, that if this is what I want to happen, never to binge, ever again, (and I do, never want to binge again), then I KNOW I will never binge again.

How many of you could say that....with certainty?

Now, if I WANT to binge again, I will.  

But if I don't want to, how do I know this with such certainty?

I'll be explaining in the coming days.  You just gotta hold on, there is so much to tell!

What is also interesting to note, is that over these last 8 days, I have positively increased in my desire to get back to eating more raw food, rather than the opposite, which you might think would happen, giving up dieting.

Funny.  Now that I can finally HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT (to eat), instead of wanting it all, I am left asking, "Yes, but now, what do you really CHOOSE?"
I think this time away from binge eating has served to heighten my awareness of just how BAD I feel.  And I just felt so good on raw, and want to feel good again, despite the fact that raw food eating does NOT STOP binge eating, as I proved during my frequent raw food binges over the 3.5 years I was raw.

Now, I am coming to it from a place of CHOICE rather than NEED.

And I don't think I will do 100% raw.  And I really have no fear about it.  Because I now know that stopping binge eating has NOTHING to do with food choices.

It has everything to do with the brain.

Much much more coming on that.

In conclusion, I just want to THANK GOD for leading me to this miraculous book.

(If it is right for me, God will clear a path back to OHI.  But I have an inkling that God knows that I can do this now, by myself.  How empowering.) (And now that binge eating is out of the way, I can really do whatever I want to with my diet.  So freeing!)

I am SO grateful to Kathryn Hansen for her amazing insight, for documenting her experience, and for sharing what she learned so effectively, so that other suffering binge eaters, could learn they TOO could STOP binge eating!

I look forward to sharing with you more about my experience, and more about this simple technique described in this incredibly well-written, intensely logical, amazingly practical, and most persuasive book, "Brain Over Binge."

If you are a binge eater, and you want to stop, I urge you to get the book.  You will NOT regret it.

In the meantime, you can look over Kathryn's website, www.brainoverbinge.com


P.S. I know there are some of you that just enjoy raw recipes and inspiration, as you have no particular problems with binge eating.  In light of this, I've decided to shut off the automatic sending of my blog posts, after this post.  So, if you are interested in reading about this new journey with ending binge eating, please go directly to my blog to read my new posts.

I thank you for your support, look forward to better days again, and as always, ask God to bless you!
xoxo michelle joy

Sunday, September 8, 2013


Good News People!

I just filled out an application for the Missionay program at Optimum Health Institute, www.OptimumHealth.org!!!

Optimum Health Institute San Diego

This is the raw retreat that I went to before starting this blog, where I lost 145 lbs., and started my 3.5 year raw life.  Please pray for my acceptance back into the program!  It helped me tremendously 6 years ago, and I am praying to be blessed to be accepted back for a six month or longer stay. Pray, pray, pray!

In other news, I just wanted to give you an amazing recipe I just created.  This is a cooked vegan Meatloaf recipe that I just came up with using what I had at home, and it is so good, I can't quite believe it, and I had to share it with you.  It's not raw, but I do believe this recipe could be converted to raw vegan with some thought and work.  So, I've done the thought and work for you, and I've added those ideas below!!!

While I'm still around, I might as well ENJOY before I'm floating in a sea of wheatgrass and Rejuvelac!!!

OMG, it was the meatiest fake meatloaf I have EVER had in my LIFE!!!   So so good!
Vegetarian Mushroom-Walnut Meatloaf Recipe
someone else's pic from online, but mine kinda looked like this!!!

In large workbowl, add: 1/2 lb (uncooked dry measure) regular brown lentil beans, cooked in water
1 cup old fashioned oats
1/2 cup jarred vegan tomato sauce
1/3 cup veggie parmesan
1/2 cup olive oil
1 Tbsp Himalayan salt

In Cuisinart with S blade, process finely together: 
2 cups raw brazil nuts
1 cup old fashioned oats
1.5 cups baby bella mushrooms
1 large carrot or 3 skinny old ones like I had
1 cup of raw leeks
1 small onion
3 cloves fresh garlic
1/3 cup fresh basil leaves
1 tsp fresh rosemary
1 tsp fresh thyme
1 tsp fresh oregano

Add processed brazil nut mixture to lentil mixture in large work bowl, and with hands, mix thoroughly until well combined.  This mixture will be very moist and will not hold together, but it will after it is cooked and well rested.  

Preheat oven to 400.

Plop the mixture into the bottom of a greased large rectangular pyrex.  Mold the mix into a meatloaf shape.  Bake on 400 for 1 hour.

Then, to create a ketchup-like topping, mix the following in a small bowl and spread ontop of the meatloaf while still in the oven.

1 cup vegan tomato sauce
1/4 cup agave
juice of 1 lemon

Bake for another 15 mins.  Turn off the oven and allow the meatloaf to stay in the oven for another 30 mins with the heat off.

If served now, it will be soft and delicious and hot.

But it is even better after it sits out 4 or 5 hours because it will really firm up amazingly and become almost EXACT meatloaf consistency.  OMG, SO GOOD!!


RAW VEGAN VEGGIE MEATLOAF SUGGESTIONS: To create this meatloaf RAW VEGAN, you can sprout 1/2 lbs of lentil beans and process them in the food processor with S blade.  If you don't mind using steel cut oats, you could soak them overnight and process them as well.  I think one cup total would suffice.  If you don't want to use the oats, I think you could use 1/2 cup flax powder total and get pretty good consistency.  Instead of parmesan cheese, you could use 1/3 cup Nutritional Yeast flakes mixed with 2 Tbsp flax powder (to give cheesy flavor and elastic quality).  Instead of jarred tomato sauce, you can use 10 sun dried tomatoes, soaked and processed along with all of the other vegetables.  Try 1/2 Tbsp salt first and add more if you need it.  I would mix the whole thing up and place on teflex in the dehydrator overnight on 105.  For the topping, you could use 10 sundried tomatoes, rehydrated, blenderized with a little soak water, agave, lemon, and some salt.  You could slather that on the meatloaf in the morning and let it dry another half or whole day.

In fact, that sounds YUMMY and I am excited to try this raw version!!  If you try either version, please let me know!!!!  

xoxo michelle joy

Friday, August 23, 2013



Article By Christopher Wanjek
Published August 21, 2013
Live Science

What's the best diet for maintaining a healthy weight and warding off chronic diseases? Is it a low-carb diet, a high-carb diet, an all-vegetable diet, a no-vegetable diet?

Researchers say you'd be better off just forgetting the word diet, according to an editorial published August 20 in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA).

Two researchers Sherry Pagoto of the University of Massachusetts Medical School in Worcester, Mass., and Bradley Appelhans of the Rush University Medical Center in Chicago call for an end to the so-called diet wars, because they are all equally as good, or bad, in helping people fight obesity.

In the end, patients only get confused thinking that one diet is superior to another, they said, when in fact changes in lifestyle, not diet types, are the true ways to prevent weight gain and the associated ills of diabetes and circulatory disease.

"The amount of resources that have gone into studying 'what' to eat is incredible, and years of research indicate that it doesn't really matter, as long as overall calories are reduced," Appelhans told LiveScience. "What does matter is 'how' to eat, as well as other things in lifestyle interventions, such as physical activity and 
supportive behaviors that help people stay on track [in the] long term."

The researchers cite numerous studies that demonstrated only moderate success with various types of diet that focus on macronutrients: protein, fat or carbohydrates; but regardless of diet, without a lifestyle change, the weight comes back.

