FOOD / ACTIVITY Sunday, July 10, 2010
- 1 canister Green Smoothie (banana, spinach, peach, strawberries, agave)
- 2 raw corn on cob, peaches and nectarines
- Whole Foods: seitan, tofu and raw veggies; vegetable dumplings; small chocolate pudding
- EXERCISE: Walk to Whole Foods
I've definitely been able to fall into a little pattern here. I had another 75% raw day, and feel good about it.
Mornings are tough, though, because i awake really feeling shitty. Since i'm doing Betaine and D.E., and eating much more raw, i must be in a little detox here.
I've been re-reading The Diet Alternative by Diane Hampton, which was recommended to me by one of my blog readers. It's a Christian book, and i'm Jewish, but let me tell you, this is THE BEST book i have EVER read on the binge eating and overeating experience and how to conquer it.
No wonder i could only ever get so far with my weight loss. I was STILL binge eating (on raw). I switched the types of food I ate (raw), but was still a 'glutton,' turning to food constantly, instead of turning to God.
Hampton really understands the dynamic of the binge eater, because she was herself one, many, many years ago - an uncontrollable one for so long, but she's been "FREE" of all food obsession now for 3o-some years. She doesn't eat diet food. She doesn't count calories. She doesn't deprive herself of all her favorite foods. She lost all her excess weight.
Sounds like heaven. So how did she STOP binge eating???
Hampton realized that eating over her emotions - sadness, anger, lonliness, boredom - was not only a 'sin' (in christian terminology), but it didn't work. (Hampton refers to the voices/feelings after the binge as "condemnation.") The powerful voices telling you that you are a fuck up and will never get free of this and might as well eat everything, and the depression and hopelessness, blah, blah...were actually the voice of Satan. Call me crazy, but I can see that.
Giving into binge eating becomes giving yourself OVER to sin...to Satan. I can totally understand that. Because that is EXACTLY how it feels. Completely OUT of your control. Doing and Eating things you don't even WANT to, feeling like the lowest human on the face of the earth. And then wanting to do it all over again!
There are many bible quotes in the book that make total sense. If it weren't for the antiquated language, you would say, 'man, that guy knows what he's talking about!' It's pure and simple wisdom.
After re-reading most of her book, I agree now, that binge eating is EXACTLY like being an alcoholic, or a gambler or a drug addict. The 'sin,' or 'disease', (how ever you want to look at it) can only truly be remedied by spiritual healing, just as so many in AA will attest to. Seeking God for AAers to stop drinking is the key.
To end binge eating, Hampton asserts a simple plan of self-denial. If we usually eat 3 meals a day, deny ourselves one as a 'gift' to God. If we usually eat 2 helpings of food, deny yourself one as a gift to God. If we usually binge in the car, don't eat in the car, as a gift to God.
Sewing these 'seeds' to God (gifts) will not only heal us, but create other positive changes and outcomes in our lives, ala, 'the Secret.'
We then have to learn to fill our time with other activities than eating, and TURN TO GOD when we feel powerful emotions.
In fact, we have to turn to God first thing every morning for spiritual food way before we ever eat. I can really get down with this. It really makes sense to me. I only ever DO well with food on the days that i have really 'purposed' to in a very deep soulful way.
Hampton talks about how 'dieting' and 'trying' to lose weight without the God connection will always fail. I've had many, many experiences with that lately. I try, 'whiteknuckling' it, and it just doesn't work.
But, if we turn to God, we can do anything...one day at a time.
Last night, i offered my bedtime snack as a gift to God. It wasn't easy, because i was hungry. But, i felt the hunger pangs, and soon, they left, and I fell asleep.
Ideally, Hampton says that eating 2 meals a day is the ideal way to eat well and lose weight. I see the wisdom in that. Eating so frequently, little tiny diet meals, when i was on Weight Watchers didn't work. I was always still obsessed with food.
For today, i'm going to say the little prayer that Hampton has in the book, asking God to direct my steps and telling him that i'll give up food today for 'righteousness,' to be closer to Him, and to be better and healthier. I'll give up my bedtime snack again, today, but keep up the rest of this routine. It seems to be getting me in a groove - fruit in the morning, green smoothie later, then raw simple whole food snacks (whatever i have at home to take to the hospital, lately it's been raw corn and summer fruit), a nice vegan or veggie meal for dinner and that's that.
In overcoming the spirit of gluttony by turning to God, i won't ever have to have a life of just 'managing' my weight or 'managing' my binge eating. I'll be free.
I know this won't come without significant warfare and battle on the spiritual realm, but that's the kind of fight that is necessary to become victorious.
xoxox michelle joy