Thursday, July 28, 2011


LaRhonda BEFORE....

And LaRhonda AFTER......!

LaRhonda lost 202 lbs with trainer, Chris Powell, on EXTREME MAKEOVERS WEIGHT LOSS EDITION.

LaRhonda's episode on

Oh my god, I cried buckets as I watched LaRhonda's journey unfold on a past MAKEOVERS episode i missed.

LaRhonda is an incredible woman, so persistent, such a hard worker, she never gave up, she worked out 5 hours a day, 6 days a week for an entire YEAR!

I am SO INSPIRED to get MOVING again! (I got discouraged and it's been about 2 weeks since i've formally moved..... As a result, i've put on weight, even though i'm more than 9 weeks raw...)

Back to amazing LaRhonda - When LaRhonda went off of her low fat food plan a few times during the year, she never let it set her back, learning to "not eat the whole bag," and continued with her exercises and nothing happened!

...She's unflappable...and i'm flappable!!! What's the difference between us?

Well, LaRhonda has a REALLY REALLY REALLY strong faith in God, is a STRONG BELIEVER, and it shows. She's not only a gorgeous woman as a super size 445 lbs, and a stunner at 230 lbs, but her inner beauty and Spirit, strong CHARACTER, and POSITIVE UPBEAT ATTITUDE radiate and shine from the inside out!

You know that bible verse about someone withOUT faith buidling their 'house' on 'sand'? That's the difference between us. LaRhonda relies on GOD...and I lose faith so frequently...

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LaRhonda teaches me more than the importance of STRONG SPIRITUALITY.

She reminds me of Jack LaLayne's famous words, that "EXERCISE IS THE KING," and "DIET IS THE QUEEN,".....and that diet 'fudges' don't do much harm when you're metabolism is burning on overdrive!

LaRhonda also reminds me why my days at OHI worked - EXERCISE, duh!

At OHI, I was walking and swimming for hours daily! And, incidentally, i ate a low fat raw diet.

BUT, and this is the big one - my low fat raw diet was supplemented OFTEN by incredibly delicious succulent high fat raw 4-course Ranchos and Cilantros - sometimes as much as 4x a week! My body was in BURNING MODE from daily hours of walking and swimming and i lost 140 lbs in 8 months even though i was eating raw PIE, GUACAMOLE, OIL on my salad, raw CHOCOLATES, etc..., SEVERAL times a week!!!

In the last 2 weeks, i GAIN eating those very SAME foods.

What is different? I'm sedentary for 2 weeks!

_ _ _ _

I had a singing lesson on Wednesday and my teacher said, "You are a VERY GOOD SINGER." Arturo was a PROFESSIONAL opera singer, who sang with so many famous opera stars, even Aprile Milo, one of my idols! What a lovely compliment! Cliff said I am sounding better and better and more and more "connected" at every lesson!

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Oh, I was so depressed all day Wednesday after my lesson. :-((

I just cried and cried... "But you had such a great lesson?" Cliff said.

I did. But i have so far to go still. And from my vantage point that day, not only singing, but my diet and weight and life...just seemed hopeless, like nothing would ever get better. I will honestly tell you that the thought to be suicidal even came over me. It was just a thought, like, "Nothing will ever get better, so what is the POINT of living?" Life can look so BLEAK when we filter the world through the lenses of failure.

Yesterday, every storefront i passed, I saw myself and how fat i am and i hated how i looked.

_ _ _

In Ohio, i was loving how i looked, i'd lost 50 lbs and was rocking a new raw vibe, exercising and eating lightly and a gourmet meal for dinner, and losing...and finding my balance!

And then i lost it... and with that, came discouragement. And overeating gourmet. And stopping exercise. And feeling HOPELESS AGAIN. And questioning what was WRONG with me? And questioning if i should CHANGE MY DIET again.

I was at the pizza shop with Cliff. Why can everyone ELSE eat pizza and be thin? What is WRONG with me? In the car driving home from North Jersey, i was staring at my fat arms in the rear view mirror on my side and was just disgusted. Do i really LOOK like that???? I never really examine my rolls so close up. Why did no one in the pizza shop look as fat as i do...even though they eat PIZZA...and i eat FRUIT and NUTS. Like, WTF, life is so fucking UNFAIR!

I was just feeling BEYOND discouraged.

_ _ _

I got my period today. Much of what i was feeling must have been PMS.

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I'm so GLAD i didn't REACT to feeling so HORRIBLY and eat compulsively or eat cooked.

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I'm telling you, I was ready to GIVE UP ON RAW. Watching everyone eating pizza, you should have seen me, crying in a pizza shop, i mean, literally tears streaming down my face. That is hard core discouragement on public display. Cliff was holding my hand eating his pizza, comforting me.

To make matters worse, then i went into the bathroom and the stall was so small, i could barely spread my legs far enough apart to wipe myself. More tears.

_ _ _

Yet i didn't take a compulsive bite. I didn't eat compulsively the ENTIRE day.

My heart was "contrite" (deep sadness), yet, despite feeling HORRIBLE, i didn't try to numb it.

Instead, I just allowed myself to feel bad, recognized all of my depressed thoughts as depressed thoughts (my meditation helps this ability), talked to Cliff when he noticed i was beyond miserable, and told him the truth of how discouraged i felt. I cried. I cried more. I watched LaRhonda's story at home later, i cried non stop through it.

_ _ _

I received the GREAT REWARD for my self!

I woke up feeling so rejuvinated...and hungry....!!!!

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And I had a GREAT day at work today!

I usually complain about having OVERDONE RAW at work, eating too much nut pate', CONSTANTLY, but i didn't today! I stayed low fat and didn't snack.

WOW! Where did all of that self control come from??? I don't know...i'm just GRATEFUL for it!

I not only did great with my food, i had so much SOARING ENERGY that it just made me feel so grateful for raw and so on fire for raw again!!!!

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PURE RAW JOY LESSON: When we overeat raw, we feel drained of energy, and we may look TOWARDS heavy raw foods "make us FEEL BETTER." This can become an obsession, like it becomes with me, looking for excitement in raw gourmet to make me feel better.

It's pointless, it doesn't work and only makes you feel WORSE, not better, and it can be incredibly difficult to break yourself free from the loop you got yourself into!

I was stuck in the loop....and it took me 2 WEEKS to break free!

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But once you break free, return to INTUITIVE EATING only when you are hungry, oh my god, raw is a JOY again!

It was a pleasure to actually FEEL TRUE HUNGER again! It tells me I'm eating appropriate amounts of food for MY BODY and that i'm not FEEDING my disease, but feeding my RECOVERY!

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I spoke with my coworker, MEGAN, today about creating a GYM WORKOUT for me because i know the more i move, the better i will feel, the thinner i will get, the more higher fat raw foods i can enjoy GUILTLESSLY without suffering such depressing consequences like enjoying them, but gaining over the last 2 weeks because i stopped exercising.

We're going to go to her gym, PLANET FITNESS, after work tomorrow!

(Guess what? Megan is maintaining an 85 lbs weight loss, never liked to exercise, and now exercises DAILY, as well as eats low fat raw, and she's cured her adrenal fatigue, which was literally KILLING her!)


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I'm singing this Sunday, July 31st at the VIBRANT Living 11am! So, come on out early to hear me sing!

All the info you need is here -

Plus, you can get discount tickets online using the word: JOY!

xoxo michelle joy

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