Thursday, June 30, 2011
So exhausted! I worked today. TIRED! And I didn't actually feel that great today. I felt mostly worn out. Maybe it was that 3 mile walk yesterday eve?
I drank a good amount of water today and had some fresh carrot juice. I think i actually DID feel better later in the day, just tired then, not kinda headachey miserable off like i was earlier. I was probably dehydrated.
Arnold was out today so I worked with Ronnie.
I had to close up the store (http://www.arnoldsway.com/), so I had to miss yoga.
Frankly, my feet were killing me too bad for it anyway.
No exercise today as i'd planned daily. But i worked my butt off at work. That's gotta count for something. 8 hours on my feet must burn something up.
Cliff said, "Why do you have to be so black and white? You're exhausted! Give yourself a break. You'll walk tomorrow morning."
I'm just afraid if i let myself off the hook, it'll snowball.
I'll walk tomorrow morning before work. [Here i am at almost 6 am and i will be going out soon! We both awoke very early today.]
I did pretty good with the food at work today! No compulsive eating, wow.
When i was packing the raw bread, i was on guard. I could eat a tray of raw bread in about 10 seconds flat.
It wasn't like a real "diet" day, which i'd planned, like all fruity, but....maybe that's progress???
No binge eating THIS way.
For bkfast, i had some smoothie at home. I was hungry for smoothie again at work, so i enjoyed something leftover. I was very hungry for lunch early. (I get hungry EARLY from exercising!) I made zucchini spaghetti and used our regular sauce instead of making my own losalt lofat version, but only used a very very little bit. It was good and it seemed like an okay compromise. It felt like what i wanted. Better to have a little then. Later on, I had a banana whip. Towards dinner time, i had a nori wrap made with no salt but a little avo and raw burger. I was hungry before we all left, and everyone was hanging out, munching, so around 8:15p.m., i had 1 slice of raw bread with "sour cream and chive dip" on it with lettuce and tomato and carrot and 2 spoons of Megan's amazing potato salad. What a good little meal. YUMMO.
It was heavier than i really ideally would like to eat late, but I was hungry, and i enjoyed, and I was sitting down.
In fact, i sat for all of my meals, except for the banana whip. Sitting down makes eating more of an event.
Oh, I took a few Betaine after that 8:15pm dinner to help me digest. Maybe i won't have reflux in the morning now? [i still do. i'll take more next time.]
My voice didn't feel so hot today. Probably just tired from the 2 hour voice lesson on Wednesday.
Cliff and I are both tired alot from exercising and we're both on edge more than usual. We're a little pissy with each other. That doesn't feel really good. I hope we make up. [We did!]
Oh, yikes. We also have a mouse in the kitchen. It's grown in size over the last few days. It keeps eating the cheese OFF of the trap, while skillfully avoiding the trap. I can't tell you how that little stinker is freaking me out. "Get it OUTTA here!" I was really mad at Cliff for not buying the sticky traps that he promised me he would. We have the traditional ones set up and they ain't working. It's been days and he's still there!
All in all, a good day.
Friday night after work, the Arnold's Way crowd is meeting at HORIZONS, a vegetarian place downtown that is closing this week and re-opening at a new location with a new name.
Looking forward to my raw appetizer, entree and dessert!! They make raw meals, if you call in advance.
If at all possible, i would like to be fruity all day since i'll have an awesome gourmet raw dinner tonight!
xoxo michelle joy
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Hope you are all doing well. Say HI and let me know how you are~!
_ _ _
I'm having a good day!
I went for my singing lesson today! We drove to Trenton, NJ to take the train to my new singing teacher's house outside of NYC.
You know what? He really thinks I can have a professional singing career. He was a professional opera singer in Germany and sang with sssooooo many famous people I know from recordings and the world of opera. This guy is GOOD, in the KNOW, and knows what he's talking about! And says I'm GOOD!
This marvelous confirmation about my talent feels so empowering. (I always knew i was special, aw shucks!) Honestly, admidst all of the insecurity and fear and through the debilitating eating disorder, my talent was always something I wanted to believe was true. Now Arturo is teaching me how to really USE my voice to it's full capacity, with skill. Finally, I might have a shot!
Being this involved again in pursuing opera feels like water to my thirsty spirit. It's as if a part of me was dead when i was lost in binge eating and severe depression and weight gain, just eating and eating. Now, having come out of that dark, black hole, into the LIGHT of raw, of movement, of hope, of singing lessons again, of a possible bright future where all of my dreams could come true, feels inspiring and amazing.
We are working on choosing audition arias! For AUDITIONS!!
_ _ _
After the 2 hour singing lesson, I was cooked! I slept in the car on the ride home! Wiped out!
I got home and felt exhausted for a while and like i'd never recover, but couldn't sleep, slouched dreary eyed in front of the TV, flipping channels.
_ _ _
About an hour or two later, i actually felt refreshed and decided to take a walk in the neighborhood, since it was still light out, and the heat of the sun had retreated and there was a pleasant cool breeze. I felt like walking and I wanted to feel the breeze on my skin. Imagine, a couch potato like me, getting out there 7:30 at night.
I walked with no real expectation of where i'd go. I didn't know how much energy I'd have.
At the beginning of the walk, i felt weak, but I continued. As i continued on, I felt like continuing on! I didn't have tons of energy, but enough to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
_ _ _
Some college kids drove by and shouted at me out of the car window. They startled me and I stopped scared and snapped my head around to hear. "What were they saying?" Oh. They were making fun of me. :-((
People can be so cruel. There am i trying to do something good for myself. What immature idiots.
You know, fat people have it bad. The world wants you to be skinny and they think treating you like shit will get you there. People make fun of you and stare at you and don't give you jobs you deserve and treat you worse than other people.
I decided to be bigger than them and to not react or let it get me down. I kept walking, but still, it hurt.
Eh, i couldn't stop thinking about it.
I walked even farther, like, on purpose, because i could, so as to say, "You see, you idiots, i'm doing something good here. I am worthy. And you're not!"
The fat have become bitter. But we gotta let that go.
_ _ _
I walked all the way up to Ridge Ave, wow. Then down Ridge, and back home. A few minutes after the shouting thing, i'd forgotten about it already and was just walking because it felt good and because i had the desire to and because my legs could do it and because i had a goal in mind, the top of the hill, Ridge Ave. That was some hell of a walk uphill! Like the old days, my long walks in Manayunk, to the market and back.
_ _ _
It occurred to me what a wondrous unity of mind and body walking is. The rhythm of my legs is very meditational. Listening to the birds, looking at the flowers. I'm at peace when i get into a good rhythm. The movements of my legs taking me on the way, and the thoughts in my head are centered on what i'm seeing, and my ears are hearing what i'm hearing. I'm at peace. I'm united. I'm one.
I'm not disjointed, eating fried chicken, but secretly upset about something else. No, no, i'm not at peace then.
This? This walking? THIS is peace.
Don't let the fried chicken fool you. You will NOT feel better afterwards. You will feel worse.
Walking? You THINK you'll feel worse afterwards.
You know what?
You'll feel BETTER!
THIS IS PEACE.
_ _ _
At first, there are always the resistant thoughts, but they dissappear the longer you go.
Then you enjoy. You are giving yourself such a TREAT to walk out in nature! Fuck those kids. They were driving. They didn't know what they were missing.
_ _ _
I walked through the park. Some old bums made my day, and waved hello to me, "Hey darlin!," said the one. The other, "Hey, baby." The third, "How ya doin', sweetheart?" I greeted them warmly.
THere is some goodness still left in the world. Smiling, happy bums. Who woulda thunk it?
_ _ _
Raw has returned me to a level of fitness i never thought i'd have again, this ability to walk, and walk, and walk. I feel like i'm tapping into this strength that was always there, i just couldn't access it.
I'm so glad to be off cooked.
I'm back on the beach, as Valerie would say. "Why do you wanna be out there in the waves, floundering around? The beach is safe."
- - -
I felt powerful with singing and with exercise today.
I am powerful. I just don't always act like it.
Arturo, my teacher, listened to my singing from the concert on my recorder. I wasn't very happy with the outcome. He said, "Oh, it's not bad, but you're singing with half of your voice."
Isn't that just like me to have all of this strength, all of this power, and to not USE it.
What am I afraid of? Being too fabulous?
_ _ _
My legs twitch after walking. My feet have twitchy spielkes. They want to move and i shake them to relieve the nervy feeling. Spielkes is a yiddish expression that means jumpy. The nerves are coming back to life and want to move. I used to get this in OHI. Sometimes i'd have spielkes so bad that i'd lay in bed just kicking my legs around to get myself to sleep. My body was tired but my legs were awake!
If i'd not gone for a walk tonight, i'd have told you i didn't feel like it.
Until i got going.
Then i felt like it.
God we are such chickens. What we can do if we only push ourselves.
It was good of me to set the goal to exercise daily.
_ _ _
Tonight i have yoga. I'm returning to yoga again and feel happy for it. I considered myself too fat and bloated and took a long sabbatical. Being raw again, and a little lighter, i'm excited to see if i can do the stretches and poses better. On cooked, i had no energy and could honestly do very little. It was more than disconcerting. It was downright depressing to go week after week and just lay there because i couldn't participate. Hopefully, tonight will demonstrate that i'm back on track in more ways than one.
_ _ _
Once you go raw, your body wants you to stay raw. You crave it.
Once you start to exercise again, your body propels you forward. It WANTS to move.
It's a pretty awesome feeling.
5 weeks raw...and counting!
_ _ _
For bkfast, I had chocolate raspberry banana smoothie with Cliff.
At the train station, we snacked on nectarines.
In the train, i was so hungry, i had 2 homemade chocolate macademia nut balls. They felt like a good match to my intense hunger.
