Wednesday, December 2, 2009

It feels good to feel good!

If you're in the Philly area, don't forget!

SANCTUARY SPA AND ARNOLDS WAY PRESENTS THE RAWSOME FOOD, MUSIC & YOGA FESTIVAL - This Sunday, Dec. 6th from 12noon until about 8 or 10pm at Arnolds Way Raw Vegetarian Cafe' and Education Center, 319 W. Main Street, Lansdale, PA.

I think there is a dance at 8pm. I'll be singing at 2pm and doing a raw food demo at 2:30pm. Call Arnolds Way for $20 tickets 215-361-0116. We're not sure if there will be any walk-in tickets as we are already pretty packed, so call now.

Today i'll be prepping food for the event and Sandy, an Arnolds Way customer, is lending a hand. How nice! Tasting will be kept to the very, very bare minimum.

My plan is to do what i did yesterday. No salt, low fat raw. For a work day, i'll plan salads with a tiny bit of nut butter mixed with water, no salt, garlic, vinegar, agave and nutritional yeast as a dressing (delish); veggie nori rolls, spaghetti with nofat/nosalt tomato sauce, green smoothies, whips. Ahhh, coming home is good.

As you can see, I'm implementing a little restoration so i can look better for the event. My face is full. I weigh 270.5. At the Halloween party i sang at, I was 258. Well, that's pizza and rice and butter and veggie spring rolls and Singapore Noodles for ya.

What i'm doing today may not be a cure for binge eating, but it's a good healthy place to be, and i feel grateful. Looking good makes me feel good. You know what i just realized? Controlling my weight is just as important as controlling my binge eating, if not more, honestly.

Managing my binge eating is what i've been doing all of these years eating raw, and eating spells of lower fat raw have helped to keep my weight from escalating. It's not been a perfect system by any means, but at least i don't weigh 425 again, or even 300, or even 290 or 280.

To make myself feel good this morning, i dressed up for work. I put on a dress, pretty jewelry. Kind of a deflection from the bloated face. Maybe nobody will notice. Actually, i'm sure they will, but gaining weight is not a crime. I feel victorious today instead of ashamed. Thank god for yesterday.

I'm off for a short walk before work because it made me feel so strong and empowered yesterday and i liked that. Feeling like shit and complaining and living in fear and defeat is really not all that fun. This feels much better.

I got dressed in my new walk-in closet room and does THAT ever feel empowering. If i keep this up, heck, i don't know WHAT will be with me, i'll feel so freakin' empowered i won't know WHAT to do with myself!!!

xoxox michelle joy

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