Saturday, November 21, 2009

DAY ELEVEN - Michelle & Meredith Support Club!


Just a few quick words this morning!

I've had two scrumptious meals from Meredith's pure pleasure package and am going on day 3 of all raw. Having her treats here is certainly making THAT easier.

Work yesterday was challenging, however. Food is just daily an issue with me. Sometimes i am focused enough to overcome the temptation. Other days i'm weaker. Yesterday was not disasterous as some days have been, so that's good at least! I did compulsively snack, though, and that always makes me feel like a failure. I wish i could find definitively something that worked, always.

I awoke very emotional, physically needy and hungry, weepy. Cliffy awoke wanting solitude, quiet, space so he could think. He is being sweet and nurturing to me NOW so it feels nice, but earlier i felt....emotionally abandoned. I think it's just a part of my personality to want physical intensity. And i think it's just part of his personality to need mental intensity and space.

I always think of dogs and how different they are. Some are so needy for affection, other dogs want you to leave them alone. Sometimes we feel so incompatible, and then it all gets patched up and there's a lotta love.

Food fills that void sometimes for me. But i promised i wouldn't overdo Meredith's treats and i haven't. But it's tempting!

I always talk about it: salty fatty things just appeal to me. I can't seem to help that either.

Being bloated today from salt at work yesterday, too, and knowing i didn't "do good" with my food makes me feel bad about me.

There's something about needing to be in control of my food that makes life managable for me. When my food is in control i feel alright, good. Like how my mom is when the house is in order. She just needs that.

More later. xoxo michelle joy

1 comment:

Swayze said...

Hi Michelle,

I cannot recommend highly enough Gloria Arenson's book Desserts is Stressed Spelled Backwards for your binge eating troubles. It is an absolutely awesome read. The combination of her immense insight into eating disorders with the use of EFT throughout the book is phenomenal.

And while she does mention diets and how they don't work, this is not the focus. I follow a low fat raw vegan diet and yet the book worked wonders for me and my bingeing issues. I was finally able to discern that I do have emotional issues and that I can take steps to solve them that do not involve eating.

You can download it for just $10 or purchase the hard copy for $18 or so at or on Amazon.

Good luck to you,

Swayze :)