After the lesson, we snacked on grapes which didn't cut the intense hunger, but we were excited to head to CALIFORNIA TORTILLA BOWL on Roosevelt Blvd, our "LINNER place" for after the lesson, so we stayed STARVING until we got there. It's a nice reward to reward starving with a yummy dinner!
I get the plain Southwestern salad, no tortilla strips, no corn, no cheese. It comes with a little guacamole. I get extra on the side, and salsa for my dressing.
I brought soaked germinated pumpkin/sesame/sunflower seeds with, which i sprinkled on my salad. If i hadn't, i'd have still been STARVING. I felt very satisfied afterwards!!
_ _ _
The amount of fat i ate today seemed in accordance with my level of hunger. I'm not sweating it.
_ _ _
I popped 2 Betaine HCL digestant tabs after linner because my tummy felt a little funny. I think it was all of the jalapeno! The enzymes will help me digest.
_ _ _
Later, i had 1/4 of a medium watermelon. Was good!
- - - -
I'm losing weight again.
I'm NOT weighing myself. I don't want to torture myself. Better to not know and just think positive thoughts about losing. I can tell in my clothes.
When i've weighed myself in the past and it's not as much as i thought i should lose, i give up and binge. Like that's gonna help me lose weight FASTER?
NOT weighing is MUCH BETTER. I'm more productive! I KNOW that inch by inch, walk after walk, raw after raw, i'll lose.
I'm choosing FAITH.
The exercise is really working! I know i'm on track. My clothes are baggier.
I'm not believing those asinine messages I send myself that say exercise won't make a difference.
It does. A HUGE difference.
_ _ _
It dawned on me that Dustin Kellogg, who lost over 100 lbs http://www.dustinkellogg.com/ , and who ate gourmet raw to do it, must have been burning alot of calories during this weight loss, even though he did not formally exercise. He still did his tattooing, which burns up mental and physical energy, he paints murals, very physical. He draws and paints. He revamped the bus into the raw bus. All of that carpentry and construction. He burned up a lot of energy, even though he may not have been doing "sit ups" and "jogging in place."
It finally dawned on me that if i want to eat moderate amounts of raw fat and indulge in gourmet from time to time, and enjoy it, and still lose weight, i'd better get moving.
And i couldn't be HAPPIER about it! I feel so empowered! I can DO this! I'm losing weight! Eating fat! Woot, woot!
_ _ _
No more raw deprivation diets. NO MORE! They only lead to binge eating.
I haven't binged in 5 weeks! This is something SERIOUS people. Gone are they days i used to blog about losing 30 lbs eating no fat, and then gain it back in 4 days eating 7 bags of Brad's Raw Chips, a block of raw cheese, 1/2 raw pie, etc... all in one sitting.
Those days are GONE.
_ _ _
At work last week, i did get into trouble, snacking WAY more than i should have, but it still was not as bad as the worst times i've had at work, where i am finished work and i'm devouring bags of nuts and containers of raw cheese and raw bread on the ride home.
_ _ _
Today and tomorrow at work, i ask the Lord, to help me keep LIGHT.
Friday night, we have a marvelous celebration at HORIZONS CAFE in Center City before it closes! 13 of us Arnold's Way folks are all gathering together. I pre-ordered a raw meal for myself, and two others who are strict raw foodists, and I am going to "earn" my gourmet raw treat with 2 light days at work!
_ _ _
I drank a good amount of water today.
I took 3 bm's this morning! Same yesterday. Something is really moving in me.
_ _ _
Exercise helps weight loss on raw, too, because it helps move the food through your system faster. When you weigh in, or put your clothes on, there's less food in your gut weighing you down or plumping you out! DRINK WATER!
_ _ _
Ah, well, those are all of the thoughts for today.
How i enjoy sharing myself with you.
Wishing you a wonderful day!
xoxo michelle joy
Monday, June 27, 2011
Today is Wednesday. I have a voicelesson outside of NYC today! Wish me luck!
Today is my 5 week raw anniversary! Yay!
Yesterday i walked 2 miles and the day before i walked 1.5 miles and swam for 20 mins.
I can TELL i've lost weight. My clothes are fitting me better!
Earlier in the week, I made such a GREAT lunch and wrote down the recipe for you. It was meant to be low fat, but i could have left out the olive oil to make it lower fat.
I may be delusional, but i think it STILL contained less fat than i usually put into my "splurge" dishes, since i used soaked and germinated seeds, which contain less cals and fat than nuts in general and then there is the 40% reduction in fat when they are soaked. Soak your seeds and nuts, people! Why do you want the xtra cals and fat?
It was a nice uniting of flavorful with lower fat and lower salt, but "felt" like a splurge.
I ate it with attention when i was hungry and couldn't even finish it! I put the leftovers in the fridge for another time, which i enjoyed the other night.
P.S. Soaking seeds overnight also increases their digestibility because it removes the enzyme inhibitors on all nuts/seeds!!! In other words, by adding water to seeds, they 'think' they are planted in the ground and getting rained on, and they change their form from a dormant seed into a living being...germinating and ready to grow! Enzyme inhibitors keep them sleeping. Water wakes them up. Directions: Fill a bowl with water, add nuts/seeds, soak overnight, leave out on counter or in fridge. In morning, drain and rinse. Then pop them in the dehydrator on teflex and dry on 105degrees until dry, usually a few hours to 1/2 day to dry thoroughly. Store in airtight containers in the cubbard.
SOAK YOUR SEEDS AND NUTS TO HELP WEIGHT LOSS!!
CREAMY CRUNCHY CABBAGE SLAW
Lower fat, Lower salt, but absolutely delicious and flavorful! I so enjoyed this!
Hand shred some cabbage very thinly to make about a cup. I think that may be enough for a meal since there are other additions.
In a Vitamix, to create "Mayo", add:
-1/2 cup of frozen or fresh mango
-2 Tbsp of raw vinegar
- 1 Tbsp of herb garlic infused extra virgin olive oil (i made sage, garlic, rosemary, thyme, mint) (optional)
- 1 lg. garlic clove
- 2 handfuls, about 1/2 cup of germinated sunflower/sesame seeds. (I dehydrate mine and keep them stored)
- 1 small handful fresh cilantro
- 1 handful fresh basil leaves
- 3 shakes of curry powder
- 1 shake of ginger powder or a slice of fresh ginger, cut up (this helps it process in the vitamix)
- 2 shakes of coriander powder
1/3 cup water for blending
1/2 jalapeno cut into thin slices
1/4 cup germinated dehydrated pumpkin seeds
1/4-1/3 cup nutritional yeast
a small wedge of white onion
Begin blending "mayo" in vitamix, drizzling water into cream to achieve thickness/thinness desired. I think i might have used closer to 1/4 cup water. This created a thick and wonderful herby light green "mayo"! Pour half onto your cabbage. Store other half in fridge in airtight container for another time.
Sprinkle pumpkin seeds, jalapeno and yeast (for low salt saltiness and cheeziness) over cabbage and toss to coat cabbage evenly.
ENJOY!!! Eat until you are pleasantly satisfied.
xxxoxo michelle joy
I'm contemplating the difference between our minds and bodies being at war with each other, versus our minds and bodies being in peaceful unison together.
Cliff went out for his bike ride yesterday morning. On the way back, he phoned and said he'd be on Main Street in 15 minutes. That was my cue he wanted me to walk and meet him.
I didn't "want" to, but i left the house because i knew i "should" be walking.
Actually, rewind that thought. I first checked my feet and ankles and hands for swelling. Was i too swollen....to be good to myself and walk? I wasn't very swollen...and i decided that meant i passed some sort of a requirment test. I have to feel "just right" to walk. (Well, that means 9 times outta 10, i'm gonna find an out. This need to "feel just right" is a seriously lousy excuse.)
Anyway, the walk to the coffee shop felt surprisingly and refreshingly NICE. What a treat i was giving myself out in the sun with the cool breezes! "I deserve this!," i thought. What a dum-dum I am everytime i don't walk because of some little ache or pain or mental fear. I'm usually not that 'aware' to even 'recognize' it.
When i looked in the mirror this morning, i looked a little swollen in the face, but my pants looked a little looser on me. Hm. What a shockeroo!!! Could i ACTUALLY be losing weight from raw, even though i don't realize i am and am doing my best to SABOTAGE MYSELF????
The confidence that maybe, despite my BEST EFFORTS at RAW SABOTAGE for myself and everyone else who reads the shit i write (sorry!), that maybe raw was actually WORKING despite what i write, gave me a pep in my step and a surprisingly sunny disposition as i made my way to the coffee shop.
Maybe my overeating fat hasn't even really been the problem. Maybe all i've been missing....has been steady movement. Angela Stokes said in the beginning of raw she ate "plenty of nuts," and Victoria Boutenko said, "Eat two avocados a day," in the beginning. I've been so obsessed that i'm overeating fat, that i haven't been able to budge myself from the sofa to move. I've really been doing myself a disservice. If i'd only eat the SAME, but walk regularly, fat's effects would be diminished.
Why didn't this dawn on me SOONER???
Well, i was too busy beating myself up to allow myself to actually enjoy walking and actually allow myself to ENJOY raw fat. So many OTHER people do, like Dustin http://www.dustinkellogg.com/. What the hell's wrong with me?
Cliffy and I shared some herbal iced tea and hand holding at the coffee shop. He left to ride home. He would pick me up after his shower, so i didn't have to walk the hills back home and could continue flat on Main Street to save my knees.
Speaking of which, my knees haven't hurt in weeks. Add that to yesterday's post about the positive changes i've had since going raw again.
Now alone outside of the coffee shop, with Cliff pedaling away, I frankly didn't "feel" like walking anymore and sat there with my tea for a few minutes feeling resistant.
