Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Feeling GOOD Feels GOOD!

Official Weigh In Week 8

Beginning Raw Vegan Weight: 425

Beginning Blog Weight: 277

Weight Two Weeks Ago (Week Six): 257.5

Weight Last Week (Week Seven): 249.5 wow!

Weight This Morning (Week Eight): 253 3/4

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Good morning!

Don't you just LOVE this picture?

That's what pure raw joy FEELS like to me.

Ahhh, what a rainy morning here in Philly! Time to get ready and go to work soon, although i might just do a quickie supermarket run. We're all out of 'nanners and i really am hungry for a smoothie!!!

I feel HAPPY today. That is SO NICE.

Over the last few weeks, i've been attempting to be more moderate with my diet. Not because i think it's 'healthier' per se, 80-10-10 is probably one of the more healthy raw vegan diets. The only problem was, I was experiencing very out of control binges on gourmet raw food and experienced a complete state of out of control while at work in the raw kitchen I am employed at. I didn't like that and it didn't feel good.

In an effort to actually EAT LESS....I'm allowing myself to EAT MORE. And, you know what? I think i'm happier. And i actually think it's working.

Yesterday was a very very moderate good day. I had medium amounts of fat, no salt. I enjoyed everything i ate thoroughly and didn't binge. I even woke up happy!

For WEEKS now i have not visited 'All the Way Live' or 'Oasis', my favorite raw hangouts. These were binge spots for me. I would go to All the Way and order 2 supersize raw meals, 2 desserts and 2 drinks and eat it all myself in the car. Or i'd go to Oasis and order 3 take out meals, plus buy tons of chocolate, desserts, crackers, and eat it all in the car before and during my ride home. I haven't NEEDED to do that in WEEKS. You know what? I'm saving money not binging on raw gourmet!

The last few days have also been extremely productive. We're renovating our old house and being the disorganized slobs we have been, have lots and lots to get organized. But, you know what? It's beginning to come together! We have extreme storage issues with this house. Ya know why? There are NO CLOSETS!!!! So, some of the piggie ways we have been living are not really our fault. We have had management issues with all of our stuff. But things are coming together. Cliffy bought a gorgeous farm-style cedar chest and i just filled it up to the brim with all of his winter sweaters. SOLUTION! We bought two wheely clothes racks which are filled with hanging clothes, now. A forthcoming project will be to clean out the 'back room' filled with junk so we can wheel our clothes into there. Exposed hanging clothes just look sloppy in a room. I really feel confident we are getting this place in order...and will continue to do so. You know why? IT FEELS GOOD!

Man, feeling good feels nice.

I also have sooooooooooo been wanting to dedicate an entire blog post to my daily exercise. I cannot tell you, can barely put into words how GOOD it feels to trek all around Manayunk, enjoy the quaint houses, enjoy my new faster mobility, how GOOD it FEELS to move, to enjoy the sights, the sounds, the birds tweeting, the doggies i meet. It's sometimes fun to walk on Main Street like i did last night. Main Street in Manayunk is a wonderful hotspot for young people. There must be 20 restaurants at least on Main Street itself, most of them providing seating on the sidewalk, so it's very lively and lots to look at on a walk.

I also feel such a sense of ACCOMPLISHMENT on these walks. I've been sticking to it almost daily, why? Because i HAVE to? Not really. I don't HAVE to walk. No one is holding a gun to my head.

I think i've kept up with the walking BECAUSE I ENJOY IT. Because it feels GOOD. Because it is FEELING GOOD to FEEL GOOD.

And i do get so many compliments that i am looking so much better and that i have lost alot of inches. Which feels SO GOOD.

Tim, my friend, who lost 140lbs in 8 months himself eating 100% raw and is absolutely the epitome of SVELTE now, hadn't seen me in two months, and i hadn't seen him in two months, and when we saw each other last week at the Food, Inc. movie, we just stood there, amazed, and gawked at each other for what seemed like minutes on end. Oh, my god, I could not believe how the daily 10+ mile runs he's been doing have absolutely TRANSFORMED his body. And about me, he said he "almost passed out" by my beauty, haha, i did look good that night in my new coral top, a very flattering color, but he said i have lost so many inches he couldn't believe it. That was the night i weighed 249.5.

I felt so good that night. I had taken the train ALL BY MYSELF that night downtown. I walked from the house to the trainstation, felt like i looked gorgeous, walked to the movie theater, felt gorgeous the whole way there. It wasn't only feeling GORGEOUS...it was feeling ABLE, MOBILE, FREE, EXCITED by all of that, INDEPENDANT, ADVENTUROUS. It felt so damned good!!! They say BEAUTY comes from within...and i was AGLOW that night with pure raw BEAUTY....because i felt so good!

Well, you know what? I feel damned good this morning about weighing about 4 lbs more. You know why? I KNOW it's only water weight. I only had ONE SALT FREE RECOVERY DAY this week, and FOUR last week.

In my quest for moderation and to stay the same weight "zone" for several weeks, i feel i'm accomplishing it, and i feel quite satisfied with myself.

At some point again, i may go for a big weight loss push, to break 250 and maybe hang out in the 230's for a while. Would that ever be cool?

But for right now, i'm actually really enjoying where i am. I'm getting comfortable with finding a moderate path.

I still have severe challenges with RAW LIVING BREAD at work. That seems to be my number one issue. I think part of the issue is just IMPULSE CONTROL. Raw bread is like a cracker really, and has the snacking sensation of a potato chip. It's crispy, salty, fatty. It's hard to stop once you start.

I am toying with the idea of setting aside a mixed carton (5 slices) of bread for myself today. And that will be my allowed allotment for the day. That will address the impulse part of it. I won't then allow myself to 'taste' bread as i'm unloading the dehydrators and packing it up, a big big big DANGER zone for me, and i'll thoroughly enjoy 1 or 2 raw meals served on bread today.

As i'm already 253 and some, i'm a little afraid my weight will go too high if i really chow down. It would be best to keep it as simple and light as i can tolerate. It would be good if i planned what i would eat when i got there. It also helped before to make sure i eat something every 3-4 hours. When eating heavier foods, it's important for me to remember also to KEEP THE PORTIONS SMALL, not even because i'm trying to lose weight, but because if i eat a large portion, i'm not hungry for like 6 hours and i start to freak out and eat anyway. Best to eat smaller portions so i can enjoy eating again soon.

Most of this moderation thing is for me to actually ENJOY FOOD and reap great PLEASURE from it.

Binges are for the most part gluttonously grabbing for pleasure, but never EXPERIENCING it.

EAting from hunger in a relaxed joyous state is so pleasurable. It feels so good.


Wish me luck, folks. I send love to you, send healing, loving energy for a day filled with pure raw joy! It CAN be achieved... It just takes a little learning sometimes! Hang in there...it's worth it!

xoxox michelle joy

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