Conversely, several large and recent studies such as the Finnish Diabetes Prevention Study and the China Da Qing Diabetes Prevention Study found lower weight and lower incidence of diabetes among study participants many years after the study's initial completion because the subjects were taught how to lose weight through lifestyle interventions.

Lifestyle trumps diet
Pagoto described lifestyle interventions as three-prong: dietary counseling (how to control portions, reduce high-calorie foods and navigate restaurants), exercise counseling (how to set goals, target heart rate and exercise safely), and behavioral modification (how to self-monitor, problem solve, stay motivated and understand hunger).

"The 'diet' used within a lifestyle intervention can be low-fat, low-carb, etc. It doesn't matter," Pagoto said. "In fact, at least one study compared a low-fat lifestyle intervention with a low-carb lifestyle intervention, and it made no difference. The diet itself [is not] instrumental to the lifestyle interventions success; it is the behavioral piece that is key."

Pagoto agreed that a vegetarian diet is associated with a lower risk of weight gain and heart disease. A massive study involving more than 70,000 Seventh-Day Adventists, published in JAMA in June, found that dedicated vegetarians and pesco-vegetarians (who eat fish) live longer than meat eaters. But that doesn't mean a vegetarian diet is all it takes to help you stay healthy.

"Adherence is key, and the way to destroy adherence is forcing foods on someone they do not like, do not know how to prepare, or can't afford," Pagoto said.

Why diets go wrong
Indeed, the authors wrote that the only consistent fact in all the diet studies is that adherence is the element most strongly associated with weight loss and disease risk reduction.

Pagoto described five challenges to any diet that she sees with her patients:
  1. having no time to cook or exercise
  2. being too stressed out
  3. having family members bring junk food home
  4. not having anyone to exercise with or feeling awkward exercising
  5. and feel hungry all the time 
The ratio of fat to carb to protein doesn't come into play.
Most her of obese patients understand which foods are healthful and unhealthful, she said. So she works with her patients to find ways to make healthy behaviors more routine, regardless of the patient's type of diet.

Pagoto and Appelhans call for more research on diet adherence. The authors described the amount of adherence research as miniscule compared to that on studying the large fad diets.

Similarly, the general population knows more about nuances of these diets (Atkins, South Beach, the Zone), and such, than they do about the basics of adherence; and that, the authors said, is central to the obesity epidemic.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/08/21/losing-weight-lifestyle-changes-trump-any-diet/?intcmp=trending#ixzz2clJNIy8V


HI Folks, I thought this was a VERY interesting article.  The main point is - persistence wins - no matter what kind of plan we follow - 50% raw or 100% raw.  Intellectual constipation and paralysis about 'what' diet is best become irrelevent if we can't stick with it.  We need to just adhere to a healthy plan and change our behaviors for good.

xoxox michelle joy  

Thursday, August 22, 2013



BR: steel cut oatmeal, 1 nectarine, 1 peach, blueberries 
SN: 1 vegan yogurt, 130 cals 
SN: some tastes of raw mock toona 
LN: guacamole and raw corn crackers 
DN: 2 homemade veggie burgers, lettuce, tomato, raw brazil nut pate', raw ranch dressing

Binge free for 11th day, yay, but today was not without significant challenges.

I was bored today and boredom is one of the biggest challenges to overcome and to not eat when one is a binge eater.  I saw it and said, "I am so bored, all I want to do is compulsively eat!"  I don't know how I managed to walk away from it relatively unscathed.

Cliff wanted to take me to work today.  So picking me up avoided any possibility of an after-work binge, that I might have succumbed to had I driven myself.  God must be cradling me in his arms to have arranged that.    

The truth was the boredom was mixed with a seriously healthy does of fear.  I am injured and experiencing significant physical distress.  The feeling I was holding water in my legs?....was not water. It is a tendonitis of sorts, exactly what I went through at Dr. Arcillas.  I have apparently overtaxed ligaments or tendons in my knees again.

Anatomical illustration of knee

But how? Starting a walking program again?  Stopping my heavy duty workouts with my trainer because I ran out of money and had to get my car fixed?  Being on my feet too long at work?  Showing a friend that funny walk Dr. Arcilla taught me that seemed to hurt my knees before?

I think all of the above have played a role in my present incapacitated predicament.

My first thougtht was to feel terribly sorry for myself and blame the Enemy, in Judeo Christian terms, Satan, and to ask why he is attacking me, (literally) "cutting me off at the knees," when I am finally doing better?

Struggling to get around, I had to ask God for help several times today to get through the day without leaning on food.

My second thought was that I am experiencing a detox, and that whatever toxins I'm releasing, are pooling in my knees (?). Is that irrational?  I may be only 50% raw, maybe less, on some days.  Dr. Arcilla seemed to think the tendonitis before was caused exclusively by detox and had nothing to do with injury or weakness or the funny walk he taught me.    

All I know is, I can barely walk and my legs want to buckle.  My knees feel like the tightest rubber bands, I am limping, and in pain.

Furthermore, I have been experiencing alot of all over body stiffness lately, come to think of it, and maybe that is from acids detoxing?  Could my diet be MORE ACIDIC NOW than it was BEFORE?  Too much fruit and grains?  

I don't know what's going on.

Tonight I am going to take Dr. Morse's HEAL ALL TEA, that my wonderful friend, Joy, sent to me.  I will mix that with the Chinese pooping tea Dr. Arcilla prescribed.  Maybe all of that will help clear whatever is inflaming me.

Unfortunately, I have to be on feet all day again tomorrow...

xoxo michelle joy        

Wednesday, August 21, 2013


Howdy on this beautiful day!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

BR: Green Smoothie: banana, spirulina, 2 pear, peach, pineapple, one date; steel cut oatmeal with fresh blueberry and ground up apple 
LN: Lunch Out - big salad with chick peas, roasted artichoke, roasted red pepper, fresh cukes, tomato, carrot, red onion w/ a little balsamic, 1 Tbsp olive oil, 1 tsp. russian dressing 
SN: fresh juice - 1.5 apples, pineapple, 1/2 lime, 1/2 lemon 
DN: cooked whole foods vegan dinner - 2 homemade veggie burgers, a little leftover mushroom mix with quinoa
Walk: good 40 mins walk at the zoo and at the mall.

I had a good but very trying day, emotionally.  Today was day 9, no binges, (YAY!!) but I felt ALOT of uncomfortable emotions and fears surface, namely discouragement and fear I wasn't losing weight fast enough, through much of the day.  I am absolutely positive this diet is GREAT for my binge eating (not compulsive).  But I was left feeling very worried about how it would affect my WEIGHT.  I did get weighed and there is a good loss, but I've lost ALOT more on more RADICAL diets.

Knowing my eating is under control (THANK YOU GOD) and that this eating plan is moderate and thus SUSTAINABLE helped pull through the discouragement about slow loss.  Better to lose slow and keep it off, really changing my habits, than to lose super fast and gain it all back in a week.

Cliff and I decided it is best to weigh myself no more than 1x/month.

Food wise, it was another good day.

I tried to eat less meals, but was unsuccessful.

We took a walk at a mall.

After our big breakfast, we were hungry around 3pm.

We went to this great pizza shop near the zoo we know that serves awesome salads.  I got a huge salad with such good fixings.  That was the best salad I've had in a long time.  Can we say ROASTED ARTICHOKE? OMG, wanna give up SOY?  Just roast up some canned or jarred asparagus.  I swear, those artichoke hearts had the meatiness of wheat meat or soy meat, without being BAD. They were so the bomb, I just got back from the market with two jars of what-do-you-think?  Artichoke hearts.

No processed fake-meats anymore.  Yay.

