Thursday, April 14, 2011


Good Day!

It is an absolutely GORGEOUS day today on the East Coast. Absolutely perfect weather, lovely!

Cliffy and I had lunch outside. I hobbled downstairs to do it, but now i'm in bed. I'm not feeling great. Slightly lightheaded/dizzy, tired.

I'm off of work today and tomorrow with the toe business. I tried to put my shoe on and walk and I saw stars. ZONKS! That smarted.

It's just as well to be home nursing my big toe, because i've obviously done a doozy on my system. I seem to have needed this opportunity to rest. Thanks, God, for orchestrating it.

I'm feeling that naggy slight recurring hunger since lunch, but I'm dealing with it. I feel like i had enough to eat for lunch, and i enjoyed it VERY MUCH. I think it's just the way things will be from now on. But I think it will be revealing and interesting to monitor. When do i feel that naggy feeling? What did I eat?

In general, it might just be a shock to my poor belly the reduced overall volume. I think my ol' belly will eventually shrink and get used to not being SERIOUSLY STUFFED anymore.

After a yummy breakfast of 1-10oz mugful of berry banana shake, I was good, I mean no naggy belly. Maybe that's because it was well combined raw food.

Around 1:30p.m., I felt REALLY hungry. I don't recall if there were grumbles in the tumbles, but i knew if i didn't eat those 2 plums, i wasn't going to make it. After that, Cliff and i sat outside and shared a nice bowl of purple grapes.

Following that, I decided to join him in a cooked lunch and ate a small bowl of homemade veggie soup with asian rice noodles. I took a VERY small portion. I ate slowly. I savored.

He was very supportive. "You're doing great eating slowly, honey!" It was nice.

[My butt and legs were squoze in the outdoor furniture chair, though. A constant reminder I have a LONG way to go.]

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Cliff and I shared a wonderful prayer last night before bed. I think Weigh Down Workshop(WDW) is going to have a very positive effect on not only MY spirituality, but on his, and on our relationship as a couple. The family that prays together, stays together. He felt extra supportive at lunch maybe because of the bonding of the prayer. Our desires were in synch. We put them all up to God. I no longer wish to overeat, among other things. Neither does he, among other things. And we're in this together, asking the Big Guy to help us. Nice.

The Weigh Down is a good influence.

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How do i feel about the small bowl of cooked soup I ate for lunch?

Okay. I'm REALLY okay with it.

I really have no fear of binge eating today.

Revamping my HEALTH - - and conquering BINGE eating - - are two goals that I fear have slightly different agendas. To conquer binge eating, I feel that addressing my food WANTS is important. Why do i want to feel deprived anymore? I'm not gonna get to binge anymore, so i might as well eat what i want within meals. But returning my HEALTH to order is also a huge goal. Diabetes scare, possible high blood pressure... Raw food WILL get me to my goals the fastest. Balancing these two goals is going to be like walking a tight rope. I'll have to take it one day at a time.

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Hey, after lunch, i made a DELICIOUS 2 minute raw almond pate in the cuisinart from some leftover raw veggies and almonds. It surprised the heebyjeebies outta me how FAST it was to make, and how DELISH it came out! I'm looking forward to some of it for dinner, or for tomorrow. (I threw in the cuisinart with S blade: small amoutns of leftover red pepper, carrot, celery, garlic, onion and about 1/2 cup of raw almonds, juice of 1 lime, celtic salt and a tiny drizzle of agave. The seasoning didn't need any adjustment. Way cool, TOTALLY FAST and DELISH!!!)

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You see? I'm still in like Flynn with the raw thing! I'm just going with the flow. It's really a NICE FREE way to be today. Guilt free.

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I do hope that this will all work out for me for the best. I'm feeling positive and hopeful about it! I'm just gonna have to have FAITH that I'll get better inch by inch in each area of my life, one day at a time. I'm not gonna DIET and BINGE anymore or follow anyone else's agenda when it comes to my food or my body. I'm gonna listen to my gut, analyze, ask questions, listen to my intuition for the answers, listen to my Spirit's leading, take it a day at a time, and pray alot I'm making the right decisions!!! If RAW is indeed the way to go, 100%, the path will make itself clear.

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The title of my blog some days works FOR me and some days AGAINST me. I feel like i have to justify my choices always.

But, maybe that's a good thing. Pure Raw Joy is a constant reminder.

Most importantly, I just wanna live in Pure Joy.

No more binge eating, so no more deprivation.

I'll be working on figuring out how to make this all work. Hey, whatever works will make itself clear!

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I discovered some HIGHLY fascinating details about how my class leader, Andy Sorrells,, lost over 250 lbs with Weigh Down in only 18 months.

