Monday, June 14, 2010

A Day In The Life Of A Vegetarian - Eating Binge Eating Disordered - Raw Food Chef Whose Mom Is Still In I.C.U.


: Watermelon, 91 cals
SN: Small Cheesy Veggie Wrap - lite wheat wrap, 2 triangles lite laughing cow light cheese, 1 fresh tomato and spinach leaves, 214 cals
LN: Mock Tofu Eggsalad Salad - mock tofu eggsalad from Whole Foods, large salad of romaine, carrot, cucumber, celery, onion, 305 cals
SN: 1 Skinny Cow Ice cream: 170 cals
DN: Spelt Spaghetti Dinner - spelt spaghetti, lots of veggies, marinara sauce, 1 boca burger, 1 tbsp parm cheese, 1 tsp olive oil, 1 slice whole grain bread: 798 cals
SN: 4th Meal - 1 tofu hotdog on bun, 2 skinny cow icecream sandwhiches (was hungry): 480 cals
TOTAL CALS: 2,174 cals

: 4,087 steps (no formal walk yesterday) 165 cals burned and 2.0 miles walked entire day.

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Yesterday was a hard day. My mom took a turn for the worse and they didn't know what was wrong. They finally discovered only today that the terrible pain she was experiencing in her stomach may have been due to a blockage in the drainage tube from her surgery. It's flowing again, her blood pressure is back up and her fever broke. Unfortunately, they had to intubate her again, as she had evidence of a lot of fluid in her lungs. They're still trying to determine the exact cause of her setback.

I'm hopeful, however, that she'll bounce back. She had been doing SO well, and this episode came on her suddenly. Perhaps now it's resolved and she'll move in the right direction again, as she had been.

Please continue to pray for my mother's full recovery. I appreciate your support so much.

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I was hungry last night and ate what amounted to a 4th meal, really, but it never went out of control, and when i was done eating, i felt satisfied, and i didn't eat any more calories than i have been, so, all in all, i'm getting by. Maybe no incredible strides were made yesterday, but i'm ok with it. It would have been nice to have made it through the day with less calories since i didn't do a formal walk yesterday, but, I had hunger and chose to eat. If i look at what i'm doing as a 'lifestyle' instead of a 'diet,' i did fine. At least i didn't binge. I'm still doing fitday, i'm still writing down everything i eat. I'm eating a moderate amount of calories compared to my binge eating days. I'm going in the right direction for curing my eating disorder.

As far as my "health" or my "weight problem," I'm not so sure how i'm doing. I'm eating vegetarian, lots of evil soy products that i love, and lots of dairy treats. It's definitely tons better than how i was doing only weeks ago.

I'm on some kind of a journey. I'll let you know what happens when i finally reach my destination!

Vegetarian does not come without it's consequences. I'd mentioned a strange lump on my calf i noticed recently. With all of the sodium and processed foods, i'm pretty sure my blood pressure is still up. And my energy is not soaring. I still look like I weigh the same everytime i look at myself which i try to make peace with. I'm not eating 'diet' caloric amounts, afterall, so i'll probably only lose if i vigorously exercise daily.

The one good thing is I have a ton more peace around food these days. Lots and lots of junk in the house and constantly in the hospital cafeteria, yet, i don't eat it emotionally, only when i'm hungry, make good choices now, and I've stopped binge eating. So, for today, this is worth it. Perhaps a necessary stone to tread on along my walk.

xoxo michelle joy

1 comment:

mikelle said...

thinking of you and your family. sending loving thoughts your way. i definitely will connect with you by email in the next few days :)