We went for a good walk at the zoo.  p.s. I pet and fed the giraffe....and pet Ollie, the goat :-) Luscious!!!!!!!!!

When we got home from the zoo, we were so parched from the heat, I made a quick cold fresh juice using a method I learned in Victoria Boutenko's raw cooking video the other night.  You just throw everything with water into the Vitamix, add a little ice, blend, pour through a nutmilk bag, and oila', fresh juice faster than any juicer I've ever used.  Fabulous!!

The veggie burgers I made for dinner are awesome but came out bland because i'm being very judicious with the salt, though it pains me.  But they ARE good. I did them 4 at a time in a teflon pan.  I made a lot, like 12. I was on my feet all night (and worked all day).  I was pooped.

Curiously, my feet did NOT hurt at work today.  (Interesting because i was on them the previous day all day AND night).

Next time i eat fish or dairy, i will let you know if they hurt.

+ + + + + + + + + + + 



For vegan homemade veggie burgers, i follow a format - veggie / nut / grain / bean.  I learned this from my friend Talia.  She had the saddest look on her face when i told her I loved boxed veggie burgers. Now Talia smiles when I tell her what I've made.   
Using this format, you can make literally thousands of veggie burger flavors!

Last night I made:
veggie: redbeets, onion, thyme, mushroom, carrot, celery, garlic (food processed, raw)
nut: cashew (food processed, raw)
grain: quinoa/barley/oatmeal (left whole, cooked)
bean: red kidney beans (left whole, cooked)  
I mishmoshed it all together and formed patties.  It is actually SO much easier to bake them, which I will do next time.   duh!

+ + + + + + + + + + ++ + + + + + + + + + + + + ++ + + 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Br: no breakfast: iced green tea, unsweetened 
Sn: smoothie: banana, almond milk, vanilla
Sn: starving: 4 oz. raw mock chick'n salad 
Ln: very big garden salad with 8 oz. raw mock chick'n salad and raw ranch dressing
Dn: cooked vegan whole foods dinner: 1 homemade veggie burger, 2 slices sprouted grain Ezekiel bread, sliced tomato 
Sn: late night hunger - 1 veggie burger, 3 peaches 

I woke up this morning not feeling hungry!  I guess dinner was heavier than I thought!

Boy, when it finally hit me, it hit!  The banana smoothie (only about 1 banana in it) did little to fill my belly. The raw mock chick'n salad I'd made quieted it for the moment and was MMM...so good!!

It was so good, in fact, I had a lot more for lunch. MMMMM!!!

I thought I could perhaps get away without any dinner tonight, but around 5pm, I felt famished.

And I didn't plan on having bread, but the sprouted Ezekiel was staring me in the face after Cliff's dinner.

And then 9pm, I was starving again!  Oh my.....

No walk tonight.... :-((

+ + + + + + + + + + + + 

I don't have real amounts, but here's how you can make a phenomenal raw mock chick'n.  Guestimated amounts!

  • about 4 cups almond pulp
  • scallions, maybe 1/3 cup sliced
  • herbs chopped: fresh rosemary, thyme, dillweed, and some dried poultry seasoning
  • chopped celery, maybe 2 cups, fine
  • lemon, a few Tbsps
  • salt, maybe 1/2 Tbsp
  • garlic, one clove crushed
  • cashew cream, about 1 cup

My legs felt heavy and my knees really bothered me today....feels like I'm holding water again. So frustrating. Despite my best efforts, there is salt everywhere and my poor tounge calls for it.  The salad out-to-eat must have had alot of hidden sodium in it.

And the mock chick'n salad has salt.  But I couldn't resist, I was so hungry.

Good news....day 10 binge free!

My co-worker at Raw Can Roll said I am indeed looking better.  That makes it all worth it.

xoxo michelle joy

Monday, August 19, 2013



Today was my 8th day of in-control whole foods eating with no binges!


Dinner: Dad's Birthday Dinner - very small salad with russian dressing on side, "Seasonal Vegetable Platter," a cooked veggie platter containing broccoli, mushrooms, carrots, string beans, asparagus, and potato; a few bites of fish, less than 1/2 cup of birthday ice cream cake dessert.

Notes:Dad's Birthday Dinner - I thought hard about what I would do last night when we took my parents out to dinner to celebrate my dad's 79th birthday.  I asked God to help me make sane choices.  I was so pleased with how I did at dinner.  I felt totally in control.  I ate no bread because I didn't want any.  I enjoyed salad and the Vegetable Platter very much.  I had a little bit of fish, probably about 1/3 cup, because I was still hungry after my veggies, and both Cliff and my mom, who both ordered fish, were having a hard time finishing theirs.  I had very little dessert.  Just enough.  It was a perfect treat night.  A little bit of something but nothing veered out of control.  Thank God.  I had no binge impulses after coming home and enjoyed my meal and the company and celebration!

Consequences - My feet hurt at work badly.  I wondered if it was from the salmon or the dairy in the icecream cake?  My feet didn't seem to hurt last week eating no fish/dairy.  Something to keep track of, which will inform my choices in future.  My feet hurt soooo bad!!  So now we get to the crux of it all - what is worth it when I truly realize/come to terms with the consequences.  The only way to do that is to journal how I feel after I eat!  So, hello there!!!  I also had a hard time singing in the morning with some reflux, but was okay soon enough.  We listened to the LOVE STATION on Serius Radio and I enjoyed singing along to love songs ALL DAY!!!!


Today I worked at Raw Can Roll Cafe.  

BR: steel cut oats in car before work (less than 1/2 cup cooked), 1 peach, 3/4 cup blueberries
SN: protein smoothie: almond milk, banana, peanut butter, cacao
L: raw lunch salad: large salad with scoop of dry mock chick'n, and my salt free cilantro cashew dressing
D: cooked vegan whole foods dinner: 3/4 cup mixed quioa and barley, cooked cauliflower, cooked mushrooms, rinsed canned red beans, cashew cream.   

Walk: 2 miles up hills to Pretzel Park, down to Main Street, up Baker Street, whew!  Good walk.  

Steel Cut Oats Breakfast - I make a big pot of them the night before.  I served myself a serving in a tupperware and slice fruit over it and ate just before work.  The peaches were so SO sweet, I didn't miss the agave...or honey!!!!!

Protein Smoothie: Felt very hungry about 12:00.  My breakfast at 8am was not that oatmealy, more fruity.  I decided for the Peanut Butter Cup Smoothie at Raw Can Roll Cafe. Definitely not as yummy without the agave, but still good.  Tasted more like Peanut Butter Mylk.

Raw Lunch Salad: I didn't eat my big veggie salad until about 3pm.  My salad was so huge but did little to cut my appetite - the only thing with calories was the thin cashew cream and about 1/3 cup of almond pulp. When I got home at 4pm, I started cooking dinner right away.

Cooked Vegan Whole Foods Dinner: I was dreaming up this amazingly delicious conconction in the car after I ate my salad and was FULL of low cal veggie roughage but STILL HUNGRY!

I had a small serving and it was enough!  I stopped as soon as I was no longer hungry.

I wonder why I am so in control lately??????  With no bread, no sugar, no cooked oils, I feel remarkably steady and not the least bit compulsive!  Or is it God/Spirituality that is making it happen (prayer, etc...)?  Or is it the combination of BOTH???  It occurs to me this kind of a food plan is similar to OA HOW GREY SHEET - no white flour, no sugar, nothing processed.


Here is the cooked vegan recipe that I created for dinner.  It was so VERY VERY delicious I wanted to share it with you!!!  

