You cannot judge the value of a life by its quantity. It is by the joy that you are feeling. The more joyful you are, the longer you live. Let yourself relax and breathe and be free and be joyous, and romp. The optimum physical life experience is to have plenty of things that stimulate you to desire, and an awareness of the way you feel, so you're reaching for thoughts that feel good—so you're wide open, so you're tuned in, tapped in, and turned on. We promise you, the timing of your death is always chosen by you.
I'm drinking 12 (8oz) ORGANICE JUICES, 1 every hour on the hour...for 7 days straight!!
I'm supplementing my juices with the foods on my revised TRANSITION TO GREATNESS PLAN. It's working out really WELL!
I'll tell you what has had the biggest impact on me - and it has nothing to do with food. It's allowing myself to forgive myself for "failures." Instead of beating myself up relentlessly like i usually do (and then i go binge), i'm focusing on the positive, and little bumps in the road become just that, i get over them and move on. Like last night, i took a few bites of something I made for Cliff. It was almost like a test to see if i could do it without binge eating and without feeling bad/guilty. I succeeded! When you look at the whole day, it was awesome: 12 raw organice juices, steamed veggies, beans, fresh fruit, green smoothies, a salad, and 3 tastes of "normal" food. In the whole scheme of things, it was "nothing." I'm learning that now!
And today at work, i had to make some special raw vegan food for Christmas-to go-dinners. Since i don't use recipes, i have to taste what i make. That meant i had to taste some fatty, very salty things that weren't on my GREATNESS list. The instinct to beat myself up appeared, the instinct to BINGE appeared. I noticed it, and immediately applied my new rule: TO BE HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT I EAT AND NO MATTER WHAT I DO OR DO NOT DO. The feeling to binge or feel bad....vanished! I went on with the rest of my day like nothing 'bad' had ever happened. This is SO NEW! I used to obsess on any small infraction!!
THIS INTENTION - to be HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT is exceedingly powerful.
The little kernel/seed that became binge eating has very much to do with PERFECTION. I think i was criticized very heavily as a child. Things have been flooding my memory bank the past days about how it felt to be judged so harshly as a child. I used to make dinner for the family, and my father, who would come home from a hard day at work aggrivated, was never happy with what i'd cooked. His favorite expression for how it tasted was, "Pfft, fair." I have vivid memories of those dinners and feeling like a bug that someone just squashed down with their thumb. In fact, before dinner, after i got home from school, i'd binge and fall asleep to cope with what heartbreak at dinner time. I never learned to be proud of myself for what i DID, regardless if i did it well, or not. Instead, I learned to focus on FAILURE. I felt like a failure. I learned to feel BAD about about ME for ANYTHING I did that was less than PERFECT.
Now, allowing myself to accept my imperfections....is so FREEING!
Also, rather than seeing "raw food" as the cure to what ails me, as the cure to binge eating, (i think it's a part of it, i don't think it is the answer) it is now in it's proper place. First comes my ATTITUDE/FOCUS/INTENTIONS, then comes my food choices. Oh, my god, this is so IT. Just to be HAPPY no matter WHAT. The happiness is what makes you want to make good choices because you love yourself.
When we beat ourselves up for a little blip, we only want to do WORSE. It's like we're trying to force ourselves to forgive ourselves. "Like, what will it take...how bad do i have to get to get you to notice i need love?" When things get bad enough, and we're completely out of control, we usually break down and forgive ourselves and renew our intention to do better. But why do we have to wait? Why do we have derail into self destruction to notice we need love and forgiveness....RIGHT now?
Things don't have to get any worse than they already are....if we learn to notice our 'mistakes' without judgement and immediately recognize that we no longer REACT to them by feeling bad about ourselves and we don't need to beat ourselves up and we don't need to binge to cope with it.
We learn to roll with the punches.
Attitude really IS everything.
Plus, unsalted potatoes and brown rice and cooked veggies without oil and salt don't taste that great. It's easy to just have enough to satisfy hunger. Over the past two days, it's like food has taken it's rightful place as something I do to satisfy hunger instead of something i do to entertain myself. The 12 different juices are exciting, though. I never know what i'm going to get when i open the litle cup top!
