My wonderful darling friend and co-worker, Megan, said that ("act as if it didn't happen") in response to my report of bread and cheese and a huge "Louie sandwhich" (in response to her question, "Still raw?")
Well, yes, it was a bump in the road. And i broke the Passover fast, too. Forgive me, Father!
What i did learn from that fall is why people love loaf bread - it is SO amazingly fluffy! Man, when i bit in, i was like...'damn, it's like biting into a cloud!' (When i think back, i think i've fallen almost exclusively by starting on BREAD. It's a real weakness.)
What i also learned from my fall yesterday is that it's easier to fall than I think, and that eating problems/chronic issues like mine are really a complex thing. Bad behaviors sneak up on me. I really wasn't THAT stressed yesterday. Yesterday's fall was more mental, i think, than anything. It really showed bad decision making. I'd had roasted nuts already, that was a bad choice to begin with,...so what was really the difference if i had bread? That's stinkin' thinkin'.
I need to find a response that works to that question for myself, "What's the difference?" Well, "What's the difference? Michelle, if you STOP NOW, you'll save thousands of calories, weight gain, bloat, starting up cravings again....THAT's the difference." I used to go to O.A. meetings where we would call our 'disease of compulsive eating' cunning and deceptive. It really is! You have to outsmart it! It's too easy to kid yourself and give in...if you've become prone to that like i have. Prior to falling 6 months ago, i NEVER gave in. Since i did, it's become easier.
There are two ways to deal with eating in my book. The first is to be vigilant and black and white. Never touch ANYTHING illegal. And immediately feel guilt-ridden when you do. (Things can easily snowball because it's perfectionistic.) The other is to be kinda wishy washy and taste a little of everything, be totally self-forgiving and banish all guilt. (Even if you DO have a little bite of something illegal, it won't go further then because the guilt doesn't propel you.) I think a combination of the two is the best way to be, for me. Be vigilant and stay clean, but if you do fall, forgive, forgive, forgive, and zero guilt so it doesn't propel forward. Let it go and move on. Why allow it to snowball? It only makes matters WORSE.
There is the general philosphy with eating disorders that NO FOOD should be illegal. That in order to beat an eating disorder, one must legalize ALL FOOD. That is constantly on my mind. But, i'll have to tackle that one in another life.
Yesterday i spent nearly 11 hours at Arnold's Way! We had our first FIRST FRIDAY! It was a very good success!
I made a special dinner: Kreamy Kale Salad, Purple Cabbage Slaw, Chick-un Salad and Marvelous Mushrooms (marinated in a Sun-dried tomato sauce). Big thumb up on the food, yay!
[Well, YOU can create fantastical dishes, too, if you use the 5 flavors. Honey, that is ALL i do! RAW FOOD PREP LESSONS - IN HOME - Contact Chef Michelle at 215-284-6525 or at LaSoprana@aol.com.] (shameless plug)
We sold many, many green smoothies and banana whips, and Arnold noted, "What was different about tonight is that it was a NEW crowd, people who've never been here and never even knew we were here." THAT is sooo fantastic!
Since Arnold's Way is in a small mini-mall called the DRESHER ARCADE on Main Street (Rt 63) in Lansdale, it IS incredibly easy to miss. People walk right past it everyday. You have to walk IN the Arcade to find Arnold's Way.
But with all of the hullabahoo that was going on out there at the Arcade entrance, people actually realized there were stores in there!
DORINDA'S GLYCERIN SOAPS - THE MOST AMAZING SOAP IN THE WORLD!!!
We had Dorinda selling her AMAZING soaps at the Arcade entrance. Her soaps are called, "WASH TYME" http://www.washtyme/ and come in cute brown paper biodegradable boxes. Here's my plug for them because i REALLY am a total complete CONVERT! If you would have told me this months ago, i would have called you a liar. Ask Arnold, i was vocal about hating these soaps. I resisted Dorinda's soaps for a long time because i didn't like the color, they are brown, (brown soap? Uy!) or the scent, uh, well, NOT that fabulous, and i would be basically washing myself with McDonald's french fry oil. Not an appealing trio of reservations.
That said, let me tell you, the proof is in the pudding. I tried Dorinda's soap because she gave me a bar for free, otherwise, i probably wouldn't have tried it. I was shockingly SURPRISED, and went on to purchase a giant stack in 6 different scents, and they DO smell, well, pretty good... But it's not the smell or the color anymore that i even pay attention to. It's how they make me feel. I've learned to find the color quirky and the scent enjoyable BECAUSE MY SKIN HAS NEVER BEEN SOFTER! And i'll tell you another thing. I used to use the foo foo FIJI organic coconut oil soap, stark white, beautiful, smelled amazing from Arnold's WAy. Yeah, great. They made my skin as dry as a bone and terribly itchy after bathing and during the week. Wash Tyme specializes in making natural vegetable glycerin soaps that clean exceptionally well and are gentle on the skin. The glycerin we use is the byproduct of making biodiesel from recycled & filtered vegetable oil. By making soap from this glycerin, there is no down-stream waste!
You want to feel something soft? Dorinda's been using her own soaps for 2 years. I have NEVER felt such soft skin in my LIFE! Her arms feel like silk. "Are you wearing moisturizer?", I asked incredulously. "No!" She doesn't even use MOISTURIZER and the level of moisture in her skin is quite simply amazing. WASH TYME - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! (I don't work on commission. I support what i believe in.)
MASSIVE MASSAGE SPECIAL!
We also had the amazing Stephanie out there doing massages. She is incredible. I am plugging her, too, because i not only adore HER, i respect her skill and love what she does. Steph is a professional massage therapist who slashed her prices for Christmas and is continuing her amazing holiday special - 1.5 hours of massage for $40 bucks. Unheard of. I'm plugging Steph, too, because she is a FANTASTIC massage therapist who really CARES and is so passionate, and works in salons where you pay 3 or 4x as much, but is taking boobkas on her own because she is constantly booked now for massages, so it's worth it to her. We know MANY massage therapists at Arnold's Way, and their prices are in line with the salons, and in this economy, they're not busy. Steph did a recession slash and she works her butt off now, literally! Coming to the Lansdale area and your back killing you? Give Steph a call. Stephanie Schneibel 610-849-6654!
I got home dead tired, had an easy time staying raw all day, and am now on to the next hurdle....EASTER! I'm singing Easter morning and also must memorize my opera this week. I also have planning for my catering jobs to do.
Mom fared fantastically yesterday, all on her own. She drank leftover green smoothie, made herself salads (i left her raw dressing), had plenty of raw chips and cookies here, and she warmed up some steamed potatoes and steamed veggies for herself for dinner. She didn't complain of food coming up or of gas. Hm!
We both took our 'dirt' last night (Diatomaceous Earth). We call it 'the dirt'! It seems to help our reflux issue. Hey, and i did not fart that much yesterday come to think of it! From what i hear, it will take away all of the farties from raw food. Yay!
Oh! My dear, beloved friend, Jan, who i met at O.H.I. three years ago (and we're STILL friends!) is an amazing resource for raw food blogs, support, etc... Well, she has decided to join Raw Food Rehab! http://www.rawfoodrehab.com/ I'm going to check it out, too!
xoxo michelle joy