Sunday, May 2, 2010


Hello, young lovers,

You're in for a positive posting for today, yay!

But, to just backtrack first... my coaching relationship with Susan fizzled. Not because she's not fabulous and the most wonderfully supportive friend, but because we're working on catering together, and focusing on me AND catering is too much right now. It just wasn't an ideal set-up to begin a coaching relationship, when we have too much on our plate as it is.

My dear friend, Megan ("Megabytes", "Megarooni") offered to coach me, too, but, you know who I ultimately ended up clicking with? ARNOLD. My wonderful, fabulous, sweet and dear boss, Arnold Kauffman. Why have I never turned to him in need before, I don't know. He is so 'there' in a crisis. I feel so BLESSED.

I've been raw for what amounts to a whole day now. And our plan is for me to do 80-10-10 now, strictly - what worked so well for me last summer when I was blissed out walking and losing and blogging happy happy blogs.

I'll focus on green smoothies, eat a simple diet of cut up fruit, cut up veggies, and only a little fat. (10 almonds or 1/4 of an avo or 1 Tbsp of hemp seeds in my shakes). No salt, no oil.

I won't feel sorry for myself because in 90 days I can eat whatever I want. We'll visit that when the time comes.

OKAY PEP TALK - I can do this for 90 days! I feel very motivated! I actually really do. I feel like a burden has been lifted off of my shoulders, actually.

So, this is the plan. I'm forgettting about eating disorders for 90 days. Forgetting about binge eating. Forgetting about deciding if i should eat cooked or not cooked. Everyone I talk to has their opinion about what i should do. And they're all conflicting. Susan said, "It's easy for everyone else to tell you what you should do."

So, I'm doing a 90 day cleanse. Yay.

Whatever I decide to do AFTER THAT will be influenced by how i feel doing THIS. No long term plans. For 90 days I'm taking a BREAK from ME, from my eating disorder. God, it feels good.

I said to Susan yesterday, "I'm not in a state of mind where I can decide about cooked food or no cooked food. I'm sick now. I'm in relapse. What i need to do is go on a smoothie feast. Clean out. Rehabilitate. Recharge. THEN i can decide."

It feels RIGHT.

I've already spoken to Arnold twice. I'm to call him 2x/day to check in. I'm to do exercise daily - walk and swim. And stop eating at 7pm. And eat lots of green smoothies.

This is going to be so good for me. I feel so happy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yesterday Susan and I met with Colin and Bruce about our giant catering job coming up on May 22nd. This is going to be a dinner to celebrate sustainability and community that is open to the raw community and all nature-lovers who care about the earth. The food will be mostly raw. The cost is FREE. The party takes place in Chestnut Hill in Philadelphia, PA. If you'd like to come, please email me. We still have seats available.

After meeting with them, i ate an eggplant parmesan big enough to feed a family of four in Bangladesh. My feet and legs blew up like balloons, like how they were from the Filet 'o Fish weeks ago. That was really pleasant and so worth it (Yeah, right.) What do i have such vivid memories and good feelings about...last summer walking and losing and feeling and looking fabulous? Or my splendid times eating food alone in my car blowing up like a balloon?

Yes, I've blown up like a balloon. I weighed myself yesterday, 307. With all of the water I'm holding, i'm sure I'm 315 lbs today.

The weight is not even important. Just my actions for the next 90 days. The weight will take care of itself.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My new life is starting, has already started. I'm committed and feeling really happy about it. No, it may not be easy every day, but one day at a time, one moment at a time, I can accomplish this. 90 days! Like i'm goin' to REHAB!!!
My body, my mind, my soul....will be so happy for it.

My dear friend, Jan, is doing so fabulously at Bravo, Jan!

Bravo, Michelley!

xoxo michelle joy

1 comment:

Cosmic said...

You've just inspired me, Michelle!

Love and best wishes,