Tuesday, September 7, 2010


Hi Folks,

This bit of info is from our blog-friend, Karen, who i was recently blessed to meet at the Vibrant Living Festival - "There is an OA phone meeting on Monday nights with a raw vegan focus. It's on from 9 to 10 pm Eastern Standard Time. You have to call 712-432-3900 and enter the access code 186262#. I've listened the last two weeks, and it's a small meeting and people seem to be a bit shy about sharing, but I found it helpful to hear people in OA who are raw or partly raw."

This sounds like a great opportunity for support. I wonder if there are live RAW OA meetings??? I'll go!

~ ~ ~ ~

I wrote to D asking for more leeway in the program. Nixed! Here's his reply.



In case of emergencies, eat fruit, only fruit, and nothing but fruit, until satisfied.

How's that?

You don't need something more flexible, you need to follow the plan. Over and over in the past 35 days I have asked you to please allow me to lead, rather than asking me to react to your lead.
Doing it your way got you into this mess. I am trying to lead you out, and you keep telling me you need to do it your way. Michelle, follow me, please.
Don't blame the program when you know your binge only occurred because you didn't follow the program. If you don't eat enough fruit, you will binge. I have told you I don't know how many times, and the story doesn't change.
If you don't eat enough fruit, you WILL binge. Anyone would.

Banana Island wasn't flexible, and it worked best. Now you want flexible.
The learning curve IS challenging, Michelle. You gotta learn how to manage a house filled with food.

If you don't have at least a week's worth of food in your house, you will likely fail at this program.
Running out of food is not an option. Not having enough is not an option. Not eating enough is not an option. There is no plan for this. You will binge.
But you can't live on Banana Island. That is not a healthy alternative.

In case of emergency, eat fruit, only fruit, nothing but fruit, until satisfied.

You are actually considering having emergencies monthly? Sorry, I don't buy it. That is you leaving the door open to fail, to eat the way you always have.
How about planning to succeed?

You created the emergency of weight loss, and you live with the results of the binge.
Always: Think of the Consequences.
Always: Think of the Consequences.
Always: Think of the Consequences.

Nope, I can't lock you in your room and take responsibility for you. You are a big girl, and must do it for yourself.

As for avocado, "a little now and then," I don't recommend it. A little will turn into a lot.
Honest, you are best off currently just not using the stuff. Opening that door will lead to trouble. For now, eat fruit and veg.
Any time you want back on the Island, go back.

Keep me posted,

~ ~ ~ ~


Dr D,

Thank you so much for this wonderful heartfelt and directive reply. Okay, i get it.

Thank you for leading me.

I screwed up again today, making my own rules, and as you already know, they don't work.

I had a large peach when i got up, and about 1/4 of a watermelon a few hours later. For lunch, i went into gourmet raw land thinking 'what could it hurt...i'll take my time in getting back on track my own way,' so i made an 7 banana/cacao/cashews/maple syrup smoothie. The impulse for cooked came almost immediately. Next came the 5 eggs and cheese and bread, and then later a lg order of onion rings, my old favorite, and a huge boca burger and cheese wrap.

Disgustingly full, intensely salt-bloated, i'm disgusted with my impulses that i follow thinking i'm going to get a different result this time, when only the same thing happens over and over again. I think it's going to be "fun" and i end up sick and enormous feeling. I can barely move. This last binge today, i stuffed myself silly. I think i was trying to prove to myself that i need to get back on track, which i do.

Tomorrow i am planning on doing watermelon for breakfast and bananas for lunch. That's as far as i can think. Tonight i'll drink alot of water.

Forgive me for causing you distress. I'm really the one in the most distress now. Physically most of all.

Please hang in there with me. I'm committed to getting back on track...from RIGHT NOW at this very minute.


~ ~ ~ ~

Some things take longer to unravel than you might imagine.

One step forward, two steps back.

Not giving up yet,

xoxo michelle joy

1 comment:

Karen said...

The raw OA phone meeting is at 9 pm eastern time on Monday evenings. I just wanted to clarify the time zone, in case there is anyone here in another time zone who is interested.