Un-Creamed Mushrooms and Beans with Cauliflower over Quinoa and Barley   
First I processed 1.5lb of cremini mushrooms in the food processor with the slicing blade, and put them on the stove with 1/2 cup of water and very little celtic salt to cook.  They rendered their juice and then the juice completely cooked away.  I added fresh thyme from my garden and a can of well rinsed red beans.   
I made raw cashew cream in the vitamix with about 3/4 cup cashew, same amount water, 4 cloves garlic, 1 date, 1/3 cup scallion, juice of 1 lemon, and a little celtic salt.  I added the cashew cream to the cooked mushroom mix, stirring in, with the heat off.  (OMG, it tasted just like the best very thick un-cream of mushroom soup.) 
I served myself a nice spoonful of the creamed mushroom mix over a bed of cooked cauliflower/quinoa/barley that I'd made all in one pot with water, no salt.  
This meal contained NO OIL and needed nothing it was so good.  
For garnish, I snipped fresh chives, scallions and parsley on top.  Pretty looking dish, and seriously delish. But delicately flavored!  Not 'kapowey' like I usually make, because I used ALOT less salt than I normally would.      

great day!

Michelle Joy

Sunday, August 18, 2013


Hi there!

I've been having a WONDERFUL week!!  I've lost weight and regained control over my eating.  No binges, yay!  And I'm feeling so much better!  That is not to say this week has been without challenges.....

Read about my Thursday through Sunday here.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

THURSDAY, August 15, 2013

Good day today!  Day 4 of doing better!  Walked 30 mins last night, too.

Felt a very apparent surge of energy this afternoon at work as a raw chef at Raw Can Roll Cafe' that felt very new...totally energized!

Apparently, my better diet and lifestyle is working!  Truly feeling better and have more energy!  My feet also didn't hurt as bad at work today as they usually do, and my athlete's foot is almost gone after only 4 days of eating better.  Amazing.

BR: oatmeal and fruit - 1/2 cup steel cut oats dry, cooked.  1 cup blueberries.  1 peach. 
SN: green smoothie - kale, mango, banana, orange, almond milk 
LN: raw salad - big raw salad with romaine and lots of veggies and the same cashew dressing i made yesterday.
DN: cooked vegan whole foods dinner - 3/4 cup cooked lentils.  3/4 cup Bob's redmill TVP rehydrated.  steamed broccoli with lemon and flax oil.  
SN: smoothie - 2 big mugs smoothie: banana, peach, blueberry, cashew

EXERCISE: Only walked 5 minutes today.  Was dreadfully overtired from two nights of only 6 hours of sleep. Took a nap after dinner and fell asleep early.

Drinking a lot of water, especially in evenings.  Feeling absolutely parched.  
Though I am only eating maybe 50% raw, I am seriously detoxing.  I've experienced THIS EXACT THIRST before when I first went raw.

It "is" a processed food, but so yummy and so low in calories and zero fat and almost zero sodium that I thought it was a good choice.  It is however, 
NOT organic, and thus, made from genetically modified soybeans.  Not okay.  I'll finish the bag, and I just checked online, I can order an organic version online.   

It would be so GREAT if i could NOT eat at night.  However, I was just freaking...STARVING.  


_ _ _ _ _ _ _


BR: green smoothie - spinach, banana, pineapple, blueberry, apple, brazil nuts 
SN: rice and tvp - 1 cup white rice, 3/4 cup Bob's Redmill TVP, rehydrated 
SN: banana whip - banana, berries, carob, coconut 
LN: 2 nori wraps - low salt raw mock toona and veggies in nori 
SN: smoothie - blueberry, hemp, banana, agave 
DN: raw "garden burger" dinner - celery, raw bread and raw garden burger pate'

Felt so starving an hour after my morning smoothie.

I'd just made the white rice for Cliff.  Not optimal, but we all make less than optimal choices when we are hungry and faced with food!  Pobody's Nerfect!  Gotta have brown rice made up, ready and waiting.

I have no idea how many calories I'm eating.  I'm just eating when I'm hungry.  The problem is, I felt hungry 6 times yesterday.  I am probably not drinking enough water.

My resolve to eat low glycemic and no bananas has flown out the window.

Here's the Garden Burger Recipe I created!

Raw Garden Burger
In cuisinart with s blade, process:
3/4 cup brazil nuts
1/4 cup packed fresh cilantro
1/8 cup fresh rosemary
3 medium carrots
2 stalks celery
half bunch of scallions
1 tsp powdered sage
juice of 1 lemon
6 medjool dates
1 tsp himalayan salt

I worked today as raw chef at Arnold's Way.  What a busy day!  Even though I had so much green smoothie this morning, I was so hungry again midmorning, thus the white rice before work.  It's so important to have food ready for myself lest I make choices that are not best for me.

After my whip at work, I was still starving.  I decided to have Anna's low salt toona, although my goal was NO salt.  You know what?  It is okay for goals to MORPH, isn't it?  My water retention is HUGELY improved and sometimes we make 2nd best choices when we are very hungry.  The problems start to come when we make 75th best choices, way, way, WAY down the list of worse and worse foods.

SO amazingly inspired tonight.  We watched a talk by Victoria Boutenko at Dinner and a Movie Night.  I actually brought the movie, which I haven't seen in YEARS since i was first raw....some 6 years ago.

Now, after listening to Victoria's cautionary advice, I am feeling like going back on all raw tomorrow!

Victoria talked about stomach acid, and how we create 2 gallons on cooked, compared to 1 cup on raw food.

This adds to feeling lousy when we become hungry on cooked.  We begin to feel irritable and depressed and frantic.

She says this is BECAUSE cooked is an addiction that triggers that reaction.  We are not hungry.  We are in withdrawl!

She says on raw, hunger feels like a dull thud that can be easily delayed.

I seriously identified.

During this past week, I've been feeling absolutely STARVING and MISERABLE and IRRITABLE when i get hungry.  Everything she explained.

But tonight at Arnold's Way after my raw meal, I did NOT feel that way when i got hungry.

And as I look back, when I was at OHI with drastically reduced calories of raw food, I do not recall feeling awful, miserable, irritable hunger.

This hunger the last few days has TRULY been terribly uncomfortable and scary.

I choose foods, and feel worried.  Am I doing okay?

I am trying to TRUST I'm making if not good, better, choices for myself.

I fear/think raw feels much better.

Victoria also talked about denial and how none of her students could stay raw until they admitted they were cooked food addicts and came out of denial.

When I went raw, I believed cooked food was addictive.  And that is what kept me raw for 3.5 years.

For the last 3 years, I have been fighting the idea that cooked food is addictive.  Maybe I've just been in denial.  

My catering partner, Susan, was a very big influence on me to be more liberal with my diet when I began to eat cooked again at her house after 3.5 years raw.  She is beautiful, normal weight, and completely in control of food.  And she also eats some cooked.

We were doing catering and I began eating at her house frequently.  She and her husband were high raw, and ate cooked beans and brown rice.

At the time, on my 811 diet, beans and brown rice seemed to be alot less fat than nuts.  How could a little bean hurt me?  I remember the conversation.  "Beans have like zero fat...and nuts have so much fat!"

With all of Doug Graham's focus on eating no fat floating around in my head, I had my first cooked beans after 3.5 years raw, at Susan's house.

After that, everything unraveled.

Was it FEAR driving me?  Or a cooked food addiction?

_ _ _

The last 3 years OFF of raw, I've been trying to create balance (mostly highly unsuccessfully) between cooked and raw.

Victoria says that balance CAN'T exist.

Yet, I look at all of the people at Arnold's Way who have lost weight eating healthier food, doing HIGH RAW, while still eating whole grains, and beans, and even fish, and they have made it work.

