the truth of the matter is - she's eating a living foods diet for the last 6 days, and the easily digestable foods have been slipping through the obstruction easily. if she tries to eat a peice of chicken, she's in excrutiating pain.
nevertheless, after the dr visit, i was beyond elated. mom is not that sick! NOTHING the living foods diet can't handle! a polyp, a few tumors and an obstruction? as arnold would say, "peice o' cake!"
mom, however??? she was screaming at the top of her lungs in the car, 'i NEED that polyp OUT of me~! i want the surgery! i'm SCARED!'
the dr said both surgeries are not 'immenent' and that if she waited 'weeks or a few months nothing would get worse.'
i took this info and ran. i managed to convince both of my parents to give me 3 months of this diet with mom. and then she'll finagle herself to get her thyroid and her bowel retested. if she wants to have the surgery then, i said, i will bless it.
please pray that in 3 months God and the diet heal her enough to where surgery is not warranted. please oh god oh god.
you have no idea the sales job i am doing. constantly counseling. constantly. i'm exhausted.
arnold said i could have off work to take care of my mom.
THIS is really hard work. i'm mentally exhausted. i'm chief chef. i'm psychologist. i'm living foods counselor. i'm coach. 24/7.
looks like cliffy and i will be calling 'chez schulman' our home for the next 3 months!!! [here's cliffy, me, mom, dad and brother, ricky last year out to dinner.]
i said, "mom, what do you expect??? you PAID for my education at Optimum Health Institute for 8 months so i could change, but i saw hundreds of people coming there to go on a healing diet to get rid of cancer and tumors and every disease under the sun. now i work as a raw chef. i lived as a raw vegan for 3 years. i see healings daily at arnolds way. this is MY viewpoint. how can i not tell you what i know? do you think i want to kill you? i love you. i know how you suffered in the hospital last time. if you can avoid surgery, i think you should. this is how i'm going to direct you because this is what i believe. the dr. knows how to cut things out. he will send you home with less body parts and not ask you to change and you will be constantly sick and suffering. THIS way, you will heal yourself naturally and will not NEED surgery. do you really WANT to have surgery? don't you remember how much pain you were in last time that you wanted to die???"
my mom has chronic excrutiating pain in her back since a peice of bone which broke off in her back was removed, leaving her in pain daily.
i even went as far as saying, "mom, why do you think you adopted ME?" she looked at me like i was nuts. "because god knew i needed to save you."
"oh, yeah," i also threatened her, "i'm moving back home if you want to do things your way, mom. why am i spending so much time, rearranging my life and cliff's life, if you're going to listen to them instead of me? i'm not going to waste effort on you if you're not willing to change."
i am profoundly influencing her and it not only feels good, SHE feels good.
okay, so maybe my tactics aren't always on the up and up. it is honestly the way i feel. i'm in this 100% and i expect a 100% committment from her. otherwise, i'm moving back home.
what's keeping her hooked is not my intimidation tactics. it's how she feels.
she told the dr, "i changed my diet and i'm feeling better!"
she REALLY is.
gone are the days of being doubled over in pain. of food repeating on her constantly.
and she took two b.m.s yesterday.
oh, do you know what the drs response was when my mom said she changed her diet?
it was wierd~!
my mom said to me yesterday, "you'd better teach me how to make all of this stuff." i was gratified by her interest.
and i absolutely will, but right now, i see my role as one of making the diet attractive and tasty and live-able and comfortable for my mom right now. the more she enjoys the diet, the better. let her get a firm grounding in it before she's asked to take more responsibility. she's already beeing such an amazing trooper.
even at O.H.I., we didn't have cooking class until week 3. too much too soon is overwhelming.
get this! dr. lefton, her gastro doctor, told her, "no, ruth, eating more fruits and vegetables will give you MORE pain. too much fiber! you can't handle that now."
well, dr. lefton, my mother admitted yesterday, "dr. lefton was wrong. i feel MUCH better. not worse."
you can't ARGUE with success.
"why doesn't everyone know about this?" my dad argues.
"MONEY, the ECONOMY," i exclaim. What would happen if all of the drs told everyone to go home and go on a raw diet? they would lose business. the drug companies would lose business. the restaurants would all close down.
there is a vested interest in keeping people sick.
"what will i tell the drs when they ask why i'm not having surgery?" you tell them, i say, 'i will have the surgery. i'm trying something holistic for a month or two, and then i'll have the surgery.' she's got to calm THEM down. if she has it or if she doesn't is besides the point. she needs to get them off her back, first.
my mother always counsels ME about being less intimidated by others. she is SO intimidated by drs.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
okay, you get the point. so mommy and i are going to carry on as we've been doing. yesterday she drank 1.5 green smoothies, she had cut up veggies with sunflower seed pate and a good sized salad with 1/2 avo dressing and a few flax crackers.
i fell asleep before i could ask her how she was feeling or say goodnight!
soon, i'm going to start her on diatomacious earth. it will clear that polyp OUTTA THERE from what i've read and heard. many people at arnold's way are on it and LOVING it. i also brought the E3Live to the house and i'll start her on that soon. it makes you tired at first so i want to not overload her in the beginning.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
UPDATE ON ME
i weighed myself 277 3/4. wow. i think i'm actually doing okay! last i checked i was 282. i like not weighing frequently. this is the first time this week.
this way, i never know what i weigh, am not obsessed with losing or gaining. And i just eat when i'm hungry. i'm also not bingeing.
i'm definitely doing better with my eating, but it wasn't really apparent until i recieved the confirmation of the scale. i think it's been a little over a week and half raw and i try my best to eat only when i'm hungry.
forget carlene jones. THIS is working much better. and this is something i can LIVE with for the rest of my life. and i get to listen to ME. only ME. GOD, how refreshing!
yesterday i had:
- green smoothie for breakfast
- salad with very lowfat sunflower seed pate on it and maybe a tsp of olive oil for lunch
- bowl of mixed nuts in shells that i cracked open myself. good way to limit nuts
- 3 amazing grapefruits for a snack
- salad with avo dressing made with 1/2 an avo
i think that was the bulk of what i ate. it doesn't SEEM low cal or diet. maybe my attitude has changed and i'm attracting weight loss even though i'm eating heartily. it FEELS like a lot of fat....but maybe it isn't???? the sunflower pate has so many veggies in it, and sunflower seeds are much lower in fat than cashews.
in terms of curing my binge eating? i'm doing FABULOUS. i'm eating what i WANT. as long as it's RAW.
my highschool reunion is in october. i'm NOT EVEN going to THINK about it, but just keep listening to my hunger and let that guide me. we're walking daily. not fast because mom can't go fast. real slow. but, i'm not gaining! i'm not even staying the same. i've lost!
and i'll make money selling stuff on craigslist! i received my check for $275 for my 5x clothing!!! time to go in the basement and iron everything for my friend who will receive beautiful 5x clothes in jersey city, new jersey! i certainly don't need them anymore, nor will i ever! amen to that, sister!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
pray for us. send comments. say HI. let me know how you are.
xoxo michelle joy