Wednesday, April 13, 2011



I've had the opportunity to write alot...

Because I BROKE my TOE!

If the Diabetic episode on Monday night wasn't enough, on the way to the bathroom that same night, I tripped over my own toe, and pain shot through my big toe like a hot poker.

I've been hobbling ever since. The entire big toe on my left foot is a blueish purple and hurts like the devil if i even move it a miniscule. It's broken alright...

It's actually been incredibly fortunate, for it has meant, no more freedom to go down to the kitchen for a binge, or to get in the car any old time and drive to Wendy's or McDonald's for a binge... I'm stuck in my bedroom, and the truth is, it has been a blessing. I have re-entered the land of self control by means of God's control. I just know He did this to help me.

Cliff served me my meals yesterday and i asked for 2 fruit smoothies, 1 plate of cut up raw veggies with 2 oz. of walnuts and almonds, and 1 green smoothie. He offered to go out to get me "something," but I amazed myself because I declined.

I wanna be raw. Did you think you'd hear me say that again? With the diabetes now, things are different. I don't wanna be a diabetic. And soon i won't be one, all because of raw.

And, i've been feeling these fibbrilations in my heart, flutters that last 30 seconds. They scare me.

I'm scared. I pray to God I don't lose this healthy fear for my health.

So, i've been RAW for 2 entire days, and just had a wonderful smoothie for bkfast, s i'm on my third day...and GOD orchestrated the entire episode, i just know it! He knew i needed to just go to 'rehab' per se....and well, here I am, in my bedroom! In rehabs you have little freedom, right? Well, the toe has incapacitated me so, that i have little freedom. JUST WHAT I NEEDED...TO GET BACK ON TRACK.

Also, my knees had been KILLING me, as well as my back. I think this rest is going to be good for my digestion, my blood sugar, my joints and back, my heart, my allergies, my reflux. It's not only a rest in bed for my toe, it's a rest in my internal organs, eating low fat raw again.

Last night, i watched another of the WDW videotapes offered in my online class, and I came away from it incredibly moved and uplifted.

They are really on to something there.

Okay, so i'm eating raw, which is AWESOMMMMMEEEE!!!!

But, you know why these WDW people succeed??? Because even if they eat the WORST fried twinkies and bacon and shit, they've learned to control themselves.

I don't agree that every food is the same. I'm making the CHOICE for raw today, but when the day comes that I choose to eat cooked, maybe it will be soon, I will do like the WDW people, and consider each cooked morsel a holy blessing from God.

I'm not gonna "fall from raw" anymore into a binge, scarfing up everything I can in sight until my next diet. They call that being GREEDY...and you know what? I'm a Greedy bastard. Cooked food is SOOO delish, we have to follow certain important rules:

- wait for TRUE hunger
- rate the foods on your plate
- divide your plate up or take small portions, the size of a saucer plate
- savor each bite
- tiny bites
- sip something in between bites to slow you down
- fill each bite with gratitude and love
- give up remorse and guilt. God makes all food clean.

I'm hoping our knowledge and love and experience with RAW will be strong enough to pull us back. I think it's possible. This will be my journey soon to find out.

So, i'm taking what i'm learning at WDW and tweeking it. I don't feel i'm in rebellion. I'm improving it! Someday when i am thin for many years, there will be the PURE RAW JOY WORKSHOP for food obsessed women, and we will show them the way!

I was a little irked with the 1st WDW class, but for today I'm REALLY happy to be in this program. I'm gaining alot. I think this, coupled with RAW, is the answer for me. I know, i say that about a lot of things, but you can't fault me for trying to find the answer.

I just discovered you can do WDW at home for FREE! Click here:

I'm on a mission, and not just for myself, for every other obese binge eating lady out there who has no hope. And it's all (alot of it) documented.

The Marianne Williamson book is GREAT, and I'm appreciative it woke me up to God, but it didn't offer ME enough support to just read, or enough of a practical message for how to deal with the food for me to stick with it. I'm happy to be in a class now with so much reinforcement available. I'll get back to reading it some day soon.

Cliff's downstairs making smoothies for us!

I smile a big broad smile when i realize that i'm back in pure raw joy. Pure raw joy is a choice now that i make with such a sense of gratitude. The hell of binge eating is over. WDW teaches it has NOTHING to do with the food, but with the state of our hearts and minds. If we fall in love with God, and abide by certain eating principles to slow us down, we are saved, in Grace. All of us are also blessed enough to have encountered the RAW message, which we must keep forefront in our minds. RAW food is superior to heal, to cleanse, to rejuvenate.

By applying the wisdom of WDW to my heart, mind, and self control, coupled with the wisdom of raw, i'm able to heal all parts of myself. It finally all makes sense.

How lucky am I?

xoxo, michelle joy


Megabites said...

I'm so glad I tuned in on a positive note :) I hope your toe get's better soon!

Just think about how amazing and clean your body felt when you were all raw. The weight and aches and pains just melted away. You could fill up on any of your favorite fruits, eat the most flavorful, fresh and delicious salads, make the coolest banana whip and smoothie concoctions.

Raw food let's your beauty shine through, let's you be yourself,
do what you REALLY desire to do.
No binge will ever fill the hole, only you can, with your love and gratitude.

Love you lots!

Karen said...

Hi Michelle,

I haven't looked at it in detail, but there is a support website for the Williamson book I don't know if there are on-line classes, but there is a discussion forum, and people are organizing in-person groups to work through the material together. I agree that support can make all the difference. Love, Karen