Adam, My Date Lover, How Could You DO This To Me?

Beginning Raw Vegan Weight: 425

Beginning Blog Weight: 277

Weight Yesterday: 258 3/4

Today's Weight: Exactly the same!

Total Blog Loss: 18 1/4 in 1 1/2 weeks, jesus, pretty awesome!

Yet, still almost 5 lbs to lose by Saturday, to take off in 2 weeks, what i put on in 2 weeks! 23 lbs!!!!

Oh, Adam, we shared such a hot sexy time eating our Medjool dates together, HOW could you do this to me? If i would have KNOWN you wanted to keep me fat and plump for yourself, i would not have started this weight loss blog, so that we could live in 'date' heaven together...for eternity.

Yes, Adam, I know, I, too, want to crawl INSIDE the soft cavernous cocoon of a giant soft ripe Medjool date and stay there contentedly holding you for the rest of my life, but only if you'll help me eat my way out of it, so we could live in BLISS...together, and repeat it over and over and over again!!!

Woe is me, I must say goodbye to dates for today. I think i'll give the rest of those plump succulent fat soft PILLOWS OF LOVE to Cliff to eat. Shhhhhheeeeeeaaaaat, damn, crap, aarrrrgh, that makes me mad!

As if losing zippo was not enough, I woke up this morning miserable, as well. Allergies. I thought raw people weren't supposed to have allergies?????!!! Or get sick? Am i the only one out there who has allergies after 2.5 years raw, and gets sinus infections that last 4 weeks?

Well, soon time for my walk...time to repair, nurse my wounds over an herbal iced tea. At least I'll meet up with my real honey, Cliffy, who is out already on his bike, taking his ride to Kelly Drive and back. Way to go, Cliffy! I'm gonna go get a kiss! From real soft lips...not imaginary ones. (oh, Adam!)

Today's Plan: Today I have a raw cooking job in someone's home, yay! And then i head to my mom's to complete the miserable task of finding the cheapest and most convenient flight to Oregon. EXASPERATION x10!!! The flights are cheaper online, but they have you waiting in 7 hour layovers, arriving 1am in the morning and all kinds of crazy shit like that. Oh, oh, oh! They reel you in with cheap numbers and then after you work up a decent looking flight, you read below in little red letters: 'We're sorry, we are not able to honor the sale price at this time. This flight is now XXXXX' (doubled, of course). *%^D%$*&!!!!!!!

I'm a little p.o.'d this morning. Wish me luck, people, would ya?

Yesterday's Review: On the food front, i abstained from nutritional yeast yesterday wondering if that would help things along, only to go to 'date' heaven with Adam. I was exhausted after my singing lesson and did not walk again. I did not even have a snack last night. (I guess dates are fairly caloric, and i was NOT hungry after dinner).

Look, losing 'O' lbs in ONE freakin' day should be no big deal, but when i was on http://www.rawfoodbootcamp.com/, we used to lose daily, as long as we stuck with the plan. And that plan included NO DATES, NO AGAVE, ONE BANANA, NO NUTRITIONAL YEAST, NO SALT, RAW FRUITS AND VEGGIES, AND THAT'S IT.

Don't you think that would have taught me something? If i want to lose this 23 lbs in two weeks, don't mess with success! Simple is best. If i'm gonna work this hard, i might as well see some good results from it!

After this week when the 23 lbs are gone that i put on so easily in two weeks, hell, if i can put 'em on in two weeks, i can take 'em off in two weeks, i'll cool my jets a little and not aim for such high numbers, and maybe Adam and I could meet more often for a 'date' date :-)) But maybe not 13 of them, in one day!

TODAY'S REPORT:

Pre-Walk: 2 glasses water

Walk: 1 hour, fast tempo, pumping arms. Met Cliff on Main Street. Got a kiss, yummy.

Drink: 1 large unsweetened iced-tea, mango flavor, from Saxby's. I'm a Starbucks-traitor

Drink: 1 large water. Thirsty today! It's 11:33 a.m.....and i'm still not hungry yet. Jeez, those dates really pack a power punch. Eat 13 huge fat dates one day, and you don't have to eat...the next! You know what, i'm going to go check on http://www.fitday.com/ just how many calories one huge Medjool date has. I'm beginning to get a little suspicious. If each has 100 calories, that's 1300 calories right there, eek!

DATE UPDATE: 1 lb of Medjool dates has 1250 calories. I ate almost the whole 1 lb bag. Um, that would explain things.

BRUNCH: "Summery Fruit Bowl" - 1 1/2 cups of sweet red cherries, 2 very small peaches, 2 very small nectarines, pit cup. Cut up the peaches and nectarines, throw the cherries in, pits and stems and all, and dig in, chew and spit to your hearts content.

Snack: 1 1/2 cups sweet red cherries - was starving! Holding me over while I make Cliff lunch! Then i will make myself a green smoothie!

Lunch: "Vanilla Celery Surprise Smoothie": Entire recipe consisted of 2 small heads romaine, 4 bananas, 3 large stalks of celery, organic vanilla extract liquid, 1 tray of icecubes, 3 cups of water. This filled entire Vitamix. I drank half. This was not that sweet, no agave, but really yummy. I was craving celery. I will no doubt drink the other half later tonight if i am hungry.

Dinner: 'Old Time Hamberger Car Binge Turned 80-10-10' - see recipe below.

Snack: leftover smoothie, but wasn't even hungry. Made Cliff dinner and just wanted to join him in eating something. Oh, well, at least I was aware of lack of hunger! Better luck next time actually saying 'no' to food when i'm not hungry!

RECIPE: "Old Time Hamberger Car Binge Turned 80-10-10"

Ingredients:

• 1 car
• 1 hungry raw foodist
• 1 supermarket
• 1 shopping cart
• 2 mangos
• 3 fresh corn
• 1 roll paper towels
• 1 trash bag

Directions:

Go to supermarket good and hungry and irritable. Feel sorry for yourself as you see heavyset people buying fried chicken, cookies, cakes, italian bread. Ask yourself 'What the hell is wrong with me that i can't do that anymore? What would be so bad if i ate that fried chicken?' Stomp your foot and yell at the top of your lungs, 'I hate being raw today!'

Shift your attention to the colorful stuff right next to you. Notice peaceful mood wash over you as your eyes glass over looking at pretty fruit. Peruse the produce isles. Let whatever catches your eye attract you. Get excited as you spot fresh mangos. 'OOOHHHH!!!!' Load basket with 3 ripe mangos. Sooo happy now! What else? Skip over to the corn and hum a jolly tune as you pick out big fat juicy ones! Grin a sheepish grin and cut in front of Gramma in the checkout line.

Get back into your car and have the paper towels ready. Bite directly into ripe mango, scraping mango meat off of skin and discarding skin into empty bag. Let juice drip all over. Bite and spit and munch and moan alot. Eat two mangos, while bopping your head.

Shuck a corn, while licking your lips in anticipation. Throw husk and hairs into trash bag quickly. Eye the corn cob like you would a naked Adam Lambert. Dig your teeth into the crunchy juicy cob looking like some kind of crazed uncivilized savage with corn all over your face. Munch away while asian lady in car parked next to you give you funny 'rook'. Eat three whole corns even though she 'rook' at you like you 'clazy'. Brush corn hairs off of passenger seat, like you used to do to stray french fries. Rub tummy in satisfaction and breath deep sigh of contentment.

This is a meal that has all of the quick instant gratification as the drive thru's used to offer in the old days, but NONE of the guilt.

xoxo michelle joy