Not everyone who eats cooked food is veering out of control all of the time.

And last I heard, Victoria Boutenko was said to be eating cooked greens.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

Awesome article on FOOD ADDICTION

_ _ _ _ _ _ _


We went down the shore to Cape May!  Gorgeous wonderful day!!  We quickly forgot about the horrific 3 hour drive there stuck in traffic after the luscious wind and waves and sun!

I packed food and I ate all raw.  I ordered a salad out like I used to "No cheese.  No croutons" and used my own dressing.  I felt good. Hunger felt easy and not crazed.

Br: green smoothie: greens, few brazil nuts, banana, peach, pineapple, blueberries 
Sn: snack in car: 8 Medjool dates
Sn: snack in car: 1 apple
Ln: lunch on the beach: brazil nut pate, lettuce, carrots, celery with cashew dressing
Dn: restaurant salad with raw additions: salad with a few olives and balsamic vinegar and olive oil, my pate and cashew dressing 
Sn: snack back home: 2 peaches

Walked over 2 miles with Cliff down the shore!  Delightful!!!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _


Br: fruit smoothie: blueberries, peach, banana, date, carob smoothie 
Ln: cooked vegan whole foods lunch: 1/3 cup lentils, 1/2 cup brown rice, 3/4 cup Bob's Redmill TVP, 2 Tbsp raw cashew dressing, 2 medium tomatoes

Lots and lots of questions in my mind this morning about raw and cooked.

We are going out to eat with my parents tonight.  What will I do?  Raw or cooked?

Lunch time, I felt starving and didn't feel like more garden burger or cashew dressing after twice yesterday.

Did I "give in" or just make a healthy "choice" for my lunch?

I'll continue to watch and see how I feel.

After lunch, indeed, I do feel lousy, and a perceptible shift in my attitude.  Feeling kind of miserable.

Is that from eating cooked food....or from reacting to a perceived mistake?

I seem to feel better about an hour after now.

Tonight out to dinner out with my parents, I have three choices:

1. Order a huge salad for dinner
2. Get something vegan like spaghetti.
3. Get salmon.
No wonder I so often give in and just start binge eating.  The mental processing and mental focus needed to stick to or create a plan for onesself.....is frankly....exhausting.  LOL!!!  But I am looking and feeling so so SO much better, so it is worth it!!!

Thank you for joining me on this journey and for your support.

Chef Michelle Joy    

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


Hi Again :-)

Back to blogging!

Just got home from work as 'Creative Chef' at Raw Can Roll Cafe in Devon, PA.

My legs felt ALOT better today.

Today was the third day off of added salt and back to a more wholesome basic diet.

I'm working with Margaret, a Lifestyle Coach, associated with Dr. Arcilla (www.DrArcilla.com).  Dr. Arcilla runs the mostly raw retreat I went to last winter.

Margaret is helping me to reconnect with a lot of the principles I learned at the Better Living Lifestyle Center. Specifically and most importantly, she has been encouraging me daily to reconnect spiritually first and foremost to overcome binge eating and lose weight.

It is feeling so right and good and finally I see a change in behavior after 2 weeks of praying for one.

Things kind of came to a head on Monday, when I could barely bend my knees.

After 3 days of improved diet and drastically reduced salt, I have let go of a fair amount of water retention, and am feeling much better, and much more energetic!  Thank you, Margaret, for your continued support and encouragement!


Margaret gifted me an Encylopedia on Natural Healing (link coming in future blog) that has been incredibly insightful and so helpful in lassoing my recent mostly out-of-control-vegetarian-sometimes-salmon-eating diet...into it's present whole foods vegan shape.

For the last 3 days, it looks like this: 
  • raw veggies
  • green smoothies
  • raw fruit, low glycemic fruit best (berries, apples, etc...)
  • raw nuts and seeds
  • 2 Tbsp daily uncooked oil - flaxseed oil, e.e.v.o. and coconut oil, unheated
  • steamed veggies
  • cooked beans 
  • whole grains ONLY (steel cut oats, brown rice, quinoa, barley, etc.)
  • no added sugar, honey, agave
  • no added salt
  • no bread, even whole wheat, no white foods like crackers, white rice, no processed foods or veggie burgers
Please pray for me and send loving, positive energy for my success!


I feel like I have a new understanding of why I binge, to boot.

At the most basic level, my out of control destructive behavior means that I am not connected to God, my "Higher Power," Source, etc..., or I'm not allowing Him to take charge of me.  Being in connection with God and receiving His Grace (through daily prayer, reading spiritually uplifting material) (and with Margaret's prayers, daily text support and bi-weekly meetings) has enabled me to effortlessly again put aside the worst part of me, the out of control binge eater, and to allow the strong, capable winner to succeed.  That energy / ability is always there. It just feels like it dissappears when I'm not "connected" and God is not in control of me.  We are pure ENERGY RECEIVERS and we're either being controlled by bad or good.

It's only 3 days, but I'm off to a promising start with my eating back under control, and my walking regiment back on track.

The Natural Healing Encyclopedia also explains that most overeating and binge eating is caused by undernourishment.  A loaf of bread and butter may stuff me, but it's a processed white meal that's depleted in minerals and vitamins and will have me back to the kitchen looking for more, more and more, soon enough.

The proof is in the pudding.  Better food, less cravings and binge eating.  Worse food, more cravings and binge eating.    

What's more, the Encyclopedia rightly states that vegetables eaten in their RAW state are BEST for the obese. Mind you, this is NOT a RAW book, so the advice seems to impact more coming from a source non partial to raw food.

And the book stresses that anything PROCESSED is just too lacking in nutrition for the malnourished obese binge eater.  Bye bye boxed veggie burgers and bread....

This information actually confirms WHY I had my best success so far (for 3.5 years as a raw foodist on all raw veggies and no processed food), and why I had my 2nd biggest success all of those years ago in OA H.O.W., maintaining a 140 lb weight loss, eating a whole foods diet with whole grain Wasa crackers, and oatmeal, and huge raw salads, and fruit multiple times a day, and brown rice, and no sugar and nothing white.

It makes sense now WHY the times I've had success, I've had success.  Higher quality food, higher quality life.

Now, hopefully, with God in my court, I can go all the way!


415 lbs TO 195 lbs in ONE YEAR!
Watching Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition Tuesday night revved my motivation engine even further!  If Mike Epstein, a fellow East Coast Jew from New Jersey, can do it, so can I.  

weight loss
Mike Epstein - 415 lbs to 195 lbs in ONE YEAR!!!!

Watch Mike's amazingly inspirational episode here: http://watchabc.go.com/extreme-weight-loss/SH55124938/VDKA0_qtfcjtr3/mike


I'm off for my daily walk!  30 mins a day every evening is a good start to creating a routine.

Breakfast: 1/2 cup dry steel cut oats cooked.  1 cup fresh raw blueberries.  Large green smoothie with kale, almond milk, mango, orange, banana.

NOTE: Much more satiating than the Starbucks bagel and cream cheese and large sweetened tea habit as of late. No nagging cravings or sudden binges later with the oatmeal/fruit/green smoothie starting my day.     

Lunch: big romaine salad w/carrot, tomato, onion, cucumber and a delicious raw dressing.

NOTE: That dressing was SO GOOD, I ate what was pooled in the bottom of the bowl....with a spoon!  Recipe below!

Dinner: small can of chick peas rinsed thoroughly, cup of Bob's Red Mill TVP, leftover veggie salad dressed in lemon and flax oil.

NOTE: It was a BIG MEAL.  I was STARVING, and it was HEARTY and FILLING and DELICIOUS and NUTRITIOUS and I feel satiated still 3 hours later. 

