DAY SEVEN - Meredith & Michelle Support Club!

Morning,

Well, this morning i'm feeling quite out of sorts, bored, unstimulated, confused, sad, depressed. I'm an emotional enigma. No wonder I already ate a bowl of Fuhrman soup for breakfast!!!! It was yummy, though, and i enjoyed it and i've made peice with that and accept it. Hopefully a nice little walk today and a visit to my moms will perk me up.

I weighed myself this morning, but i stayed the same. Funny how that would make me feel badly, momentarily. I lost an astounding 18 lbs in one week doing the Dr. Fuhrman program.

I've been receiving mostly very encouraging messages regarding the Fuhrman program.

My catering partner, Susan, who i met with yesterday to work on catering jobs we have lined up, is quite familiar with it. She's a Registered Nurse and knows of the programs ins and outs. She was actually quite excited for me that I've found something that might work for me. She herself ate a bowl of black bean soup as we shopped at Whole Foods. She commented, "I don't have food hang ups. I eat what i like. Mostly raw. Once a month cheese. Once a month sardines. Often cooked beans. I love cooked vegetables." Susan seems to understand how to live a mostly raw life with no guilt, good health and come out of it smelling like a rose.

I'd never considered such a venture, honestly, until I began working with her. And now that i'm smack dab in the middle of experimenting with it, i have a hard time seeing it's negative side. Ultra Low fat and comforting beans and cooked veggies seem to promote weight loss and seem to be very healthy for my chronic reflux laryngitis. I've been taking the Betaine HCL again and that seems to be helping the little funny feeling in my belly.

Susan intellectually understands the positive reasons for eating raw, something about how cooked food affects the white blood cells badly... Uy, i've never been very interested in science or nutrition to tell you the truth.

But, she accepts the emotional reasons for eating healthy low fat cooked (it's comforting), and also actually considers it healthy and believes it is STIMULATING to the immune system. People like Matt Monarch who are so pure, long term raw foodists, can get physically ill from cigarette smoke or from anesthesia. They're almost too pure.

Anyway, not everyone understands, though. I totally get that. For 3 years almost i didn't touch cooked, well, not because i thought it was unhealthy, but because i feared for my ability to control it. But, you know what? I've been doing pretty well this past week. I'm encouraged! And this little low cal healthy way to receive comfort and sustenance has become over this last week something I value and enjoy. I've experienced weight loss, comfort and much improved Reflux Laryngitis by eating ultra low fat saltfree whole natural foods. What the heck is so wrong with that?

In terms of 100% raw, it's "BAD", ooooooohhhh, but in reaction to what the rest of the world is eating, it's "ULTRA HEALTHY." Who really decides what is HEALTHY. It's so subjective.

In fact, i honestly don't even see how the majority of raw foodists cannot recognize that salt and almost fat free beans, potatoes, cooked veggies are actually 'TRANSITION FOODS" to a raw diet.

Nowhere on any transition diet have i ever seen raw pie and raw pate's, etc...

So a transition diet actually ranks HIGHER than a GOURMET raw diet!

Speaking of reflux, I sang last night at choir rehearsal marvelously...without even having to warm up! That's the power of low fat for me. The problem with low fat 80-10-10-style was that i couldn't wait to go OFF of it! With the Fuhrman program, the hot soups offer comfort in a ultra low fat form that feels like i could stay on indefinitely. Isn't it healthier to lose weight in a way that makes me feel good, than to stuff myself with nuts stuck at the same weight unhealthy weight, forever? I was really beginning to feel hopeless about ever losing any more weight. I told my friend, Jan, on the phone yesterday, "I feel like i could take this...all the way!" After all, Dr. Fuhrman's patient, Rebecca, did it! She's lost 330 lbs eating fruit and veggies and beans. Why can't i lose my next 100 lbs doing that???

There are some possible negatives to reintroducing cooked foods into my diet, though. Susan asked me if i'd been experiencing any more mucous than i had been as a raw foodist. I had to admit that i had been clearing my throat a lot, but that i wasn't sure if it was due to the cold i was just getting better from, or the body's reaction to cooked food. The only way to know, for sure, she said, is to go back to 100% raw...and to see if it clears up, and then to try the soups again. I'd have sure evidence, and i'd be able to make a firm determination for myself which was the best way to go.

Miss Meredith is sending me some raw gourmet treats with just that hope in mind, that they will help me to return to 100% raw. Other folks have reiterated their worry for me and hope that i go back to 100% raw as well. I think they understand raw differently than i used to. I never did raw for the 'living food' side of it. I did raw to lose weight and to lose my obsession with food. When weight loss stopped as well as obsession continued, it felt natural to look for another alternative.

Well, my cooked plans will be thwarted in a few days. My little raw package from Miss Meredith will arrive on Wednesday, or Thursday at the latest. But honestly, I'm a little scared about my ability/willingness to go back to 100% raw with gourmet raw high fat salted food, knowing how my body, compulsion, and weight react to it. I'm honestly SCARED about it. I've never been able to control myself with these foods AND lose weight. I've really been enjoying not having to worry about portion sizes or moderating intensely stimulating food. This little departure of the Fuhrman program has seemed like a lovely little Oasis, a way to eat comforting foods in large amounts, but STILL lose weight.

We shall see if the mucous clears up, if i lose weight, if i can control myself.

Yes, we shall see! I will definitely keep you informed!

Monday's Food:
Breakfast: big green smoothie with 1/2 giant tub of baby romaine in it
Lunch: 2 apples, 2 bananas
Dinner: Dr. Fuhrman soup
Snack: 1 apple, 1 cup Dr. Fuhrman soup

3 things i did to get back on track: 1) used a ton of greens in my smoothie 2) snacked on fruit until dinner 3) drank a good amount of water today

3 things i love about me: 1) that my singing went well tonight at choir rehearsal 2) that i looked cute in my outfit today and Susan said how pretty i looked 3) that i made a good soup tonight with lotsa veggies and greens!

Goal for today: dishes, walk, meet with mom to help her chose colors for the walls.

xoxox michelle joy