Sunday, June 27, 2010


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Hi Michelle!

This is Andrea from I'm willing to help you in any way that I can, even if it is just through e-mail...whatever you are comfortable with. I am not holding the EATING DISORDERS ANONYMOUS meetings in Phila any longer, since there has been zero interest for the most part, since the old chairperson left. Oh well. I can't keep paying rent when no one shows up :-(

"Crazy abstaining diets" would be "yo-yo dieting." It goes like this, generally speaking. You lose thirty gain forty. You lose forty gain fifty. It really kills your metabolism, AND causes binge eating, since you are denying yourself comfort foods. That is the WORST kind of dieting for a binge eater!

A healthy diet and healthy lifestyle will cause you to lose weight...but it will NOT be rapid. You will need to be comfortable with progress measured in baby steps...not giant leaps. Really though, even e-mailing for help really IS a giant leap!

I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much right now. <3!! I hope it will all work out in the end...even if it seems so stressful right now.

Are you sure you cannot afford a nutritionist? I can help you work on a meal plan. I'm not an expert but I have been exposed to meal planning enough to know how to do it. You should also start an exercise routine. Nothing major, just 30 minutes of walking, three times a week to start :-)

I have to keep this e-mail short, since I'm having dinner with my mom, but I will e-mail you more info later tonight!

Stay well <3

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Hi Andrea,

So sorry to hear that the meeting will not take place tonight. i was set and ready to go!

But, if you are willing to be my "email E.D.A. sponsor," i am certainly very very grateful!

It just so happens that your email could not come at a better time. i was just sitting outside eating my breakfast contemplating fast weight loss vs. slow weight loss, and here comes your email articulating it exactly.

i did join weight watchers yesterday and read through the paperwork carefully. with weight watchers you are expected to lose 1/2 - 2 lbs a week, which seems to me to be slow and a normal rate of weight loss. excrutiatingly slow, haha.

i'm expected to eat so many portions of fruit/veg, 2 servings of milk products a day, 2 tsp of olive oil, plenty of fluids, and it is fine to substitute beans, eggs and soy products for meat. Weight Watchers seems sensible.

we had a good meeting and the leader asked what would be my fears about staying on weight watchers this summer and i said, 'slow weight loss....and lack of motivation.."

yes, i can do a fast and lose 20 + lbs in one week, but you are absolutely indoubidably (is that a word?) correct - i WILL gain it back, plus some, because that is what i do. yoyo dieting is exactly what i do.

that you say "comfort foods are so important to us with eating disorders" is amazing to hear that confirmed. i guess i think i'm crazy or something is wrong with me that i can't stay on these crazy deprivation diets. i always break out.

It's going to be a relief to be able to eat small portions of binge foods, so i never have to binge again. I'll look forward to talking to you more about this.

Lately, before i contacted you, things got really out of control with my weight. I was 250 last summer and weighed in at 315 yesterday. i've gained 65 lbs this year, and at least 30 or 40 of the lbs has been within the last month or two. i can gain weight amazingly fast.

So lately, the scale has been goiing up, up, up, up instead of up and down, and up and down, and up and down like it was (last year i was between 250 and 280 for most of the year), and being well over 300 again is horrible (i feel like shit, huge, embarrassed, and ashamed). i used to weigh 425lbs and i've been so scared i'll get right back up to where i was. I was on my way.

i really came to the point where i thought it was preferable to yo yo instead of constantly gaining like i have been the past two months, and i wanted to go back on a deprivaton diet just to lose alot of this weight quickly, but i must say, you are right. i will binge again and in the long run, losing slowly is probably the best course of action. hard to make peace with and look at my chubby face daily and not fit in my clothes, but it is best. i have to just accept.

so, i 've been on a months long binge, almost non stop, with some doing very well in the middle, so returning to more normal eating after weight watchers yesterday felt good.

I stopped exercising this past week because i was so depressed. i generally walk at least 3x/week for 30 mins and i swim, too. i often walk for an hour more than 3 days/week. so i'll get back to it.

yesterday, i ate:

for breakfast, i had watermelon, 4 cups

for snack, i had a blueberry/banana smoothie with 1 tbsp of tahini in it (protein).

for lunch, i had 2 wraps made from: 2 jumbo eggs, 2 light whole wheat wraps, lots of veggies, parmesan cheese, salsa, and 4oz light cream cheese

for snack i had 2 cups of dry kashi cereal

for dinner i had a homemade cream of mushroom soup wth tons of veggies, 1 cup of rice. (i sauteed the veggies in 2 tsp of oil)

I didn't even count my points yesterday, I just wrote down everything i ate, and i am debating if i will count my points. I think the best thing for me to do, actually, is to just eat what i think is a good amount and then count up my points later, or at the end of the week, because i can tend to get nuts if i "go over" my points and i'll binge because i feel like a failure. it's better for me not to even know, and to just satisfy myself with a reasonable amount of food.

I can use Weight Watchers to my advantage - the meetings are super supportive, i can CHOOSE to get weighed MONTHLY if i want, instead of weekly, I can write my food down and not count points, etc...

As far as nutritionists goes, i honestly don't have the money right now to see one weekly. I'm not working. And after all of these years, i have a pretty good sense of what i need: protein, fat, fruit, vegetables, dairy. Weight Watchers is pretty well rounded.

Anyway, i have to run.

P.S. I used to go to O.A. for many years so i am very familiar with the steps, etc... I'd like to work them.

xoxo michelle joy

1 comment:

Steve @ Free Acai Berry said...

Slow weight loss is better cause the life style changes are more gradual and easier to keep once the desired weight is achieved.