In response to my question, "Andy, you lost over 250 lbs in a year and a half. Did you eat saucer sized meals? How many times a day? Is it possible that you could tell me what you ate on a typical day losing weight? Do you eat more now to maintain your weight?", here's his answer:


As far as when I lost, there was no set amount that I was eating. Honestly, when I had lost about 50 lbs and was close to 500 pounds and being 6'3, I found that I was really only hungry about once a day. I didn't get hungry until about 2 or 3 in the afternoon and by that time, I knew I'd be driving home to my wife and kids soon, so I waited until I could eat with my family. Just to give you an example of what I was eating: 1/2 of a Hot Pocket (or something like the size of one White Castle burger), a small salad (say a cereal bowl), and then maybe one Hershey's kiss for dessert. Yes, I know it's not a lot for a full day, but it was all my body needed. Actually, to put it into perspective, God allowed me to read Ezekiel Chapter 4 this week. God had Ezekiel bound for 390 days. In those 390 days, he was commanded to eat 20 shekels of food per day, I got curious and looked up how much a shekel was, roughly a 1/3 to 1/2 an ounce. So, Ezekiel was eating 10 ounces or less of food per day, that's not much. Our bodies were built to serve God, so taking care of them is important and that starts with the heart. If the heart is not right with God, the body suffers. As far as now and maintaining weight, I usually eat small in the morning (a small bowl of cereal), have a light snack (maybe an orange) and then a small dinner (half a burger, small salad, small dessert). I hope this helps. thanks for sharing and please let me know if you need anything at all.


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10 oz of food a day? From my calculations using, that's no more than 500 cals a day when he was losing. And not much more than 1,000 cals/day now.


Yet, for all of the hullabahoo about the the no diet approach - eat whatever you want - cheeseburgers, brownies, cheesecake - the no diet-diet approach is still a diet. It's just severe portion control. You CAN eat whatever you want, if you're only gonna eat 10 oz of it a day. I could go on the foix gras diet. 10 oz of foix gras is only 1300 cals.

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I think of Dustin Kellogg who lost 150 lbs,, eating his wife's most amazing raw gourmet conconctions, pies, exotic raw entrees, amazing first class raw fare,, and I ask myself, "Which way do YOU want to go?"

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I recall my OWN immensely enjoyable raw gourmet meals bi and tri-weekly at Cilantros and Ranchos in San Diego, CA. MMMMmmmm, delish! Yes, i didn't generally eat dinner when i did these lunches. I'd had my fruit for breakfast and then the most wondrous raw lunch complete with appetizer, entree, peice of pie for dessert, sometimes a baggie of raw chocolate afterwards. And i lost 140 lbs in 8 months indulging like this several times a week along with lowfat no-salt raw at the retreat. Yes, i walked my butt off and swam several times a week. (But i also enjoyed EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF my newfound mobility and ENERGY and enjoyed those times in nature and in the water with all of my heart! I never exercised to lose weight. I exercised because I wanted to get around, I didn't have a car, and because I simply....ENJOYED it!

Whew, those times are really something to think about, to remember, to ponder.... Those 8 months at OHI were for me so wondrous, so magical, such a FINE combination of discipline mixed with healhty indulgence and raptorous movement. The weight dropped off of me like butter slipping off of hot corn...

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Cliff asked after hearing about the 10 oz meals, "Does he exercise?"

(Cliff used to be BIG into exercise, not for weight loss, for PLEASURE, so he knows that when a person exercises, they expend MONGO calories and must EAT MORE.)

"No," I answered. "Weigh Down people are not into exercise. They don't feel they NEED to do it to lose weight."

They probably don't have the ENERGY to do it!

I had SOOO much, ENDLESS energy at OHI. I'd start walking and just wouldn't stop. I'd start swimming and go for an hour. Magical glory days.... The memories are seered in my mind, just as the memories of walking the hills of Manayunk are summers ago when I started this blog, losing weight with 811, feeling so in control of myself, only to terribly lose control with each encounter of raw gourmet. Had I been able to control it, like I did at the retreat, I might have lost ALL of my weight, and might NEVER have gone off of raw...

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My books and CD for the Weigh Down class finally arrived in the mail. Curious to read through them! Still, I'm takin' what I want and leavin' the rest.

So glad to be able to share all of this here, memories, hopes, dreams, suppositions, realizations. To have the forum for REALLY analyzing this process and really communicating what lies in my heart, my soul, my brain, as I go through it, is just a miraculous gift. Thank you for hearing me. Thank you for listening to me.

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It is my GREAT JOY to write here, and someday, i KNOW, I'll figure this all out....and I'm gonna be SOOO HAPPY and SKINNY when i do!

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About 8:30pm, I was definitely hungry. I wanted a big refreshing green smoothie! 4 small bananas and 3/4 of a head of red leaf lettuce, Yum!

Sometime over an later, I was still hungry. Literally 4 bitefuls of warm millet with cut up tomato and steamed broccoli did the trick. Amazing how when you're really hungry, everything tastes DELICIOUS! With each bite, the taste got fainter and fainter. So i stopped. Wow!

Excited i get to eat again tomorrow, and be hungry for it!
xoxo michelle

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