Within a few minutes, my head quieted down it's complaining, so I got up and got moving down Main Street. Within just a few minutes, my body was so enjoying the walk. I was so grateful I hadn't listened to what my deluded head had wanted. How many times to we listen to that shit and believe it?
During the walk, it occured to me that we, those of us with seriously disordered eating, chronic obesity or body image issues...have a real disconnect between mind...and body.
For instance, we eat because our HEAD says "i'm hungry," (even if our tummy never growled and our body doesn't need extra food). Emotionally, we feel needy or empty and we've trained ourselves to grab something to fill an empty STOMACH when what we have is an empty HEART.
Comfort comes in hugs, baths, a good cry, conversation, writing, prayer, meditation, great movies, walks, etc... Not in stuffing our mouths and bellies with food.
It's not really comforting when you can't fit behind the steering wheel in the car because you're too fat, is it?
It's not really comforting when you can't fit in theater seats.
Or wipe your butt in restaurant bathroom stalls because the walls of the stall aren't wide enough for you to spread your legs open.
That's not what i call comfort.
All of that is because we listened to our HEAD instead of what our BODY was telling us.
With every ache and pain, with every burp of reflux, with every joint ache and swelling ache, our HEAD REACTS and says, "I sense pain. Get something to EAT and you'll FEEL better."
What a lie. And we actually listen to it. And do it! Talk about being BRAINWASHED.
No wonder when our head says, "i don't feel like walking," we listen to it. We're so programmed to listen to our NEGATIVE THINKING and to think those distorted thoughts are the REAL US, and discount our bodies needs, even if our thinking is distorted and disconnected from what's really BEST for us and our body. That is fucked up! And we do it everyday!
Yoga is a practice that is supposed to bring mind and body into one wellness.
Whereas an eating disorder, or overeating, binge eating, and not exercising....is a practice that brings mind and body into disconnect mode. With every compulsive bite, we separate this crucial connection for recovery, the unity of mind and body.
Anything we can do to unite the two MIND AND BODY would benefit us.
It occured to me that the meditation i am always telling you about that i learned on http://www.fhu.com/ about 20 years ago is supposed to accomplish just that, bring mind and body together. We sit quietly, we feel the warmth in our hand, we close our eyes and look out of our 'third' eye. We train ourselves to 'observe' our thoughts instead of allowing them suck us in, and we use our hand to bring us back to the present in our mind and body, where we becoming the observer again. With this exercise, we learn to calm our bodies, and allow our conscious mind to reign dominant over our subconscious.
In other words, we learn to control our thoughts, instead of allowing our thoughts to control us.
Why would we want to control our thoughts, you ask?
What good would it do if a fireman was afraid of fire and couldn't overcome his fearful thoughts that the fire was going to kill him? He wouldn't be a very good fireman.
What good would it do a person who was stuck in a depression because of pervasive and constant negative thoughts?
What good does it do an overly fat person to not exercise because they are unalbe to break free of the stifling and sabotaging messages their subconcious mind is sending them, causing them to be afraid exercise is going to 1) hurt, 2) not feel good or pleasant, 3) injure them, 4) not do any good, etc...
Learning to control our thoughts by way of calming the body is extraordinarily helpful in overcoming an eating disorder, where we are literally assaulted with distorted thoughts, distorted body image, distorted beliefs about diet and exercise. Inviting the pure light of God's wisdom into our conscious mind is so healing. And the exercise makes of conscious of our impulses and compulsions, and gives us the supernatural ability to let them go.
Along the same lines, yogic chant and response unites mind and body.
Last night of all things, my girlfriend and I went to hear Krishna Das, the most famous Kirtan singer of all times. He mixes traditional yogic chanting with a Western twist. http://www.krishnadas.com/
Here's one of my famous chants which i sang my heart out to last night. It's an old baptist hymn turned yogic chant. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9bSGGTQarA
Here's a more typical chant using the words "hare krishna". Sting is featured on this one and there's not the typical call AND response on this one, but it is so beautiful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLLAUPS2C1A
Here's a traditional chant and response like we did last night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lQ1oWIQoAo
I can't tell you how marvelous it feels to let go of thinking and just sing from deep, deep down. Yogic chanting is such a powerful mood elevator. The words don't really matter. I'm not worried about being "brainwashed." My brain needs some washing! I'm not afraid of the indian language. I love foreign languages and music, even if i don't understand it, I connect with it on a universal level. The chants are all nice and mean something, but that's not really the point. The point of chant is to just sing with joy and be centered in mind and body. Each time you realize you are lost in thought instead of responding fully with mind and body to the chant, you just remind yourself to come back to being fully present and conscious. An absolutely miraculous experience!
It also occurred to me that how i am lately complaining about too much fat and too much salt and all of that, means that i am letting food control my body again. I am allowing the thought that i want that salty nutty pate' to override what i "know" is best for my body. Disconnected mind and body.
It also occurred to me that how i am complaining about how complicated raw is and how hard it is to figure out what is right for me....is also a distortion. I am not really giving raw a fair shake if i don't exercise or pay attention to the unique needs of my body, by allowing my body's wisdom to guide me, instead of allowing my distorted and faulty intellect control my behavior. I will always lose the war then! I've been practicing faulty raw foodism by not allowing my Spirit Mind to guide my body and behaviors.
As far as exercise goes, i haven't WANTED to exercise BECAUSE i've been "too swollen to exercise." Another in a long line of distorted excuses...that i listen to and BELIEVE.
Through all of these awarenesses, I've decided what i am going to do with my diet and exercise!!! I'm my OWN GURU!:
1). I am going to walk or swim daily even if i don't "feel" like it because i know it is good for me, it makes me feel good, and it will help me to lose weight. I walked yesterday AND swam and it felt challenging, but marvelously empowering!
2.) I will not allow the following excuses to not exercise: (excuses are distorted beliefs that make me feel unable to unworthy to do my body good)
- I overate...
- I'm too swollen...
- I'm too depressed...
- I'm too tired...
- I don't feel like it and it will make me feel bad....
- I won't enjoy it, because....it's too hot, raining, etc...
3.) I am going to continue on my journey of overcoming binge eating by EATING RAW by doing the following:
a.) I will make more effort to ONLY EAT WHEN I AM PHYSIOLOGICALLY HUNGRY and STOP WHEN I FEEL GENTLY SATISFIED/SATIATED
b.) I will make an effort to eat LESS FAT
c.) I will make an effort to eat LESS SALT
d). I will make an effort to DRINK MORE WATER
e) I will make more of an effort to eat soaked germinated SEEDS
f.) I will eat what my BODY wants and make more of an effort to not let my FAULTY INTELLECT control my intake, but my body's own unique desires.
4.) I am going to MEDITATE DAILY, even if only for 1 minute a day. I use my meditation from http://www.fhu.com/, in an effort to CONNECT MIND AND BODY. Kirtan chant and response is also very centering to mind and body.
5.) I am going to TRUST IN GOD and TRUST IN RAW FOOD again. I am going to return to the heart of the SIMPLE BELIEVER. I am going to STOP TRUSTING MY DISORDERED INTELLECT to make decisions for me, and listen to the STILL SMALL VOICE WITHIN, which knows what is best for my body, mind and soul.
6.) It's time to start thinking about REJOINING YOGA CLASS. The excuse that i'm too fat and bloated with water weight seems ridiculous now. Won't it make me ultimately healthier and feel BETTER?
7.) I am going to practice centering techniques before and during and after eating, such as:
a). asking God to guide me to the best meal for my body right now
b). praying over my food
c.) taking all judgement away from food and legalizing all foods, fatty or salty or whatever. My body's innate wisdom and my strengthened CONSCIOUSNESS will lead me to what is right if i allow it.
d). eating slowly and with attention, savoring
e). paying attention to BODILY hunger/fullness, pleasure, joy, happiness and my body's own wisdom while eating
f). Letting go of being attuned to compulsive negative intellectual distortions while eating, before eating or after eating, such as "this is making me fat..."
8.) I am going to begin a practice of AFFIRMATIONS and stop COMPLAINING, such as:
- My body loses weight easily no matter what i eat!
- My body loves to exercise and move!
- I love my body!
- I am in control of my eating!
- I do what is best for my body!
- I trust raw food to cure my eating disorder and chronic obesity!
- I put all of my faith in God!
9.) I am going to the best of my ability NOT WEIGH MYSELF. I am more than my weight.
10.) I am going to fill myself with LOVE and GRATITUDE daily and fill my mind with WHAT I WANT instead of the horrible misery of "what is." ENOUGH COMPLAINING!
And that's it.
This is my new plan!
What do you think????
If you want to join me on a similar path, email me, and we'll create a little group support club and keep each other on track!
xoxo michelle joy
Sunday, June 26, 2011
First off, I stopped snoring!
You should know, before I ever ever went raw, some 4 or 5 years ago, weighing 425 lbs, I used to have sleep apnea and snore so loudly that Cliff couldn't sleep 2 ROOMS away from me without being disturbed. Plus, the apnea would cause me to stop breathing frequently throughout the night. It was scary and i woke up tired.
On my 3.5 years raw, the apnea and the snoring dissappeared!
Now, after my unfortunate hiatus from raw for the last year, yes, the snoring came back, bad, (but not the apnea, thank God. My weight never got up into the 4's again.)
Now, almost 5 weeks raw, woot, woot, I have completely stopped snoring, again. Yay! Cliff is amazed. Just weeks ago, I was snoring so loud we couldn't sleep together. Now, cuddling next to me, sleeping close together, he's not sure if i'm asleep or not, right next to him, because he doesn't hear a THING! And I wake up early because i get such good rest now!
