Sunday, October 18, 2009


Morning, Ladies,

If you're in the Philly area and are interested in RAW HOLIDAY TRAYS and PIES or in IN HOME RAW COOKING LESSONS or WEEKLY FOOD PREP, please think of me. Also, I give SINGING LESSONS and am accepting new students now. For HOLIDAY TRAYS, please scroll down a few posts.

Hope you are all doing well! I'm feeling a little sleepy on this rainy dreary Philadelphia morning, but i have to get up and crackin' soon, i have a busy day today!

I performed last night at a private open mike night party and was very well received! I sang "Summertime", "O mio babbino caro", Carmen's "Habanera" and "Cheek to Cheek". I was more nervous than usual due to the new singing technique i'm learning and experimenting with and practicing, but, i'm thrilled to report it's working! Singing felt easier than ever and Cliff said i sounded "freer, fuller, more effortless, beautiful!" I'm very jazzed about that.

Unfortunately, i don't get much of a rest until i have to test out the new technique again. I sing a concert TODAY at 2:30p.m. at the Unitarian Universalist House in Mt. Airy, PA. Wish me luck!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Overall, i'm feeling SO hopeful these days about the future of my eating i've started this online stop-binge holistic eating program called "The Breakaway Program," created by a holistic nutritionist and therapist, who healed herself of binge eating and uses her 'scientifically-proven' program to help people heal themselves of binge eating.

The program is broken down into 2 months of daily teachings and assignments. It is not a food program or a food restriction program. It is a program to heal onesself through emotional and mental and spiritual...healing.

The food, says Natalie, the program creator, is not the problem. Food restriction doesn't work and she promises one can stop binge eating by eating any kind of food. Well, what a tantalizing proposition.

However, I am committed to sticking with raw, am thrilled at the prospect of being able to no longer binge-eat gourmet raw, but just ENJOY it! We'll leave the idea of cooked beans and cooked veggies for the future, for now.

The first teaching is on self observation and awareness. Here are some excerpts from the website's first teaching.

It has been said that the key to change is being aware that change needs to happen. I happen to agree with that 100%. You know that you want to change your lifestyle right now from binging to being healthy and feeling good about yourself. That's why you started this program. You know that you want to change because you aren't feeling happy. Your brain is trying to tell you that change needs to happen by sending you feelings. You currently feel miserable, embarrassed, guilty, unhappy etc. and those feelings are your brain's way of telling you that change needs to happen in order to feel good. And isn't feeling good and being happy what we all strive for every day of our lives? Sure it is! Your brain is constantly sending you messages on how to make you feel happy.

There is an inherent part of your brain that will always try to find ways to make you happy but what gets in the way are the little voices in your subconscious mind that act as 'doubt' and try to get in your way of happiness. As a binger your subconscious mind, the part of your brain where your values and beliefs are stored, thinks food can make you happy; albeit temporarily. But the truth is food isn't the answer and thus your brain keeps sending you messages to make changes because it knows that you still don't feel happy.

It sounds almost simplistic doesn't it? Then why don't we listen and just make the changes? Part of the answer to that is that we think we need to make external changes. If we just restrict food, we've made an external change and stopped binging right? If we lock the door to the cabinet or don't allow ourselves to go through drive-though we've made an external change right? But these will never work because the changes are all external and have nothing to do with the reason you are binging. Another reason that we just don't make a change, is that there is an inner war going on inside our head. Half of you is saying, "stop it right this very second!" and the other half is saying, "I feel so terrible and I'm going to eat whatever I want!". Your subconscious mind is battling with your conscious mind and body.

What if we could see what was going on between the brain and the body by just simply watching it? The brain that observes itself, changes itself. What that means is that when we can take a step out of our physical body and look at ourselves from an outsider’s position we can have a different view. We are then temporarily 'observing' ourselves instead of ‘being’ ourselves. It is then that we can see the destructive behaviors, the patterns, and the lack of self-love that we berate upon ourselves.

When you've binged, have you ever felt as though you were "not really there" when it was happening. Almost as though you were a different person, in a trance, and can't remember the whole binge? I remember feeling as though it wasn't really me that I was seeing because the girl I saw was so out-of-control and spastic. I didn't realize my patterns until I tried observing myself from a different standpoint.

When I first started to practice this amazing little trick I could see myself doing those things that were destructive and for the first time I saw it without being judgmental about it. I just simply viewed it. This exercise has been around for many years and is used by psychologists all over the world. Give it a try and see if you can view yourself without judging yourself. Just view it. And don't get too hung up on the exercise if you have trouble seeing yourself from an outsiders position. Just practice and see what you can do with it. Try it for 5-10 minutes at a time a few times a day if you can. You are only looking for patterns and behaviors from a nonjudgmental position. This allows you to become aware of yourself.

The program goes on to explain HOW to self observe. If anyone is interested, i can forward that to you. I think it is HIGHLY VALUABLE and a practice i, myself, USED to do daily. Self observation is really one of the HUGE KEYS to stopping binge eating. I used to a do daily 30 minute exercise in the morning and the evening. And as one gets accustomed with this practice, then practices it daily...all day...watching themselves. Through watching ourselves, our behaviors....change by themselves, without direct effort.

Here is an exerpt from my "breakaway program" journal on the topic of self observation and awareness.

Yesterday at work i was a little more conscious of myself, observing myself a little more, and i didn't lose control as much as i normally do. I was so grateful for this and feel this is a positive step in the right direction. You know, when i am 80-10-10ing i DO this...all day...i HAVE to to stay on it...tremendous FOCUS. But, i've never really applied this 'self observation' when i'm doing poorly! I'm usually too caught up in the vortex of negative thoughts and feelings to step out of myself. But, i suppose THAT is the POINT!

The other fascinating thing here is that Roy Masters meditation (, the one i USED to do 2x daily for ALL about self observation. Through this daily self observation exercise, literally just 'watching my thoughts,' I was miraculously more able to control my behavior. Isn't it the way it is that we most often neglect the things we NEED the most??

I have really gotten out of this practice.

With diet 80-10-10 food i was able to do this successfully, be seriously focused and only eat what i 'should'. With yummy food, i have a terrible time. i get caught up in the frenzy. I hear my head think a thought about food and i follow. No matter if my belly is full or i 'know' i shouldn't be eating. It's as if i've allowed my thoughts to completely take control of my life.

i know from the Masters meditation that THOUGHTS have no power over me. In the meditation, we are taught to WATCH our thoughts without reacting.

In binge eating, i THINK about food and ACT. The thoughts, Masters teaches, are not US. They don't BELONG to us. Our responsibility is just to WATCH them, not to act or REact. You just WATCH them like you're watching a TV screen.

By self observing, i will be disconnecting this most powerful force to THINK and EAT. Eating is supposed to be a reaction to being physically HUNGRY, isn't it?????

xoxoxo michelle joy

No comments: