Thursday, March 18, 2010

Over The Hump!


I had a MUCH better day yesterday. I practiced my opera quite a bit and had the rehearsal in the evening, which went much better than expected. I did well. I have some sticky points to go over, but all in all, "well done," said the accompanist of my work.

I was surprisingly CALM yesterday. The nerves/anxiety/agitation of the days before were gone. I suppose i faced my demons? I worked on my opera, and eating was not an issue. You see? The out-of-control eating is a symptom of something larger eating ME. Just a little work, and oila', binge eating, gone.

I ate when i was hungry yesterday and had a great raw food day. Yay.

I do, however, have a COLD!!! I am KICKING myself for letting myself go without E3LIve for like a 1/2 week. Why didn't i just make the drive to Arnold's to pick it up??? Even if i overdid it with raw chips and raw fudge and lots and lots of fatty raw a row...the E3Live was keeping me WELL. I wasn't sick a DAY on it. Immediately without it, i felt a difference. HONESTLY. I felt ACHEY.

Now, i have to perform on Saturday and i can only hope that I will be okay.

Mom is doing great.

She is, however, having some issues of food sometimes "coming up" on her, of her burping up food or feeling heartburn. We're trying to figure out what does it to her. I can go into a long and drawn out thing about that, but i'll save that for another day.

The sun is shining again in Philly.

If it weren't for my cold, i'd say i feel pretty good, pretty happy, and proud of myself for coming through last night at my rehearsal so well. All i needed was a little WORK. Why i resist that sometimes, i don't know. I get so overwhelmed, anxiety, start freaking out, start eating, don't stop eating, go shopping to get more food, eat more, vegitate, procrastinate. Am i the only one who does this? Can anyone relate? STOP THE INSANITY!!!

The one downside about last night were a few of the other singers. They are, how should i put it?...not good. If that doesn't convince me that i should be pursuing opera on a higher level, i don't know what will. It will be hard to invite people to the opera knowing the main person i am singing with does not sing in key, in rhythm, and sounds like an Andrea Bocelli wanna-be with a bleeting goat vibrato and ultra high larynx (singing people might know what that means). It doesn't sound good. Maybe he will get better. There was one singer who was just lovely and i drew much, much pleasure from listening to her and singing with her! After the rehearsal it was mutual admiration club for the both of us. I am so pleased to have found a kindred spirit, a lovely musical polished singer. Do i sound like a jerk? I don't mean to be, i just enjoy what is GOOD. And the music, Donizetti, is just SO gorgeous, so i thoroughly enjoyed just enjoying the music.

I'll just do my best and that'll be that.

Today's a work day. It would be best for me to keep my eating on the lighter side since i have a cold and have to sing on Saturday. I'm fearful writing that because i'll do the opposite now! Wish me luck.

xoox michelle

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