My friend, Jan, reported a similar experience with snoring cessation on raw. When Jan and I were at OHI together, she told me that she snored so loud, her roommate was having difficulty sleeping. The roomate was a kind hearted lady and made due. But, for a family reason, the roommate needed to go home for a week or two. When the roomate returned back to OHI and to sleeping in the same room with Jan, she marveled, as Jan's snoring had diminished so incredibly from the OHI diet since she'd been gone!
I also remember when i first met Jan, I "heard" her before I saw her, she was weezing so loudly. After many weeks of friendship, during a walk around a lake towards the end of our OHI stay, it dawned on me. I didn't hear anything when Jan was walking. "Jan, you're walking SO easily....AND...you're not weezing anymore!!!!" It was an incredible difference.
Raw reduces inflammation! There's really something to it!
Imagine, they put those breathing face mask CPAP machine contraptions on people with sleep apnea and very loud snoring and other "sleeping disorders." My experience is that sleeping disorders originate in a diet disorder. Change your diet, change your sleep! That's been my experience, at least. Maybe easier said than done, but i'd rather eat bananas than sleep with a machine attached to my face. I mean it really does look ridiculous: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tretfzd0gpU&feature=related
I'm also off of all my meds!
I'd been taking reflux pills and allergy pills.
I'm not taking ANYTHING now.
The allergies don't seem to be affecting me this summer.
And, the reflux is no problem anymore when i eat fruity low fat days. In fact, my voice is never clearer then!
I have reflux laryngitis, a condition brought by eating too much fat and having too much fermented undigested food in the gut that "refluxes" UP into my larynx, causing me swollen vocal cords and hoarseness. Um, NOT good for a singer, shall we say?
Problems occur with reflux, even on raw, when i eat the nutty fatty days. That's even too much raw fat for me. I wake up the next morning and i'm a BASS and not a soprano! The difference is night and day. From overeating nuts, my voice is foggy, raspy, irritated the next day.
I've had 3 lessons with my new singing teacher, Arturo, and at the last lesson, i'd had salty nutty days before the lesson. (For the first two lessons, i had fruity days preceding the lesson and a clear easy tone).
"Your voice is not as free and clear as it was last week." I knew why.
One more thing on reflux, surprisingly, i can get away, reflux-wise, with overeating avo and soaked seeds without getting too much reflux. Good information to know! When i wake up in the A.M. after eating those, i'm a mezzo-soprano and not a Bass!
All in all, my body doesn't like too many nuts. My body doesn't like too much fat. My body doesn't like salt, almost at all.
I should say this like a mantra to myself.
It's my TONGUE that's the problem! Maybe for chronically obese people, they should cut off our TONGUES instead of cut up our internal organs and stomach with gastric bypass! That would probably RUIN my career as a fat person for good!
Other positive changes are.....(get ready, this is x-rated), my pits and coochy-coo no longer smell bad. Pretty awesome, since when i was eating a lot of fish? Let's just say, you would definitely know it if you were naked with me. Now i'm as fresh and clean as a daisy! The lack of vaginal odor has impacted my self esteem TREMENDOUSLY. No woman likes to be smelly "there," even after just showering. Raw food makes you feel confident sexually. Raw food cleans you from the inside. Soap didn't take that smell away.
Not only that, my urine and bowel movements do not have bad odors, at all!
Well, if i eat too many nuts, my b.m.s smell more, but in general, i'm not nervous to go in public bathroom stalls anymore. I was always conscious before that i was leaving odor. Now, i'm fresh and clean!
Raw people are not stinky people! Join the stinkless people crowd and go raw!
Other positive changes are my skin clearing up on my face and on my chest.
I had experienced a return of acne again on cooked, but now, my face looks noticibly clearer.
And on cooked, I had disturbing small bumps all OVER my chest. I didn't know what that was but it really bothered me. I am always complimented on what beautiful skin i have on my chest, and lemme tell you, it didn't look beautiful anymore, all bumpy. It was really upsetting.
Now, i'm back to my beautiful creamy smooth skin that so many people compliment me for!
Raw makes you GORGEOUS!
My hair doesn't seem to be thinning, again, or yet. We'll keep our eye on this one.... As a matter of fact, it's looking pretty thick these days!
Oh, my God, i almost forgot! The cracked crust on the back of my feet? Which i thought was just dry skin, or from wearing too many open back shoes?
I can't believe it. Either can Cliff. P.S. that is not my foot. Mine looked worse.
A dermatologist once had me laying on my stomach, examining a very small mole on my behind that i had come to her for. Before she even saw the mole, she commented on my feet, "You've got a nasty case of athelete's foot there, lady."
I was like, "Huh? The back of my feet, all crusty and crackly, that's athelete's foot?"
She gave me a cream, which worked a little but i would forget to use it.
The crusty elephant's feet were just the way my feet "were" i thought.
Not so! The cracked crusties dissappear on raw! Calling all foot fetishists. My feet are HOT now!
Not only that, they don't smell anymore either! My feet used to STINK. And it was embarrassing.
Go raw and have stinkless smooth feet, people!
You see, Athelete's foot is apparently something that is created on the INSIDE and shows itself on the outside. I always thought it was a topical problem, but it's not. Athelete's foot was a symptom of my POOR DIET.
As is excema and so many other skin ailments for so many people.
So i think i covered all of the positive body changes I've had since going back on raw.
Now, for two troublesome symptoms:
The first is a burning sensation in my 2 pinky toes on each foot.
It's from overeating FAT. I know it. You don't even have to TELL me.
It calms down overnight and on my fruity days, and starts to burn again after i eat too much fat.
Good going, genius, you created another form of Athelete's Foot...by not eating according to your body's needs!
My body sends clear signals.
It's ME who needs to take heed.
Does a mother not answer a crying baby?
The other negative symptom is the swollen ankles, but it doesn't happen when i don't eat salt.
And it lessens the more fluid i take in.
Not drinking enough agua. Gotta be more conscious to drink more water and stay away from salt.
The problem is I'm a negligent mother to my body.
Frankly, I'm angry at my body. Maybe some women are angry at their babies who keep crying. How could you not love THAT face?
I don't want to do what my body is telling me it wants: no salt and no nuts.
Fuck, I like salt and nuts. Rebellious child!
"I'm not gonna listen to you, body! Who the hell do you think you are that you can boss me around??? You can complain all you want. I'm going to do what "I" want! I'll show YOU!!!"
It's like a child saying to a mother, "I hate you as a mother. Don't tell me what to do."
No such luck. I'm stuck with the body i have! And i need to heed it's messages.
My body makes beautiful music. It can walk and swim and bend over and twist and wiggle.
I should send my body gratitude instead of being angry at it!
So, to sum up, LOTS of GREAT POSITIVE CHANGES from raw, and some signs that tell me i'm still off track.
So, my message to you, dear readers, is this: Don't give up on raw even if you get frustrated. I know how frustrating raw can be sometimes. How complicated it can be, when it used to feel simple and easy. Sometimes the more info we get, the worse off we are. When we were innocent and trusting, we were better off.
Nevertheless, I'm still receiving HUGE benefits even though the weightloss part is going to take some finessing.
I'm telling you now what i need to hear - Be your body's best friend. Eat more raw. And remove substances if they don't make you feel good. Listen. Be attentive. Pay attention.
Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.
There are MANY merits to raw. We just have to figure out how to do it RIGHT for OUR bodies.
My voice is so important to me. I don't want to fuck it up and make my vocal cords swollen just for some nut pate' fun. It's no fun walking around with swollen ankles and a hoarse voice. It sets me back emotionally AND physically.
THINK AHEAD! CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR ACTIONS. USE THE INFORMATION THAT OUR BODIES ARE TELLING US...AND MAKE ADJUSTMENTS. OUR BODIES ARE OUR BEST FRIENDS. THEY WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR US.
Pure raw joy is right around the corner. We just have to want it. And work to find it.
xoxo michelle joy
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Just got back from the concert, "A Taste of Italy," that we performed at the Grace Church in Haddonfield, NJ. The crowd was wonderful, so appreciative!
I really enjoyed myself singing! The program was very lovely. I did 8 peices!
We recorded all of my numbers and Cliff and I will listen to the recordings tomorrow... I'm giving myself tonight to bask in the glory of thinking I was wonderful! Tomorrow we'll have the reality check!
If it's any good and we can manage to figure out how to do it, we're going to upload the videos or just the audio of me singing! I'll let you know! Here's my Cliffy smiling for camera! Actually, he looks like he's mid-laugh :-)) One of his piano students came to the concert and took the pictures!Here I am with Duane Wittman, Tenor, singing the Act I love duet from Verdi's Othello. He was marvelous! His voice is huge and so dramatic. His website is http://www.duanewittman.com/.
Duane is a true Heldentenor if i ever heard one, that means a dramatic heroic tenor, suited to the operas of Wagner.
Hopefully we can get the live recording of us uploaded! I know Duane was fabu, I hope i was good!
Hey, if you are an opera lover and would like to hear the duet, I'll attach a good version from youtube. This isn't me or Duane, but hopefully soon you'll get to hear our live recording. Here are Kiri TeKanawa and Placido Domingo as Desdemona and Othello. What a magical pair!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1CdmuFM_aQ
Duane's agent was at the concert and he came up to me afterwards and introduced himself. He said, "We'll be seeing each other." Wow, maybe this is the start of something?
Duane also asked me to do a concert together with him.....in NYC!!! Holy Shlamoley! I would be honored.
Duane is the real deal, and a singer on his way to a professional operatic career. Incidentally, he just got back from a professional opera audition tour in Germany and Austria.
And the new teacher i'm studying with, Arturo Spinetti, Duane's teacher, also had a career in Germany for many years.
Ahem, did you know I graduated college with a degree in GERMAN, i have 1/2 of a Masters Degree in GERMAN, and I am a Pennsylvania Certified Teacher of German, and my whole life all i've ever wanted to do was become an opera singer and have an opera career in Germany?
