I'm eating a banana/blueberry/raw cacao/cashew agave whip as we speak! :-)) I feel proud of myself for having chosen a raw snack tonight when i was hungry, instead of a cooked binge.
Truth be told, some days i feel so hopeless, but today, i had a little more gumption, and discipline in the raw direction won out. I'm happy. Yay!
MORE POSITIVE THINGS:
- Mom is taking positive steps forward! She had a drain removed! The other drains have slowed way down! And they've stopped her anti-biotics! That's all good, meaning that the surgery site is HEALING and the bile is being directed through the bowel and not into the stomach and out into the drains. YAY!
- Mom may get moved out of ICU in a few days!
- I ate 75% raw today!
- I had watermelon for breakfast, sitting on the porch, with Cliffy!
- Last night I had only yogurt and fruit before bed...and no binge!
- I bought more BETAINE HCL, took some last night, as well as my Diatomaceous Earth! They really help my reflux laryngitis (hoarseness from stomach contents refluxing into throat).
- I worked on my new opera, Edgar, by Puccini! It's so pretty!
- I made an appointment for a voice lesson!
- I had a giant green smoothie for lunch today!
- I had two raw corns for snack. Corn is so satisfying! It really took away that "empty" feeling.
- For dinner, i had some of my favorite seitan selections from Whole Foods. (Man, oh, Man-o-schewitz, I can't stand it how much i love that stuff, mmm, mmm!) It seemed like a nice compromise of a day...mostly raw...with ultra satisfying cooked vegan dinner. So far, so good!
- I had bad food thoughts today, and a desire to go out and binge (i was hungry), but I disciplined myself, and didn't listen to those voices, but made sensible choices...like EATING something healthy, instead of continuing the cycle. I guess that's really what it all comes down to - which voice are you going to listen to? - we all have a little ANGEL on one shoulder, and a DEVIL on the other. But, some days, i'm not strong enough, or aware enough to fight off my destructive impulses. Today, i was!
- I got raw connected and wrote a long post at www.RawFoodRehab.com, but accidentally posted it in the wrong section, and it was erased by the Administration! Oh, well. At least, i reached out!
- My cousin's wedding is in 9 days, but i stopped obsessing about losing weight for it! I'll go buy a dress that fits me now and make the best of it. I'm 'okay' just as i am. I accept me, for today, exactly where i'm at. And you know what? When you feel BETTER about yourself...and forgive yourself..., you automatically DO better.
LOVE YOURSELF!! FORGIVE YOURSELF! And just do the best you can.
xoxo michelle joy