I am averting my eyes for the moment as to the question of the healthfulness of grains (mucous causing? inflammatory?).  Life is a journey and I'm okay with this beginning leg of my trip.

I'm also back to following hunger/fullness.  It's the only thing that makes logical sense.  That said, I must remember: the more water one drinks, the less hungry one is!

The Health Encyclopedia also gave several interesting ideas of how to curb hunger: psyllium husk mixed with water, or grape juice diluted in water - 30 mins before a meal. I'll let you know when I try!

And I'm also not weighing myself.

I also pop in a Paul McKenna dvd now and again and find him as inspirational and motivating as ever.  For mind-set, Paul really teaches how to keep the focus on what we want...and not what "is."

I'm using my pedometer again.  So motivating.  Every step...equals a new success.

ALL IN ALL: It's more about maintaining self control, and finding sustainable balance in my diet, and life.

Remember: Self control is a gift!  Thank you, God!!!!

Common Sense Approach
The more I stay connected to God, take "Good Orderly Direction" and control my diet and exercise....the WEIGHT will take care of itself....


Here's that dressing from my lunch salad.  It was SO GOOD, I'd consider making it....as a SOUP!!!

pic from www.heckagoodrecipes.blogspot.com
In Vitamix:

  • 3/4 cup cashews
  • 1 clove garlic
  • 3 Tbsp nutritional yeast
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 1/4 cup packed fresh cilantro
  • 1/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice 
Blenderize until smooth.  Terrific over a romaine salad!  Delish!!!!

Hope you try this recipe and enjoy!!!

Keep in touch!

Raw Chef Michelle Joy

Monday, August 12, 2013


Water retention is always an issue with me.  My mother says my diapers were dry as a child, so it's an issue I've had since birth.  Fluid goes in, it just doesn't want to come out.

There must have been a lot more sodium in the salads I ate yesterday from Whole Foods than I thought.  My legs felt like lead weights today, working at Raw Can Roll Cafe.

Deciding to go raw and salt free this evening to help alleviate the water retention, I came up with a surprisinging delicious dinner that I thought I would share with you.  It's something similar to a salad I once demo-ed for a raw cooking class, so, starving this evening, the idea came back to me since we had all of the right ingredients on hand, many fresh from our summer patio garden!!!

I can't express to you how exciting it is to just go outside on the patio and pick organic home grown tomatoes and herbs, and come in and make dinner!!

Question: Where is anybody getting fresh organic corn from these days?

NONE at Whole Foods EVER this summer. We keep checking and calling.  Nada.  

We got ours from a wonderful organic farm in Lancaster County that a friend told me about.  If you need the info, let me know!!  They don't have a website.  

For this recipe, if you don't have organic fresh corn on hand, use the frozen organic.  Next best thing.

I really do hope you make this salad!!  Very vibrant colors and fresh flavors, accented by the lightest of dressings!  You really get to just appreciate the veggie and herb flavors the way God made them!  Very nice mouth feel with the crunchy celery and peppers...and the soft of the avocado and cashews...and the squirt and tarty sweet of the tomatoes.  Really very good.

Mmmmm, super natural, super yummy!  Make it!

Add ingredients to a big bowl, toss, and enjoy! Cover and refrigerate leftovers.
  • corn kernals from 4 shucked corn
  • handful fresh basil, sliced thin 
  • 2 mint leaves, sliced thin
  • handful cilantro, torn
  • 10 fresh raw cashews, whole
  • 10 cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 2 stalks celery, sliced thin
  • 2 radishes, sliced thin
  • 1/4 cup scallion, sliced thin
  • 3/4 cup sweet red pepper, small chunks
  • 1/2 avocado, small chunks
  • 1/2 jalapeno pepper, very small chunks
  • 2 small carrots, shredded
  • top 1/3 of a bunch of baby asparagus 
  • juice of one lemon
  • 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
I didn't put any salt or agave or garlic, but season as you wish, although it honestly didn't need a THING!  
My salad sort of looked like this pic (from the food network), but much more colorful with the radish rounds and asparagus tips and shaved carrots and the avocado chunks!

Really, people, this was a very delicious and nutritious summer salad, inspired by things growing in a home garden.  I hope you try it.

Let me know!

Michelle Joy

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


Hi Everyone :-))

In addition to my raw cheffing at Arnold's Way, I am now raw cheffing at Raw Can Roll Cafe' in Devon PA!

The food is so clean, pure, delicious!  I LOVE this place!!

Raw Can Roll Cafe

Sheryll Chavarria, the owner, is such a doll, I LOVE her!!

I will be at Raw Can Roll M-T-W-Th, and at Arnold's Way on Fridays.

Please drop by Raw Can Roll or Arnold's Way....to say HI and to get something fantastic to eat!

Oooooh, today I had the Mexican Taco at Raw Can Roll....mmmmm!

(Raw taco nutmeat, raw salsa and guacamole, lettuce, but served on a not raw sprouted Ezekiel corn tortilla.)  Delish!!!!


I also had the Tabouli and the Jicama "potato" salad as a side dish.  Amazing!

Hope to see you there soon!!


xoxo, michelle joy

Saturday, March 2, 2013


Hello, there!

Just got back from a walk of almost 3,000 steps!  My muscles are twitching, I'm sweating, and I feel that old excitement for walking!  It feels like the good old days again, walking my tush off and blogging about it here.

I have made a vitally important realization - I don't have to be 100% raw to be walking again (as I had irrationally feared.)  And I don't need to be 100% raw to stop binge eating.

It's been almost 3 weeks, and binge eating has vanished.

About 3 weeks ago, I started Paul McKenna's Hypnosis program, "I Can Make You Thin."

I admit it, the name, "I Can Make You Thin," made me take notice, but it didn't strike me that the program would really WORK.  The kitchy-goofy name doesn't invite one to take the program too seriously, all be it an attractive promise for the end of obesity, it also seems like just your average marketing ploy to buy.  But I am here to say, as one with YEARS of personal experience in Binge Eating Disorder treatment, this program is a real, true, honest to goodness Food Addiction Recovery Program, bar none.

I've been to hospitals.  I've been on every diet.  I was raw.  I was a fruitarian!  Nothing worked.  I couldn't stop bingeing.

Something very wise in me KNEW that I needed a more balanced approach.  Call me a raw phony or a raw failure.  I really don't care.  

When nothing else works, McKenna says, "If you are the kind of person who feels absolutely HOPELESS,  and you've tried EVERYTHING with no success, this is the program for you."

It's true.

It's true.

It's true!

I am doing SO well, when I didn't think I would or COULD again.

But this is in a NEW way.

I'm controlling myself!

I'm living...in MODERATION.

I'm RIGHT where I want to and NEED to be today.

I needed this PERMISSION to be imperfect, and still be GREAT!

Any kind of DIET, be it Jenny Craig or Holier Than Thou 100% Raw Vegan, set me up for failure.

Right now, I am feeling SO amazingly because I am experiencing a freedom and a peace with food that I didn't know, but I always hoped, was possible.

I can take this kind of freedom anywhere.  I can apply it to ANY kind of food.  I get to make the choices when I'm in control.  I can be Raw if I want to again, or I don't have to be.  Food is not in control of me.  I'm in control of food.  

My co-worker commented, "You seem....GOOD, Michelle, and your energy is great....and you look great!  What are you DOING?!!"  She was SO happy to hear about the hypnosis.  "I am SO HAPPY for you!," she exclaimed.

It's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you pick yourself back up......