Dear Law of Attraction, bitte schoen, please come to my rescue! Something seems to be lining up in a good way... The agent introduced himself to ME and then Duane asked me to sing a concert with him. Maybe the agent thought i was good and suggested it? Duane did ask AFTER i saw he and his agent chatting and looking over at me. Wow!
What a good opportunity! People in NYC are going to hear me. Maybe even other agents! Let's all pray for me, k?
You know how you just dream of one day someone important hearing you? Maybe the stars are aligning for me now!
Well, now i just gotta get my health and weight back in order, to be healthy enough for such a demanding career, and to be marketable for auditions, and just make my dreams come true!
_ _ _
Still raw, 4.5 weeks.
I wasn't that hungry today because i'd eaten too much the 2 days prior.
For breakfast, I had berry smoothie, 1 glass. For lunch i had cherries. Later, i had a banana and a few dates. I didn't eat much today, but drank alot.
_ _ _
We went out after the show and i had a hard time deciding what to order from the menu. I ended up staying RAW, but not VEGAN. i had raw fish! I ordered tuna ceviche, which was only about 1/2 cup, and splendidly delish, with a salad with tomato, onion and avocado.
Considering the other deep fried cheesy meaty bready choices, i did really well. Ceviche is actually raw. The fish is "cooked" with "acid" from lime juice, without using any heat, and the veggies in the ceviche were all raw.
The ceviche came atop crackers, which i discarded.
Tried my best!
It was a creative solution..., raw fish.
Anyway, the restaurant was downtown and there was a party going on down there, fireworks and hoards of people, and at this particular restaurant, there was a cover band playing so loud, my ears are still ringing.
I actually considered writing down what i wanted, ala Victoria Boutenko suggests, for the waitress because you couldn't even hear yourself scream.
All in all, i made it through still raw. It was an okay solution under the circumstances.
_ _ _
At work on Thursday and Friday, i returned to my old compulsive eating habits and ate when i wasn't hungry, snacking, and eating heavy nutty salty pate's. That's disheartening to not "do" well. And not only left me feeling discouraged about weight loss, but left me discouraged about ever seeing thin ankles again. My ankles swelled right up again.
When i do well at work, i eat no salt, no nuts, and am very much in control. The "fun" of indulging is not really fun when i'm left terribly uncomfortable.
I should consider myself "allergic" to salt today. A depressing thought.
I'm just suffering from these swollen ankles over the last few days, but i brought it on myself. It doesn't happen if i don't eat SALT. If i eat salt, kaplooey, they blow up.
Honestly, i feel sorry for myself. I love salt. Who doesn't?
Fruitarians and Natural Hygienists like Dr. Graham people consider salt is a poison.
After seeing what it does to my ankles, i'm not happy to incline to agree. My poor little tongue so likes salt.
_ _ _
This morning before the concert, i was crying. How could i go sing with swollen ankles? I made Cliff take me to the drugstore. I perused the choices for diuretics.
None of the bottles mentioned how long it would take for them to work.
I walked out with nothing. Good choice.
What if they didn't work right away and i had to pee in the middle of an aria???!!!!
Plus, they woulda made me even dryer than i already was. It was like i couldn't drink enough today. My body craved water so bad, probably to flush the salt from my two days of over indulgence, like it knew what was best for me.
My body didn't crave much food today.
I guess your body really knows what's best for you. You just have to use that noggin God gave you and LISTEN, PAY ATTENTION, TAKE HEED, and RESPOND.
I'm still fighting what my body is telling me. I'll talk more about that tomorrow.
So, I drank alot of fluid all day. My "kankles" seemed to improve on their own as the day went on.
After dinner out, though, they're swelled up again. Salt, salt, salt. Not out of the ORDINARY salt, just ANY salt!
Lately, I can get away with nutritional yeast on my salad and that's IT. Anything more and i have balloons for feet.
Why can't i be like everyone else? [self pity] I feel like my body is at war with my tounge. That dinner was so delish, but my body hates salt. Body, why are you being such a pain in my ass?!
_ _ _
I'm contemplating going back on just BANANAS for some time because my weightloss has stalled. Either that, or just cucumbers and tomatoes and no salt seedcheese like at OHI.
I have many options when it comes to raw. But i need to figure out a plan. And I don't know which one i will take.
1). Learn to eat tiny amounts of gourmet raw food. Forget about dieting. Forget about fruitarianism. Forget about being bloated, live with it. Maybe it will all adjust itself? Go back to Weigh Down Workshop mentality and eat a few BITES of pleasurable food, whatever i want raw, 2-5 bites per meal. Eat only when i am very hungry, stop when i am satisfied, not full. View gourmet as TOTALLY LEGAL. Enjoy myself, just cut down amounts severely. Pay attention. Demand eating. Eat when you are hungry! Not because you SEE food and it looks good. Exercise because it feels good and makes me happy. Stop focusing on weight and let the weight drop off itself. Lose all of my weight like Dustin Kellogg did eating gourmet raw, http://www.dustinkellogg.com/ , go to Germany and become a star. [i wish i could do this option...i actually don't think it's realistic, but we'll see].
2). Go back to 811 or rawfoodbootcamp mentality. Cut out all salt, almost all fat, all nuts, 1 banana a day. I lost 1/2-1 lb a DAY! I ate raw applesauce and almost fat free salads. The only problem was, i'm an addict and i kept wanting salt and fat, so i'd go off and gain weight back and i'd binge on gourmet raw. I'm not sure how much faith i have in this choice, either.
But, maybe....??? If i started SERIOUSLY meditating and went into like a zenlike mode, an ascetic mode, focusing on giving up salt and most fat and bananas, giving up the pleasurable for the sake of my art. Deny myself everything good and forget about treats. Lose all of my weight. See eating fruit all day and losing weight as my life's and opera career's mission. Regard deprivation as a gift, or as punishment that is good for me. Become a famous opera star, sing in Germany and have all of my dreams come true. ???? If i made peace with giving up so much to GET so much, it might be able to do it. And maybe once my metabolism picked up again, i could have some gourmet treats? ....oops, there i go again.
3). Go on an extended juice feast for months. Drop weight like insanely fast. Pray alot and meditate. It could work! It's a viable option.
4). Go back to OHI mentality, which was NOT FAT FREE, but mostly FRUIT FREE, except for breakfast. Make saltless soaked seed crackers. Eat 2 a day. Make saltless seed pate's. I can have a scoop at lunch andd dinner. Eat lots of sprouts and cucumbers and tomatoes. Juice once a week for a cleansing. Eat melon for breakfast, only. Eat no bananas. Walk my butt off. Exercise 2-3 hours a day. Make homemade rejuvelac. Juice wheatgrass. Eat no oil, no fat, except 1 avocado per week. No salt! Suffer, eating blenderized tomato on my salads, but see the scale move daily as i did at OHI. Try to love every minute of it because i trust the outcome. Maybe i can indulge in gourmet occassionally like i did at OHI? Why did it work THEN, but not now?
If i try THIS plan, which worked to help me lose 140 lbs in 8 months, i could lose all of my weight and go to Germany and become famous.
This would be more satisfying i think than bananas, only. But i'd miss them. Maybe i could have a whip every weekend?
5). Go to Dr. Fuhrman. Follow his plan and eat 1 oz of nuts a day. Cook my veggies so i can have fat free soup in huge unlimited amounts. Eat beans unlimited. Wow, i love beans. Lose all of my weight like millions of other people do on his plan. Become a famous star in Germany and eat cooked veggies and beans in Germany.
Hmmmmmm. Which one will it be?
I really don't know what to do, but i'm placing my burden before God's altar. Show me the way, Lord. I do know, that what i'm doing? Even though i'm raw, is not working. I'm not doing enough exercise to warrant raw nut pate' splurges at work. And the swollen feet and ankles depress me endlessly and keep me stuck, wheels turning.
I have not lost anymore weight than i initially did, about 30 lbs, and on Wednesday i will be 5 weeks raw. The weightloss is stalled.
I gained a considerable amount of weight, only perhaps water weight, but i still suffer, from the 2 days of overeating salty raw food at work.
I was discouraged to find I still fit into a 30/32 at Avenue when i went to buy a sparkly top for the concert.
I am obviously doing the wrong raw for my body.
My friend, Jan, said, "i've stopped reading what men eat on raw to lose weight." What men can do with gourmet and what women can do may indeed be different. Metabolism is also a consideration. As is the law of attraction. Maybe my overly emotional reactive generally negative mental state attracts weight gain and not loss.
Dustin is a very powerful manifestor. And i need to have that kind of power running through me to manifest what i want.
It's possible our bodies are just VERY VERY VERY different, and mine needs much simpler fare to succeed.
_ _ _
I need to decide which model will work for me and take ACTION.
Wish me luck. I deserve to lose this weight again, plus more, and start to make my dreams come true. Germany, here i come!
xoxo michelle joy
Friday, June 24, 2011
Hi dear readers,
How are you all doing? I hope well!
I'm working on my 5th week of raw, but struggling with fat and salt and not exercising enough. The weightloss is stalled. The good news is: I'm still hanging in there and working to figure out a plan of action for myself!
Anyway, exciting news! I worked yesterday and today at Arnolds Way, and there is promising news for our little store! An investor is interested in taking Arnold's Way...and turning it into a chain of raw restaurants! The first two would open in Center City Philadelphia! Arnold has met with the interested parties at least 4x already, they've scoped out possible locations, and it looks like this may be a real thing. Today at the store, to prepare for this new venture, we wrote down recipes for some of our special 'cheezes,' so that new employees at new Arnold's Way stores could create them. (Most of us who work as raw chefs at Arnold's Way make raw food to taste. Now that we may be taking this thing wider, we'll need recipes!) I came up with a workable recipe for our 'cheddar cheeze,' that i know works because someone just to happen to call and order ALL of the cheddar i had just made as a recipe test batch, so i then was able to use the new recipe i'd just created to make a 2nd test batch...and the recipe worked and was totally delish!
