GOOD ENOUGH!!!

Hiya Ladies,

I had an inhome cooking session tonight at Stephanie's house. Stephanie is an Arnolds Way customer who i know from one of my classes. So, I go to people's homes and cook food for them. Usually i un-cook, but since Stephanie desired 'high raw' instead of raw, i cooked her some wonderful soups: lentil, veggie and mexican black bean. She was amazed how well everything came out tasting...without ME having to taste. When you know how to cook, you just KNOW. You have a sense.

And, the secret is also the 5 tastes.

I also showed her how to make a basic raw 'mayo' that can be used as a dressing for a myriad of salads. Tonight we made the 'mayo' an asian variety. I call it THAI DRESSING.

The recipe is something like this:

THAI DRESSING
In a vitmamix, blenderize until creamy:
- 1/8 cup agave
- alittle less than 1/8 cup nama shoyu
- 5 slices fresh ginger
- 5 cloves garlic
- 1/3 lb. cashews
- 3/4 cup water
- 1/8 cup olive oil
- juice of one lime
-a little less than 1/8 cup apple cider vinegar
-1/2 tsp real 'red chili' powder or cayenne

Try it and let me know how it comes out! I think those are the proportions we used. To DE-ASIAN it, use celtic salt instead of nama shoyu and leave out the ginger. That makes a fabulous dressing for just about ANYTHING.

The 5 flavors: When i talk about the 5 flavors, do you know what i mean?? I'm curious...let me know if you know what the 5 are...and i'll speak about them more in another post!!! As long as you use the 5 flavors when making savory dishes...everything always tastes delish!!!

I followed my hunger today and was dissappointed when i was NOT hungry AT ALL when i stopped by Arnolds Way. But, listen i did. So i ordered nothing. Good job!!! On my way home from cooking at 10p.m., i was finally hungry. So, i listened to myself. Boy, that feels nice! At 10pm, I enjoyed my food and it did NOT turn into a binge. I was being GOOD to me by honoring myself and my desires. So if it was a little late and a little fattier and saltier than 80-10-10 demands, OVERALL i'll be reducing fat and salt when i no longer BINGE. Don't you think that's SANER??????

I can't tell you how HARD it is to keep up being so strict.

You know, when i was a little kid my mom used to hide food from me. My brother was skinny so she bought HIM Chef Boyardee Raviolis and Krimpet Tastycakes and Potato Chips. Me she bought carrot sticks and celery. And she hid Ricky's food all over the house so i wouldn't eat it. So what do you think i did??? I went searching ALL OVER THE HOUSE...found his food...and ate it up. Then i got punished for being 'bad.'

Something in me says that if my mother hadn't hid food from me, my relationship to food might not be as disordered as it is.

Where was the trust? Where was the instruction?

Well, now i have to do the self-parentling. And in allowing myself to just eat what i want (raw), i feel good, whole and heard tonight. I feel like a good parent. Having to say "NO YOU CANT HAVE THAT" all of the time to my inner child makes her very unhappy. Like, what did she ever do to deserve THAT??? I make her happy by recognizing she's hungry and stop feeding her when she's had enough. Bad self parenting is shoving food in your inner child's mouth when she's NOT hungry. "SHUT UP KID AND EAT THIS." Or when she's hungry telling her she can't have what she wants.

Nah, something about this feels RIGHT. HEALING.

I sure hope i can keep this up. I LIKE this easy going way of being.

Extremes are not fun. Back and forth and back and forth. It's exhausting.

If i never lose another pound, at least i'll be more.....INTEGRATED, happier and less chaotic about food. I think THAT in itself is a terrific goal. Forget the scale.

I can't wait to walk tomorrow. The more i walk, the more my body craves it.

The more i eat in a joyful way food that i really love, the more i want to eat this way and have that be GOOD ENOUGH.

I'm good enough...just the way i am!!! The more i accept that, the easier eating becomes. It's not about losing weight, but about giving me JOY. Pure raw joy!!!

xoxox michelle joy