Cliff notices.  He can leave me alone now and I don't eat everything in sight.  He also says I eat small "normal" portions now, and that I have slowed way down.  Used to me scarfing down my food faster than a speeding bullet, sometimes he's done eating before ME now!  He also says I look better, too.  ("Are you sure?," I winced.  "Yes. A lot better," he emphasized.)

I can see it, too.  Small changes weekly.  My face looks a little thinner, my pants a little looser.  I've lost weight by not caring about my weight anymore.  I accept myself as I am today.  I am not a number.  I am not a diet.  I am more than that.  

Bestest of all, I'm in control of my eating.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy.  I don't ever want to lose this feeling!

The program is unbelievably easy.  I listen to one of the various CDs or DVDs from the Deluxe set of the program that I ordered from the McKenna website.  I write in the Success Tracker Journal every night, and I wear a pedometer.

These are about the only efforts I have to make:
  1. Click PLAY on the DVD or CD player daily.
  2. Write in Success Tracker journal nightly.
  3. Wear a pedometer.  Walk more.  
The rest just....kinda happens, naturally.


Listening to McKenna daily, I am reprogramming my mind for success, reprogramming my mind to be in control with food without dieting, to not experience cravings, to want to move, to feel happy and empowered and motivated, to feel happy and at peace with my body, to accept myself where I'm at today with my weight and my life, to feel hopeful with a strong vision for the future, and....to handle emotions effectively, without compulsive eating.

As long as I listen daily, it just....HAPPENS.

(Actually, I missed two days, and it still happens.)

Because of his program, I have self control with food, I don't eat compulsively when I cook or work, I eat small portions of what I want, I eat slowly, I have a snack without it flying out of control, I no longer overeat at meals or emotionally eat in my car or binge eat for days and weeks on end, I eat binge foods even but don't binge, I'm conscious and aware when I eat instead of off in la-la-land in my head obsessing about food, and I'm incredibly CALM around food now.

If I didn't weigh over 300 lbs, you would think I was normal. 

Effortless fundamental changes in my relationship with food...

Drastic changes in how I feel about myself and in how I am coping with life (by not eating)....

All by pressing PLAY and LISTENING...passively.

The wisdom in the hypnosis sessions, the wisdom of the entire program, and how very comprehensive it is still amaze me 3 weeks in.

I wrote to a friend, "I feel like I am being cradled in God's arms daily by doing this program." 

I know what to do if I run into trouble now.  I use the TOOLS offered.  Surprise, surprise, they work.

I've done the tapping TFT technique to squelch cravings.  Shockingly EFFECTIVE.

YEARS of therapy couldn't stop binge eating, but a few taps, some eyeball swirls, and humming "Jingle bells" CAN?

"YES, Virginia, there really IS a Santa Claus.  And his name is Paul McKenna!"

Here is a youtube of the "Man" demonstrating the TFT technique.



Next time you are experiencing a craving, try it.  I dare you:



There are emergency DVDs and CDs to turn to in times of struggle - I've used them all - and an emergency telephone number to call a recording of McKenna, should I feel a binge coming on.

In a soothing voice, I hear the handsome Brit coo in my ear, "Take a deep breath, feel yourself relaxing and calming down....."

And I do...

Soon, I'm floating into the best highest place of myself and any thought of eating has just flown the coop.

In just a few minutes, I'm back on track.

And I don't have to say, "Send me a bill."  At under $200, this program is a BARGAIN.

To top it all off, the Success Tracker Journal, which could have been entirely BOGUS, is so NOT.

Aside from being a place to note my daily successes and observations, McKenna's Success Tracker Journal offers daily guidance in a daily lesson.  Always VERY insightful and helpful and delightfully encouraging, nudging us ever onwards towards success.

I really feel like I'm getting support from every possible angle on this program.

I am so grateful to Paul McKenna, and to Dr. Oz for having McKenna on his show.

Though he is relatively unknown here in the U.S., Paul McKenna is really very wellknown in the U.K., and one of the worlds most successful authors of self help books.  He has hosted self improvement television shows in the U.K., and is considered a world wide authority on hypnosis, medititation, neuro-linguistic programming, weight loss and motivation.

This was really the kind of support I needed but didn't have when I left the Better Living Lifestyle Center.  That was a GREAT program, but when I fell down and went boom...a month after leaving there, I felt like a ship without an anchor.  Yes, I had God and the Bible, but no CDs or DVDs to play to return me to the mindset, the security and motivation I received at the Center.  I had no journal with daily lessons to keep me making progress forward.  Nothing to guide me, now that I was on my own.  I was scared to call the Dr because I felt like such a royal failure, since the last time we spoke, he said I was sabotaging myself.  I'm sorry.  I didn't know how NOT to.  Falling off of those blessed 2 meals a day, my world basically....collapsed.  When you put all of your eggs into one basket and then they fall and all crack, what do you do then?

Praying to God for help, I think I was directed to McKenna.

I had to find out the hard way that 2 meals a day is not the KEY to stopping binge eating.

It IS a highly effective external diet control and a VERY HEALTHY and EXCELLENT way to live, and an EXCELLENT aid to digestion and weight loss, but it is NOT the SOLUTION to binge eating.

It was a $4,000 lesson, but an important one.  I needed to get knocked down the last time before I was ready for the answer.

What IS the solution to end binge eating????

In 4 simple steps, it is:
Not NEW or REVOLUTIONARY information.

But it's how naturally THIN people live and it is the answer in a nutshell.

It is also the approach of Geneen Roth, of "Overcoming Overeating," by Hirschman and Munter, of "Weigh Down Workshop" with Gwen Shamblin, and of most Eating Disorder therapists and hopitals.

There is SOMETHING ROCK HARD RIGHT, however, about the way McKenna just TOTALLY nails it like NONE of these other programs ever did.

With Weigh Down, I was scared to death to eat one bite too much, lest I go to hell.  And by the way, the Remnant Church is a cult.  Don't get messed up with them.

With Overcoming Overeating, all I did was BINGE all day on potato chips and cookies.  And with Geneen Roth, the same kind of thing happened.  It was so much about legalizing "pleasure food," I couldn't understand why I felt so bad when I was supposed to be feeling so good.  I could never make any progress.

The BLLC was GREAT, but I didn't have another $4,000 to spend to go back for a refresher course.  If I can't do it on my own, it ain't gonna happen.

Perhaps it is something about NOW, being ready for it, with my background in raw, my adherance to a mostly Vegan diet, my willingness to completely give up dieting for good, and McKenna's amazingly effective teachings, I feel confident that I now have the makings of a sure-fire hit plan for success.

It will take time.....,yes.  But I'm incredibly HOPEFUL.

It's a 90 day program, so you'll be hearing alot about it.

70-some days left!  I'll keep in touch and let you know how I'm doing.  More details on the nitty gritty coming this week!

Blessings and keep in touch!
xoxo michelle joy

Monday, February 18, 2013



As I sit here and type, I am conscious of my pedometer kind of poking into my gut as it is attached to the waist of my pants.

Hey, that's a good thing!  For the minor irritation of it, and the new "tick" I have of constantly checking to see whether it is still attached and counting, wearing my pedometer, from morning until night, has become a very tolerable and enjoyable new habit, despite the minor irritation it provides.

It's been well over a week since I've worn it daily, and it is so entirely motiving.  One step, two steps, three steps....six thousand steps...and counting!  Wearing a step counter proves that the tiniest amount of effort, just one little step, can add up into something potentially big!
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I love how wearing my pedometer makes me FEEL - motivated to move because I see IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION!  I've become motivated to challenge myself, too!  Can i walk just a little further?

Paul McKenna, the Hypnosis guy, says, "Anything you count, you improve."