Raw food science, baby! The recipe was created WEIGHING all of the ingredients to make the ingredient amounts as fool-proof as possible. I hear over and over again from people who buy raw food cookbooks that recipes come out horrible. Why? 1 lemon may yield 1 oz of juice, another lemon may yield 2 oz of juice! So, if you see a recipe that says, "Juice of 1 lemon," the final taste of your recipe may be vastly different than was intended. There are SO many variables with raw. Not every pepper tastes the same. Some onions are sharper, etc... At least, weighing ingredients takes away alot of the guessing game. It may take an extra minute, but it also helps to determine accurate PRICING per ounce, very important!
It was also strongly suggested - especially over the last few days - that i write my own recipe book to sell at the new stores. This is going to be a project for the summer!
_ _ _
On the music front, things are shaking. I have 2 more bookings for retirement home concerts, I sing a new opera in November, and have a BIG concert in October with just me and my accompanist!
Tomorrow night, i sing in a concert in Haddonfield, N.J. Here's the info in case you're local!
Amici Opera Comparny presents....
"A TASTE OF ITALY"
with Soprano, Michelle Schulman
Baritone, Ralph Tudisco
Tenor, Duane Wittman
Michelle will be singing:
- Arditi's IL BACIO
- Puccini's O MIO BABBINO CARO
- VERDI'S LOVE DUET from OTHELLO with Duane Wittman
- selections from MOST HAPPY FELLA with Ralph Tudisco
- Neopolitan song FINICULI FINICULA
- Italian song CIRIBIRIBIN with Ralph Tudisco
- Mozart's beautiful duet, SULL'ARIA from Marriage of Figaro with Jenna Lee Moore, heard in "The Shawshank Redemption"
SATURDAY JUNE 25, 2011
19 King’s Hwy East
Haddonfield, NJ 08033
Pay at the door; $25 General Admission, $22 Seniors
xoxo michelle joy
Thursday, June 23, 2011
I've so been enjoying my correspondance with Sheryl, a friend of mine, who i know from Arnold's Way and yoga class. She is so wise, loving and nurturing. It feels like we are friends for many generations. She feels like an old soul.
I've taken snippets out of her letters that might resonate with you. Some of the themes are repeated, but it has been good reinforcement for me to hear. Maybe that will be good for you, too, in case you have those same challenges.
ON TACKLING ONE THING AT A TIME
It's about getting into a routine...nailing one healthy habit at a time. Once I get the eating plan plate spinning, I'll work on the exercise plate (that's where I am now) and get that plate spinning. Once I get that plate successfully spinning, I'll tackle getting another life style change plate spinning. But you can't get all of the plates spinning at the same time. This can be overwhelming.
Michelle, do you meditate? It's SO important. I was doing these elaborate meditation techniques, then a small voice inside of me told me to ditch the complicated routines. Just sit and focus on the third eye and dive deep inside and just "listen" as deeply as I can to the silence. Over time the silence will grow deeper and deeper. It's a cumulative effect that grows gradually. God is the voice of Silence. Love and Hugs, Sheryl
Sheryl, it's amazing how you came up with that meditation! That is almost the exact meditation i was taught by Roy Masters, whose meditation is available at http://www.fhu.com/. We focus on the third eye and feel the warmth of our hands to bring us out of thinking. We learn to "see" our thoughts instead of react to them, and to pull ourselves out of thinking into being by doing this meditation. It has been so tremendously helpful in my life, when i do it! Actually, i've been doing this meditation on and off for like 25 years, mostly off, or i'd probably be skinny! xoxoox michelle
Here's what I do, Michelle. Make it a regular practice to sit for fifteen minutes in meditation - you focus on your third eye and just watch your thoughts rush by without attaching your emotions or thinking to it. Just watch the thoughts parade by like a rushing stream. In time, the stream will quiet down and your mind will become more and more still. Don't worry that in the beginning, your itching, scratching, jumpy and nervous and you're thinking non-stop. Just "watch" it all as if you are watching a movie, but without holding onto any of the thoughts that jump into your mind. Just go into "observation" mode for those fifteen minutes.
Sheryl, this is VERY similar to the meditation I was taught. We focus on the third eye and focus on the warmth of our right hand. We intentionally focus on feeling the warmth of the hand and count from finger to finger feeling each finger. Focusing our attention on each finger, each finger warms up. This is to ground you in the present moment. Soon, you will notice that you've started thinking and you've stopped feeling the warmth in your hand. Notice what you are thinking, and yes, "watch" it and "observe" it like you're watching TV on a screen. Catch yourself if you react and get "involved" in the story, pull yourself out. When you realize you are caught up in thinking, go back to switching your attention to looking out of your third eye again and feeling the warmth in each finger, counting each finger until it warms up. 1-thumb, 2-pointing finger, 3- middle finger, etc... Allow each to get warm and go round and round the hand enjoying the quiet and peace of living in the moment. You will find you always get caught up in thinking again. Thinking is living in the past or the future or in a fantasy world. Feeling the warmth, and learning to 'watch' your thoughts is living in now, living in the present moment. Becoming an observer of life and your thoughts is the way out of disease, addiction, mental illness.
ON USING FOOD:
Michelle, it's very typical for a lot of us to "use" food as a form of comfort and to numb ourselves from emotions that are just too difficult to bear. It takes a lot of emotional and spiritual strength to live through the difficult feelings without using food to stuff those difficult feelings downward.
I have a tendency to do the same on a smaller scale than you. I go through binges. But I'm also finding that certain foods trigger a "I want to have more of this" type feeling than others. Salt, sugar and fat can be triggers for me to eat more. But we actually need to have all three of these tastes in some form for our bodies to function.
THE DECISION TO CHANGE HER DIET
What helped me to make the decision to go on the Fuhrman program in the first place is that I'm seeing a lot of people my age and older on multiple drugs, have already had heart attacks, or have diabetes, bouts with cancer, etc. My husband was diagnosed with partial blockage of his carotid artery leading into his face. He'll have to probably go on a statin drug to clean it up. He doesn't want to be on high blood pressure meds and cholesterol meds for the rest of his life and then have kidney or liver problems in older age. I have both cancer and heart disease in my family and my maternal grandparents died in their early sixties. I'm 56 and my husband is 59 years of age. We have been out and about during the Memorial Weekend, and we are surrounded by temptations everywhere we turn. The only thing that is preventing us from going hog wild, is that we keep saying to ourselves that we don't want to be on meds or to suffer some horrible disease for the rest of our lives, and that we'd better get our health in order by taking responsibility and changing our diet. My twin sister and my aunt one time said to me.....that I'm being selfish in NOT taking care of myself. They wanted me to know that they would grieve horribly if I died sooner than is normal because I never took care of myself. That shook me up.
ON HOW WE TREAT OURSELVES IMPACTS OTHERS
I had always thought that how a person takes care of their body is their own business. But then it really hit me that when you don't take care of yourself and you wind up getting some terrible disease or illness, it DOES adversely impact those we care about. Look at what your mother's illness has done to you, boubie. Your mother's illness DID affect you. You love her and didn't want her to suffer. But, Michelle, boubie, there are people who care for YOU and who LOVE YOU, who would be bereft and deeply adversely affected if you got sick and your health was compromised in some way. So this is a strong motivator to me as well that....it's not just about "me." It appears as if when I hurt myself, it's just me that I'm hurting, but in reality, I'm also hurting the ones I love as well. So you have Cliff and all of your dearest closest friends and family members who deeply love and appreciate you who would be extremely bereft and saddened and adversely impacted if something bad happened to YOU. So think deeply and feel deeply about this and really get that on a deep level. This will give you the motivation you need to resist the temptation.
ON REHEARSING IN ADVANCE!
Just be wherever it is that you are. Just plan for the day and rehearse for how you are going to handle the events of the day where your eating is concerned. Then when your trigger comes up for you, you'll have programmed yourself to respond and react in a constructive rather than a destructive way. You will be overjoyed at your success.
...Whatever program you feel aligned with....the raw vegan diet....sure....fine....whatever. Keep imagining the foods that you are allowed to have on the program of choice. Yes, your addiction-backed behaviors are still going to be in place, but now when you grab for something, it's going to be automatically those foods that you have imagined and verbalized continually in your head before the impulsive behavior takes place.
This really works. I observe that I still have my compulsive food moments, but I see that I'm grabbing either fruits and vegetables (a small amount) to fill that void moment.
...Keep rehearsing what you WANT to do, don't fill your mind with all of the things you do WRONG. Rehearse how you WANT to act. I know that this works, because I have compulsive tendencies (thanks Mom and Dad - Oy vey!) Rehearsing keeps me focused on following through on my good intentions.
CREATE AN EXERCISE ROUTINE, THE ROUTINE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE ACTIVITY IN THE BEGINNING
Next, choose a form of exercise that YOU LIKE and enjoy....not what others are shoving down your throat to do. If you only feel comfortable doing a form of exercise for five - ten minutes, then just do this for five to ten minutes, but try to be consistent with it. It's a matter of establishing a routine that is comfortable for you.