Drinking the juices is fun! Every hour i have a different flavor!
I'm doing good and i'm excited.
I decided to supplement the juice feast with food so that when the feast is over, i don't crash and burn. (My friend, Joy, who is a long time raw faster pointed out this website for me that has been quite instrumental in my decision making: http://www.michelleanslan.com/. Anslan says that cooked low fat vegan food is actually healthier than super fatty gourmet raw food. I don't know if that's true or not, but for today, I'm accepting that statement as truth FOR MYSELF based on how it feels in my body. I needed a break from salt. I've been so bloated. And fatty foods give me reflux. I'm enjoying this clean whole foods "Transition Diet" eating that she talks about.)
Here's my new amended plan, which includes more on my new mindset! Much of it was inspired by teachings from my email friend and sorta miraculous sponsor, Karen, who is reading Eckhart Tolle, and getting so much out of it and sharing it with me on a daily basis. It has been incredibly powerful. Thank you, Karen! I'm tellin' ya, this is where it's at...success starts in the MIND!
TRANSITION TO GREATNESS DIET AND MINDSET
I FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE - I LOOK AT WHAT I DID/DO RIGHT.
I INTEND TO SUCCEED AND FOCUS ON HOW I WILL ACHIEVE SUCCESS EACH MORNING AND KEEP FOCUSED ALL DAY.
I CREATE AND REPEAT POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS FOR SUCCEESS.
I ACT "AS IF" I AM HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT - NO MATTER WHAT I EAT, NO MATTER WHAT I DO OR DON'T DO, NO MATTER WHAT!
I TRUST THAT GOD IS WORKING BEHIND THE SCENES AND WILL LEAD ME INTO A LIFE OF BLESSING!
I ASK MYSELF, "WHAT WOULD LOVE DO?" WHEN FACED WITH DILEMMAS.
I STRIVE TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR MY HIGHEST GOOD.
I PAY ATTENTION TO FOOD, I SAVOR, I ENJOY!
I OBSERVE WHY I AM EATING WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.
I EAT WHEN I AM HUNGRY.
I FOCUS ON MY GOAL - TO WEIGH 200 LBS - i will be so LIGHT and FREE, i will have ADVANTAGE IN AUDITIONS, i will LIVE MY LIFE'S PURPOSE, i will be BEAUTIFUL, ATTRACTIVE...and FREE from this horrible WEIGHT weighing me down PHYSICALLY, SPIRITUALLY and EMOTIONALLY!
I FOCUS ON WHAT IS OPTIMAL FOR ME TO EAT.
I EXERCISE FREQUENTLY BECAUSE IT FEELS WONDERFUL, MAKES ME HEALTHIER AND LOOK BETTER!
I DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS BECAUSE IT MAKES MY SKIN LOOK SO NICE AND IS SO GOOD FOR MY VOICE
I TAKE VITAMINERAL GREEN AND BLUE GREEN ALGAE BECAUSE IT HELPS MY DIGESTION AND IS SO FILLED WITH CHLORYFIL
I PRAY AND ASK GOD TO HELP ME ALL DAY. I SURRENDER OFTEN.
IF I CHOOSE TO EAT NON-OPTIMAL FOODS, I SAVOR AND ENJOY, MAINTAIN A HAPPY OUTLOOK NO MATTER WHAT, AND GET RIGHT BACK ON TRACK.
OPTIMAL FOODS TO TRANSITION TO GREATNESS - SALT FREE AND OIL FREE
SALAD WITH FRUIT DRESSING
SALAD WITH RAW NUT DRESSING
FRESH VEGETABLE JUICES
FRESH FRUIT JUICES
ANYTHING MADE WITH RAW VEGGIES: FRESH SALSA, VEGGIE PLATE, RAW SOUP, ETC..., ZUCCHINI SPAGHETTI AND RAW SAUCE
COOKED SQUASHES OF ANY VARIETY
COOKED GREENS OF ANY VARIETY
DR FUHRMAN SOUPS
STEAMED/COOKED PLAINTAIN/POTATOES/SWEET POTATOES
STEAMED OR WATER SAUTEED VEGGIES
PLAIN BROWN RICE
xoxo michelle joy