It's so true!  In counting daily, my numbers have been steadily growing.

My energy has been steadily growing too!

One step at a time, we can create BIG CHANGES!

My winter coat feels looser!  
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Little inconveniences....like getting up to get something (when Cliff could get it for me, instead), or taking a further parking spot....suddenly become attractive and desirable because I know they'll add to a higher step count!

Counting steps is a brilliant idea....fun and motivating!  I WANT to walk more as a result!

The pedometer came with my "I Can Make You Thin" program that I bought from www.PaulMcKenna.com.  I risked what seemed like it might be a gimmick purchase, a self hypnosis program for weight loss that I saw on TV.  I'd seen McKenna, a hypnotherapist, on Dr. Oz and was honestly very impressed.  I figured I'd might as well try.  (I could always return it.)

McKenna is brilliant and the REAL DEAL.  I have never felt such gratitude for a program.

You know what?  The program works!

Time will truly tell, but so far, my eating habits have changed radically in a little over a week.

7-Day Solution Deluxe Program

I listen to the CDs and watch the DVDs, and then I actually do what he says.  I suppose I'm responding to his powerful suggestions.  I log my success in the Rapid Results Success Tracker.  I wear the pedometer daily.  I eat when I'm hungry, what I want, I savor my food, and turn from it when I'm satisfied.

I am radically calmer around food.

I have not had a binge in over a week.

I eat slower.  I eat less.  I count my bites.  I make good choices.  I walk more.  I'm back to my long hilly "Manayunk" walks!  When I look in the mirror, I send myself lots and lots of love and acceptance no matter what I see looking back at me.

McKenna says, "You have to accept yourself as you are."  Only in doing this, constantly, can we ever hope to move forward.      

And, to boot, I've experienced upset feelings this week, but did not turn to food.
I have also found togetherness helps, tremendously.  Cliff has been so supportive.  We eat almost all of our meals together now.  He reminds me to slow down.  We chat.  I put my fork down between bites.  I try more to mimic his timing.  Suddenly, my eating has become...  Dare I say it?  NORMAL.

My eating has gone from DISORDERED to NORMAL in just a few DAYS!!!  

Portia de Rossi, author of "Unbearable Lightness," cured her eating disorder by not eating alone anymore, but by eating with her lovers, exclusively.

Before working on the McKenna plan, I'd fallen BADLY, again, into continual binge and sneak-eating, alone, purely to feed emotional hunger.  The more I did it, the lonelier, and more depressed and hopeless I became.

Emotional eating serves many needs, but leaves one with TREMENDOUS negative consequences, and no way out.

I really didn't see a way out.  I am incrediulous that this "so-called gimmick" program is having such a HUGE impact.    I'm really changing, effortlessly.

It is effortless effort.  I do it....because I want to.

I'm eating amounts of a normal person, 2-3 meals a day with a snack or two sometimes.  I've moved from what I learned at the Better Living Lifestyle Center (2 meals a day because the founder of the Seventh Day Adventists, Ellen White, said so) to something more intuitively driven.  It feels RIGHT for today.

My mood is highly improved and I'm hopeful.  Learning to eat from HUNGER is what is going to ULTIMATELY cure me for life.  I am learning SELF CONTROL and it's not even hard, or impossible, as I had thought.

_ _ _

We eat Vegan, mostly.  Lots of salads, nuts, seeds, vegetables, beans, whole grains, fruit.  Green smoothies almost every day.  We save the egg/dairy for treats.  I try to keep everything as unprocessed as possible.  If I want other stuff, maybe i'll eat it.  We'll see.
Produce falling into wood bowl
I'm not giving myself any guilts over raw.  I trust that the more and more attuned I become to my body, the more and more raw I will desire.  This is a PROCESS.  First things first.

My good friend, Sheryl, says, "Anyone can follow a diet for a short time, but what can you stay with for a lifetime?"

Bingers always binge out of plans, so I purposely don't have a plan.  My choices come from my desires.  I'm glad my desires are as healthy as they are right now.

I feel a wonderful sense of freedom and flexibility and peace around food today.  I'm learning to trust my desires.  I'm learning I can take care of myself.

My goal today is not 100% raw, but to be 100% cured of chronic binge eating, overeating, and of morbid obesity.  I believe, finally, that I've found a program that is teaching me how to get there by empowering me to do it myself!   

I'm taking things at a pace comfortable to me.  McKenna gives permission to do that.

I'm enjoying where I am at right now.  I'm not terribly concerned about weight loss.  It's happening very slowly.

I don't weigh myself anymore.

This time is all about severing that bond to emotional eating...for good.

No more putting the CART before the HORSE.

I finally have come to terms with the fact that, I, as a binge eater, must re-learn how to eat normally and develop the confidence that I have control with food, before I can refine my choices, and actually have them stick, long term.  

_ _ _

Curiously, the rest of life takes care of itself when answering HUNGER is paid attention to!  Babies learn this...why did I never?

McKenna says, "There are two reasons to eat.  Because you are hungry, or because you want to change the way you feel."

I grow more confident, more resourceful daily when I use OTHER methods to change the way I feel, instead of turning to food, like talking out an issue with someone, or making a phone call to vent, or distracting myself by going for a walk or watching TV, or doing a craft if I feel unstimulated, or beautifying myself if I feel blah, or hugging a teddy bear or pet if I need comfort, or visiting neighbors or family or going out with friends if i feel lonely, or seeing a movie or show if I need entertainment, or learning how to say NO if I feel infringed upon in any way....etc...    

Yes, there are OTHER things BESIDES FOOD that can serve to:
  • protect 
  • comfort
  • soothe
  • entertain
  • distract
  • celebrate
  • commisserate
  • stimulate, etc...

McKenna says we are trying to HELP ourselves by using food, it's just our faulty "programming" that is at fault.  

For instance, my soul feels fed because I just got back from a lusicous "Manayunk walk" with Cliff.  We saw some dogs at the park!  I could have easily easily eaten everything in fridge to fill my empty hole in the soul.  Instead of abusing food, this activity provided a real answer for real needs for:
  • togetherness
  • sensory stimulation
  • movement
  • self pride
  • excitement
  • confidence
  • community
Life answers our needs in such BETTER ways.

And food never tasted as good as it does when I am truly hungry for it.
_ _ _

WWW.THEWALKINGSITE.COM is a good website.  According to the website, 10,000 steps a day, or 5 miles a day, TOTAL, is ideal for long term weight control and health.

On a good day, where I take a good walk and am active all day (or on a busy day where I work as a raw chef), I have been getting over 6,000 steps/day.  On a less active day, I've tracked 3,000 - 4,500.

The website claims that sedentary people get between 1,000-3,000 steps a day, although I am sure that on some of my worst sedentary days, I did not even get over 500 steps in the entire day.

Upping our average weekly steps by 500 per week is suggested until we reach 10,000/day.

McKenna states that 2,000 steps is about a 15 minute walk.

I can DO that!  (So can you!)

In fact, I can get 250 steps just by walking down my street, half way!

It's amazing how steps add up.  I'm SO excited to keep going with this!  Won't you join me?
A couple talking while they are out on a walk
Walking Benefits:

  • Burns calories
  • Strengthens back muscles
  • Slims your waist
  • Easy on your joints
  • Strengthens your bones
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Allows time with family and friends
  • Shapes and tones your legs and butt
  • Cuts cholesterol
  • Reduces risk of heart disease, diabetes, & more
  • Reduces stress
  • Sleep better
  • Improves mood and outlook on life
  • Can be done almost anywhere
  • Requires no equipment
  • AND it's Free
    xoxo michelle joy