...As far as exercise goes, just think in terms of doing something. Do SOMETHING. I don't care what it is for fifteen minutes every day. The idea is to get into some kind of routine with it. Try to vary it so that you don't get bored with it. Make sure it's an activity that is fun and that resonates with your own heart. I love yoga. I love to walk outdoors when the weather is nice and I love to dance. Right now, I'm following David's routine suggestions because he seems to feel that I'm not pushing myself hard enough with my exercise program. But at your stage where you are at, I would just do fifteen minutes each day until this becomes routine for you and the routine becomes easy for you. Then you can take those activities and do them for a half an hour. Then you can move up fifteen minutes till you get to an hour's worth of exercising a day. But it doesn't have to be a full hour at one time. You can break it up to two half hour stints. But make sure you are doing something that you enjoy. Go easy on yourself at first. Put on a record with your favorite music and just move around to each one. Trust me, you will be tired after fifteen minutes of dancing to the music. But you will have so much fun doing it. (No acrobatics please.)
ON SELF WORTH AND LOVE
From a spiritual perspective, boubie, you know that we are all here to learn how to "love" period, end of sentence. And this love is to be directed indiscriminately to everyone and every animal....and that includes you. Those of us who have eating disorders (and I include myself in this), have somewhere along the way harbored this deep seated belief that "I am not worthy." We have to reprogram ourselves to fully understand that we are indeed worthy. If we weren't, we would not have been given the opportunity to have this "life" in the first place. Love you so much, Michelle, boubie. Love and Hugs, Sheryl
...But I'm not perfect with it. There is NO SUCH THING as PERFECTION on any plan you take on. Nothing in this life is all or nothing. Even Arnold will say you have to take it one meal at a time.
WISDOM ABOUT HOUSE CLEANING:
Michelle, I like your idea about cleaning every day for 20 mins. Here's what i do because i hate to clean but hate a dirty house. I clean up after every meal I make in the kitchen. I clean the toilets and sinks in the home on a Friday before I receive a house guest. I clean all of the rooms in the house once a month. (Bathrooms - Monday, Kitchen, all tile floors and laundry room on Tuesday, dust mop bedroom floor and vacuum all rugs throughout the house on Thursday and dust every room on Friday morning. Then I'm free the rest of the month to do whatever it is that I want. But I'm not good with the piles of paper myself. I never seem to have the time to sort through the paper stuff and file it away. My husband is a thrower and I'm a saver. Ugggghhhhh! I can identify with the feeling of "overwhelm" that you feel on occasion. But I think that our health has to be the priority for now. Love and hugs, Sheryl
Thank you, Sheryl, for all of your wisdom! My job now will be to create a plan/routine that applies these techniques and to stay disciplined and follow through daily.
Much love to you!
xoxo michelle joy
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Here's some new things for you:
NEW VIDEO: Michelle and ARNOLD talk at ARNOLD'S WAY:
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CORRESPONDANCE WITH ILONA, FRIEND I MET AT O.H.I.
Hi there, sweetheart Ilona! How are you and Craig? Are you still raw? Last time we talked you were raw over 3 years. Have you been back to OHI (http://www.optimumhealthinstitute.com/)?? I was raw 3.5 years and fell off over a year ago. I'm back on track eating raw 4 weeks and a few days. I had gained over 120 lbs. I have lost 31 again so far, and 81 total now. I had lost 175 lbs... I wish i could go back to OHI!!! Say hi when you can and give me the update!
Michelle, I was a mirror to you. We fell off the raw wagon about a year ago and i gained 65 lbs and Craig gained a lot also. Recently, I went back to raw, just doing seed cheese, sprouts, granny smith apples and cinnamon, and I lost 35 lbs. Since then, i have stayed mostly raw, except for roasted salted peanuts, and kippers occasionally. I broke my hip, so i eat the kippers for the omega 3s and because my protein is low and i think i need it to heal. But i've let go of all other cooked food because arthritis set in after 6 months of SAD and 65 lbs extra of carrying around. So even though i am tempted by pastries and sweets, the pain is a great deterrant. I too really want to go back to OHI, but they won't accept any more missionaries that have been before and i can't afford full price. We just got a a 5 lb box of dates from the date company that taste just like those delicious barhi dates that we had there.
Ilona, it's so good to hear from you! As we speak, i came to the library to write because i was so emotionaly upset over my lunch.
We went to mexican and i got a plain salad with 2 sides of guacamole, which i plopped on the salad, and i used balsamic vinaigrette on my salad, too.
I really contemplated the best way to get lunch and feel like i failed. Balsamic is cooked. So what would have been the big deal with getting the cooked veggies they put on my salad last time?
The guacamole had salt in it and i've been salt free for about 4 or 5 days..., so i'll gain, and all of this avo was too much fat.
I HATE this mental insanity about my weight. Cliff was eating rice and beans and i was left wondering if it wouldn't have been in my best interest in terms of FAT content to have gotten cooked veggies and black beans on my salad instead of 2 portions of guacamole. A little rice and unlimited beans and cooked veggies are allowed on Dr. Fuhrman's diet...but 2 sides of guacamole aren't.
I just get so confused sometimes. I just get competing philosophies in my head from time to time driving me crazy, causing me to question, and feel guilty, and feel bad. Why can't i feel GOOD about my choices???
Guacamole is raw, yes, but the big focus in everything i am being exposed to lately is LOW FAT, LOW FAT, and i feel like i just failed, even though i am on my way to 5 weeks raw. Failed is a strong word, but that's how badly i felt after my lunch. I guess i'm just overly emotional. I even cried in the car after lunch, after getting over the intense feelings of wanting to go for a binge first. Crying was an outlet for the frustration that USED to be binge eating. I made it THROUGH that, at least. THAT was an accomplishment to want to binge, but not do it, i came through it emotionally, and....cried. I was also upset because i knew i "should" exercise, but didn't "want" to, especially after "fucking up" at lunch. So i made Cliff drop me off at the library so i could write and try to overcome this episode, and then do the 20 mins walk home. So i did good, but it wasn't easy. I still ate too much fat.
Anyway, i haven't lost much weight because i'm eating a lot of fat and i haven't been exercising much.
I wish i could just reverse time and be back to that blessed mindset i had at OHI, that as long as it's raw, its healthy and good. I rarely felt guilty eating anything raw there or at the raw places i frequented where i ordered guacamole ALWAYS, then an entree, then dessert! I BELIEVED i would lose weight from it...and I did!
Now, the more I "know," (knowledge is a dangerous thing), i'm full of insecurity, fear, doubt, anxiety when i eat and feel bad afterwards for doing the "wrong" thing.
Bring me back to that state of blessed assurance and peace in raw! I can't take it. I had such hope, such trust, such faith in raw. I never thought of ANY of it as high fat or fattening. I just so happened to walk my butt off and swam so much it never became an issue. And i didn't walk "to lose weight," I walked because it felt good! I had no car, so i had no choice!
I am really mentally off - I get sooo down on myself, and then i don't WANT to move, walk, exercise. I've got to get moving again, exercising.
Oh, I miss you!!! We had such a great time at OHI, didn't we? Give yourself a big hug from me and please one to Craig! You guys are the BEST. Love you! So sorry to hear about your falling off of the wagon, too.
It stinks. Now i am almost 100 lbs more than i was at my lowest and i feel so discouraged. i just have to MOVE and do the best i can with the fat. Probably more important to move and exercise than watch the fat.
Anyway, what are kippers? sardines? my friend who is mostly raw eats canned sardines and quinoa cooked, for bkfast, and she eats raw the rest of the day, and she said she never felt better. go figure!
How is the brain hemmoraging? did that return with the SAD diet?
One good thing, now that i'm back on raw, my snoring left. So, something is working, even if the weight is a burden, physically and emotionally.
Oh, i love dates, but i've read it's not good if you're trying to lose weight, either.
I wish i could just turn off my head and stop reading things about how to lose weight on raw. One guru says only 1 banana a day an no high glycemic fruits. The other guru says eat only bananas, nothing else. The other guru says eat bananas and dates all day and you should lose. The other guru says eat unlimited cooked beans. I despise this state of mental confusion I fall into constantly.
Yet, i long to know the ANSWER, the SECRET to thinness again. Why was it so easy before?
I think the ANSWER is raw COUPLED WITH INTENSE EXERCISE, because I visited the raw restaurants frequently and indulged guiltlessly in guacamole each time...and still lost 140 lbs! With all of that walking and swimming, i probably could have eaten cheese pizza and would have lost weight.
I think hardcore exercise is the big missing link. Look at all of the exercise they do on EXTREME MAKEOVERS - hours a day. That's what i did at OHI! I walked and walked and walked. I need to really focus my energies there.
I am a binge eater, so when i get upset, i eat. That's why i came to the library, to write, so i wouldn't go eat something!!! Much love to you and Craig! keep in touch.
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NOW......LET's WASH OURSELVES CLEAN FROM ALL OF MY MENTAL INSANITY AND HEAR FROM GLORIOUS GLENDA, FAITHFUL AND SUPPORTIVE PURE RAW JOY BLOG FRIEND WHO IS FEELING TRUE PEACE!
Hey there Baby girl,
I know things are looking up for you now. I'm glad that you are finding some sembilance of peace in your raw walk.
I've been following you daily or as often as you post and praying for you.
I really liked your stand at the bbq. I wonder if I would have made it. But, you prepared and had Cliff by your side and you made it.
It really is a daily walk. I'm glad that you're exercising too. I haven't made it that far yet. I need too but, I haven't had a breakthrough yet.
I watched your opera singing video again and was amazed again., You are so gifted girl. kudos to you.
I've finally found a place of peace in my food/weight/overeating/bingeing/etc part of my life.
I've learned to love and really like myself just like I am now. If nothing never changes I'm okay.
I'm finally happy with my hair and I wear it any way that I want and I'm comfortable with how I look now.
That was a big thing for me. My hair had thinned so badly in the top but it's filled back in again and I'm so happy.
The gray streaks running through it look great and I'm glad to have made 59 years old and feeling relatively healthy.
