Monday, January 18, 2010

Doing a cumulative thing!!


After purging myself [in writing] in my last blog entry, "A day in the life of an addict," I was SO motivated to do well yesterday. [Writing is so cathartic for me!] I felt renewed after writing.

Then a surprise 2nd B.M. urged me to the bathroom, that was exciting, and the prospect of that wonderful need to eliminate after being constipated from cooked food, prompted me to see, had i perhaps lost weight? I THOUGHT i looked better in the mirror! [Even though i had a raw food binge last night?]

Indeed! I weighed in down 10 lbs to 282, without even trying! That's blowing my mind. Valerie, my raw friend, discovered the same thing. Quick weight loss without trying after getting off of cooked. THAT's the power of raw food. In 5 days, to lose 10 lbs of cooked food bloat while eating raw gourmetish just feels magical. I'm so pleased!

I was in the 290's, now the LOW 280's. Next time i check, i'll be back in the 270's!!! I'm not going to be weighing as often, on purpose. I think it's better.

So, filled with positive good feelings after weighing in, I felt motivated to go for a walk! Which i did! I walked to Starbucks and met Cliff for an herbal tea and enjoyed a 20+ mins walk, which felt envigorating. Doing well feels good.

Feeling good makes you WANT to feel good. Why do i want to feel bad, ever? Well, i suppose when i feel badly about things, i like to feel bad.

Nevertheless, I feel very happy about this new turn of events, especially since i could have very well had a disasterous day yesterday, since i craved cooked food so much the previous night and even mentally PLANNED a cooked binge [spring rolls and singapore noodles and a fake chikn cheeze steak.] Would it have stopped there? NOT LIKELY.

But, i resisted temptation and I'm still raw, baby! And that feels fabulous, to have avoided tragedy. Yay! I'm on my way! Doing good makes you WANT to do good. It's like a snowball when you do badly, but it's just the same when you do well. It creates momentum!

I just made Cliff and I one of our famous raw platters for lunch, including the avo/ranch dressing mix on top of mixed greens i spoke of the other day, a cabbage slaw that i doctored up with raw vinegar and carraway seeds, yum, and i doctored up the too thick chia pudding to gourmet restaurant worthy quality. Wow! Better than Cozy Shack Rice Pudding. It's a winner!

All in all, I had a marvelous day! I also taught two singing lessons today and both students did SO well! And i didn't even WANT to go teach them! Before teaching i'm often filled with a great degree of anxiety. I concoct possible 'excuses' in my head and dream of canceling, but remember that the lessons i fear the most usually turn out the best. Fear, fear, fear. It's what surges through my veins so often. My students did just fabulously, and i am a good teacher. That made me feel GREAT. Feeling great makes me want to feel great.

After that, i met Cliff for dinner. I got a delicious salad with Kalamata olives on it. He got a small pizza, and it didn't even call to me. I'm so OVER cooked food. That's how i feel today. It's just like it never happened.

Then, I met Alex, my accompanist, to formulate and rehearse a concert of old-time singing film stars songs. I think it will be a wonderful concert. Songs from Jeannette McDonald, Mario Lanza, etc... I sang wonderfully and that feels amazing.

God, feeling GOOD, doing GOOD, being GOOD feels so much better than eggrolls taste. Gotta remember that. When i went to see Alex, i wasn't scared about how awful i looked. I look better already. And THAT feels marvelous. I like feeling GOOD about ME. Eggrolls make me feel BAD about me.

So, today was a GREAT day. And just could have been a worthless cooked binge day, which might never have ended, i could weigh 300 today, but instead, it was a productive wonderful RAW day, i look better, weigh less, sang great, taught great, ate great! Doing well is a cumulative thing. It picks up steam and you're on you're way!!! YAY!

xoxox michelle joy

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