Wednesday, September 1, 2010
LIKE THE GOOD OL' DAYS! IN THE GROOVE AND FEELIN' GROOVY!
[I wrote this yesterday!]
I'm really feeling a lot of joy at the moment!
I just returned from a glorious walk in my charming neighborhood of Manayunk, where I live in Philadelphia, and it was so reminiscent of the joy-filled walks i had last summer when i was 80-10-10ing and happy, losing weight, feeling so much hope for the future, and loving the simple salt free low fat raw lifestyle.
Walking, after being on 80-10-10 for a month, is an amazing experience. I feel ZERO muscle pain. Zeo depression. Zero fatigue. I have tons of stamina, lots of strength to climb hills with little effort.
The decision to walk today has become an important priority again. It's like I "have" to, but i also "want" to. SO cool to be back to DESIRING to exercise.
I'm beginning to understand why 80-10-10 appeals to atheletes and why Dr. Douglas Graham works with such high achieving sports figures. I was told Martina Navritolova was on 80-10-10 when she won Wimbleton years ago. You'd think you'd feel like a wiped-out zombie or a wet noodle with no energy on a diet of mostly fruit. You'd think it.
Rather, my personal experience attests to the contrary. This diet really affects your physical ability in a REALLY positive way. I went from feeling like i could barely walk when i was binge eating cooked...to climbing hills again...all within 30 days.
Yes, in the beginning on 80-10-10, i had no energy. (You read yesterday how crappy i felt for the first 25+ days.) And I had a list of ailments. My tounge was coated white, my poops were wierd, colonic-like mealy and watery for days, i had constant dry mouth sometimes no matter how much i drank, i was terribly depressed often and for at least 2 weeks couldn't stop crying, my period was the most painful i've ever experienced, with cramps that felt like labor contractions. But, all of that's cleared!
It seems I'm out of detox for the moment and reeping the benefits of the program, and, wow, wow, WOW. I'm SO grateful I gave it time. Today i feel marvelous. Energetic. Bursting with energy!
I guess everyone's experience will be a little different, but I'm desirous to share that the horrible feelings DO pass. Maybe they'll be back, but i'm so grateful to feel like this today.
I said this before, but i'll say it again - Dr Graham is RIGHT - living for HAPPINESS instead of PLEASURE is so worth it. I deny myself DAILY the pleasure of fat, salt, cooked food...but instead of feeling denied today, I feel so freaking HAPPY. It must be something about the diet...something about how exercise raises your good-mood feelings...and something about self-empowerment.
Just the other day, all i wanted was cooked, but today, I'm happy to be 80-10-10ing. Happily "un-normal" today! Go figure!?
I really had it all wrong during all of those pleasure-seeking binges. What did they ever bring me but misery and horrible physical consequences?
Delayed gratification, SELF DENIAL, SELF CONTROL....is SO WORTH IT.
I marvel I was smart enough to make the decision to contact Dr. Graham. It was the best decision I have made in a long time.
Yes! He is often jerky, cool, and a little harsh and abrupt, but also surprisingly loving and warm and even sweet at times. (I'm getting a little crush on him and had a dream about him naked last night!!!).
People are complex. With time, you see what's really inside. He's alright in my book today.
You know, of course you know, for 9 months, i struggled horrendously and reported it. There really is NO shame in failing and trying and trying and failing and trying...and then surrendering to something you're frightened of...that you've tried once before, even if you're not sure how it's going to go, even if you have to spend money you don't have to do it.
My mother offered to help.
And there's no shame in going after what you want, even if people think it's wrong or radical or unhealthy. I'll confirm for you right now. I don't feel unhealthy AT ALL!!!! In fact, i feel vibrant!
I've gotten many questions about living fat free. Isn't that unhealthy? Actually, today, i eat somewhere between 5-8% fat. The fat comes from vegetables. (How do you think they make vegetable oil???)
One last thing...
I walked today outside in my neighborhood proudly wearing a short tight tank top, which felt shockingly wonderful and FREE-ING! Yes, it exposed my fat-ring laden arms, my back rolls and my floppy belly, but it was warm and I wanted to feel the pleasure of the sun on my skin. And so what!? I didn't care how I looked. I actually "FELT" sexy. I might be delusional, but I noticed several construction men looking at me and not with looks of disgust. Just looking. Okay, maybe they were saying to themselves, "Look at that gross fat girl," but I imagined they were admiring me...and walked with a confident little sway, because I was admiring myself!! I felt great!!! Unattractive people can work a lot of sexual energy and be sexier than some pretty people! It's all how you feel about yourself.
OH! And last night at the super market, i was wearing a pretty sexy outfit that I had performed in. You know, a little cleavage action, pretty make up, nice hairdo. I felt confident! (The performance had gone SO well. So much of my singing was FREE and ringy and resonant!) At the market, still high from the post-fabulous-performance feelings, the strapping young and handsome mocha-colored checker...was flirting with me!!! Imagine THAT?!!!!
God, welcome back, Michelle Joy, to the land of the living!
~ ~ ~ ~
If you're struggling, hang in there. Good feelings, even GREAT feelings are just around the bend!
xoxo michelle joy
Posted by MICHELLE at FREEDOM FROM BINGING at 9:41 AM