It's almost like a big weight was on my head and I was just dragging through life.
I rejoice daily that I'm feeling better and looking good. I take MSM (grows your hair, nails and strengthens your bones and skin) and reishi mushroom caps for my joint pain and my knees are feeling much better.
I think that diminishing of the knee pain really revived me totally. Pain can just overwhelm your life.
I eat fruits in the morning and at noon I eat some popcorn and at about 4 pm daily I eat a meal usually a sandwich with lots and lots of veggies on it . I get off work at 6pm and after i get home at about 8 pm I eat fruit and water.
I'm finally at peace within. All of the years of struggle are over. The mental anguish is over. I'm just amazed. I'm at peace.
I know that my glucose levels are going down and my weight is slowly decreasing.
But, I'm not giving the weight thought anymore. I really just wanted to feel better, if I lose the weight or not I really don't care anymore. My well-being is what's important.
I was so consumed with the idea of being thin or losing 100 pounds that I couldn't think of anything else.
Now my thoughts are about serving others. I going to volunteer at a school in the fall, since my job will be ending soon here.
I love being around children and being of assistance. So I'll be taking my roommates son to school and while he's in school I'll be volunteering and then after school we'll come home together. So It's a new adventure for me.
Michellle, Pray for me please as i pray for you and your Cliffy. Our lives are going to get brighter and brighter, girl!!!!
Glenda \i/ Praizin' Him !
Dear Glenda, i just smile and smile as i read your writing. You are full of love! Wear your hair any way you like it, sweetness, you are GORGEOUS in my eyes, mind, body and SPIRIT! i adore you! Maybe i will try MSM for the thinning hair, and take a BIG cue from you and STOP focusing on weight and start focusing on my well being (which is much improved), and on serving others. Mental anguish is the right way to describe it! I am SICK of it! I love you and will write you back. xoxo michelle
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SNIPPETS FROM SHERYL, my email friend who is doing Dr. Fuhrman's plan
ON THE BUDDHISTIC WAY TO DEAL WITH CHALLENGES:
Michelle, Boubie, being upset with your messy house is a trigger just like anything else that pushes your buttons can be a trigger. So since you know that this is a trigger for you, rehearse how you will respond to that the next time you see it and react that way. Doing this will change the previous destructive internal programming. The Buddhistic way of looking at the mess is to not make a judgement about the mess in the first place, but to simply, upon becoming aware of the mess and the dirtiness, to clear the mind completely and just tackle what is possible to begin to clean up the mess, for example. It's just doing what is required at the moment to simplify your life. The whole idea is to move out of judgement to self or other. Jim always says in yoga class, "It's only practice." We need to take that into our daily lives. Life is only just practice. It's about how we go about doing anything. It's not about our achieving any special goal. It's not about the end result. It's about how we respond to what we confront in our lives on a moment by moment basis. Love and Hugs, Sheryl
I hope you enjoyed hearing from my friends! I hope at least something was insightful to you and will help you along your journey. We will hear more from Sheryl tomorrow. She is so wise!
Wishing you a blessed day.
xoxo michelle joy
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
In my effort to eat less fat and less salt on my raw plan (Today is the end of my 4th week raw!!!), I am hooking up with my friend, Sheryl, who is following Dr. Furhman's low fat vegan diet. His diet is so sensible, but I will stay on my raw plan, and use his plan as inspiration, and we will support each other, by emailing! Dr. Fuhrman has been featured lately on PBS. His plan helps so many people to lose weight and reverse disease. http://www.drfuhrman.com/
Here's Dr. Fuhrman's weight loss and health plan in a nutshell. Even if we stay raw, we can learn from it.
P.S. - Dr. Fuhrman's office is in Flemington, NJ, which is only about 40 minutes outside of Doylestown, PA.
DR. FUHRMAN PLAN
-all raw vegetables, cooked green and non-green nutrient-rich vegetables (eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, onions, tomatoes, carrots and cauliflower)
-beans, legumes, bean sprouts, and tofu
-cooked starchy vegetables or whole grains: butternut and acorn squash, corn, white potatoes, rice, sweet potatoes, bread, cereal (not more than one serving, or 1 cup per day)
-raw nuts and seeds (1 oz. max per day)
-avocado (2 oz. max. per day)
-dried fruit (2 tablespoons max. per day)
-ground flaxseeds (1 tablespoon max. per day)
-between meal snacks
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So, in an effort to cut the fat and follow Dr. Fuhrman's tried-and-true diet advice since i've been struggling with overeating fat, I had no coconut in my morning shake. My shake was so good, i didn't even miss it. Banana, cacao, date, raspberry, strawberry.
[I guess dates are dried fruits, so i should only eat them once a day, according to Fuhrman. Plus, i think cacao is a fat, but i don't use that much.]
For lunch, i came up with a promising salad dressing!!!! I can't say it was DELICIOUS, but i think it has hope! Next time, i will add more garlic, and add some onion and some herbs right to the dressing.
In the Vitamix, add:
1/2 cup of frozen or fresh mango
1-2 small cloves of garlic, or powdered garlic
a few TBSP of raw apple cider vinegar
juice of 1/2 lemon
1/4 cup or more of nutritional yeast (for saltiness, B vitamins and adds body to dressing)
about 1 oz of raw cashews
- - 1/2 cup water (drizzle in after rest of ingredients are blending)
Blend all ingredients into a cream, drizzling 1/2 cup of water into moving blender. This will thin out dressing and increase it's volume. This should be enough for 2-3 salads, and includes the appropriate amount of nuts for an entire day. Honestly, it makes for a bland salad, but provides enough slip. To cure blandness, add fresh herbs, jalapeno, more garlic, onions to spice things up, and if you don't have a problem with salt, that will help greatly, so add some celtic or himalayan salt! (Nama Shoyu or Braggs would make it an ugly color!)
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Olive oil is sooooo delish (especially my home infused olive oil with all of my garden herbs and garlic), but I tend to overdo it, so i'm trying to stay away from it as much as possible in an effort to improve my weight loss and bear in mind Dr. Fuhrman's advice.
Yes, Dr. Fuhrman is against ANY oils, but definitely not against what he considers good healthy FATS, like flax seeds and avocado and nuts in moderation.
I don't like working hard at being raw and then not losing weight. It's too frustrating and seems pointless. If i can enjoy my salads with less fat and with a better form of fat for weight loss according to Fuhrman, why not give it a shot???? The mango cream dressing above used cashews for creaminess.
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For dinner, which i am hungry for now, i'm going to take some of the leftover dressing (i used about half for my lunch) and add tomatoes and red peppers and basil and oregano and more garlic and onion for a low fat italian tomato sauce for my zucchini.
I usually drizzle lots of oil into my sauce. I'm very tempted to add my oil, but will try it without!
Guess what? It was awesome!
-1/3 cup of creamy mango dressing
-2 small garlic cloves
-handful of fresh herbs: basil leaves, fresh chives, cilantro
-small peice of ginger
-2 roma tomatoes, cut in half
-1 red pepper, cut up
-1/2 slice of onion
-1/4 to 1/3 of a jalapeno depending on how spicy you like. Remove ribs and seeds to cut spice also.
-1/3 cup nutritional yeast flakes for saltiness and cheesiness
Immediately pour over raw zucchini spaghetti, and enjoy!
Add 1/2 tsp of raw pesto to top if desired.
FATTENING RAW PESTO
In a cuisinart with S blade, add:
2-3 handfuls of mixed herbs: lots of basil, some parsley and cilantro, a little mint, a little chives...
sprinkle of celtic or himalayan salt
juice of 1/2 lemon
1 oz of cashews
1/2 cup Olive oil
Process all ingredients until smooth texture. Scrape sides of processor and process more.
USE THIS SPARINGLY!!!!!!
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Fuhrman suggests no more than 1 oz of nuts a day. I abided by this today and had soooo much energy! Actually, i still have some dressing left, so i had less than an ounce! Using the nuts in dressing helps to control nut intake, as long as you know how much you put in the dressing.
Much less nuts and no oil afforded my body the ability to generate so much energy. I got soooo much done today!!!! LOTS more energy! Wow. Eating lower fat makes you FEEL better.
Dr. Fuhrman also advises no more than 2 oz of avocado daily, in addition to the 1oz of nuts, for weight loss. Okay! No wonder i don't lose when i eat a whole avo on my salad, plus nuts! It tastes good, but dragged my body down....
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Althought he does not recommend using olive oil, i cannot say i will stop completely, I included it in the pesto i made, but that pesto was really for Cliff, but i treated myself to 1/2 tsp. I will at least try to measure oil and use no more than 1-2 Tbsp at a time. I'm giving myself that out. I honestly think i usually pour 1/4 cup or more onto my salad!!! I think that's a LOTTA calories and weight loss seems to halt then.
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What did you do good today? What did you struggle with? I love hearing from you! Let's support each other!
I practiced my singing. I listened to my lesson tape and took notes. I did all of the dishes. I cooked Cliff dinner. I cleaned up the kitchen again afterwards. I went shopping. i had a busy day.
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I'll be in NY for my voice lesson tomorrow, but in my next blog, we'll hear from Sheryl, my friend emailing me, the one doing Fuhrman's plan. (Sheryl's emails are amazingly insightful).
And we'll hear from our Pure-raw-joy blogfriend and darling angel, "Praizin' Him, Glenda." She is doing so well making peace with herself and loving herself just the way she is, eating well for her (some raw and some cooked), and feeling good! (We all have to find our way and what works for us! No one says you have to be all raw, (unless you do!)) Whenever I read Glenda's writing, i smile and smile! Her pure soul just radiates!!! Look forward to Glenda!
Looking forward to sharing all of that with you!
Wishing you a beautiful pure raw joy day!
xoxo michelle joy