Tuesday, November 29, 2011


The answer to the question, "To be...or not to be"...is to BE!!

RAW, that is!!

After the oatmeal, things degraded and my raw diet fell apart.

It had been an entire week of raw bliss that disintigrated. I'd lost weight, my reflux was improved, the lump on my leg diminished, the dizzy feeling went away, i was feeling hopeful and energized, i started exercising again.

Then I forgot I wasn't "normal." I forgot I am a cooked food addict and indulged in cooked food. One thing led to another as they say and soon my eating was out of control again.

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So, choosing to get back on track, I'm re-committing to 100% raw.

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Tomorrow I go to NYC for my singing lesson with my old teacher, Badiene. We've been doing a bartering, where I work for her the entire afternoon and evening after my voice lesson. I do secretarial work & cleaning, and it seems to be working out so far. Since i'll be away all day and am recommitted to raw, I just made my lunch and dinner pate' to take with me to NYC, and I'll take some raw bread, i'll buy salad, smoothie, juice. I should be fine.

The pate' i just made is so freaking delish, i wanted to share with you the recipe!!!

You must prepare the almonds for the recipe, so please follow these directions:

Soak 8oz. organic almonds. Ideally, they should soak overnight.

Blanch in the following manner to retain raw nutrients and enzymes. After soaking, drain the almonds of their soaking water and place them in a large bowl. Pour very hot water (not boiling) over the nuts and let them sit in the water for about 1 minute. Then drain them with a collander, rinse them, and follow these directions to dejacket.

Place the blanched almonds on a plate, and while sitting in front of the TV for entertainment, pop the little brown jackets off of the almonds. Place the white almonds in a container. (De-jacketing improves their flavor, not to mention the color of the pate'.)

With the pristine white almonds, do the recipe. (Discard the jackets in the trash or find a use for them, if you like.)

FYI - Soaking nuts/seeds, (from what i learned at OHI), reduces their fat by 40%, and turns them into more of a vegetable because they begin to sprout. "Germinating" (soaking) nuts changes their internal chemistry. The nuts "think" they are in the earth (they don't know they are in a bowl.) The water awakens them from their "dormant" (sleeping) state (they think it's raining) and begins the process of growing them into an almond tree. The almond starts feeding on it's own fat (the process of germination). We eat them up before they could ever turn into a tree, but they don't know that!!! They are working hard to change themselves and transform themselves into LIVING BEINGS that are no longer sleeping.

It is very very good to soak nuts and seeds. It reduces their fat and improves their digestibility. It also removes something called ENZYME INHIBITORS, a natural protection in the nuts that helps them maintain their sleeping state. (Dormant nuts last indefinately due to enzyme inhibitors. We don't want to ideally eat these sleeping almonds. We want to eat almonds that have begun the transformation/life process. p.s Germinated nuts have a much shorter shelf life. You can keep germinated nuts in the fridge for really less than 1 week (they will eventually sour), or dehydrate them at 105 degrees to restore their indefinite shelf life.

You should also have a lot less gas if you soak your nuts/seeds.

In a food processor with S blade, process:

8oz. of organic almonds, germinated, blanched and de-jacketed (see directions above)
juice of 1 medium lemon
2 big handfuls of fresh basil
2 large carrots, chopped
2 large ribs of celery, chopped
2 garlic cloves
1 Tbsp purple onion
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
celtic salt, to taste
6 shakes of cayenne pepper

While processing, stream in 1/4-1/2 cup of water. Add more or less to achieve desired texture of pate'. With spatula, scrape down sides of processor during processing.

When finished, this pate' will be smooth, but have a grainy texture. No matter, it is so freakin' delish, you won't mind.

A non-germinated cashew pate' on the other hand will be VERY creamy, but much higher in fat.

Almonds are the KING of nuts. Germinated? MUCH LOWER FAT! I used to make this pate' with olive oil. Why? It doesn't need it!!

Lasts 10 days refrigerated.

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I really hope you enjoy this pate'! Please let me know if you try my recipes and if they taste good and work out for you! Have you tried the asparagus soup?? It was so yummy! And this pate' is healthy AND delish!!!!

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Do you consider yourself a cooked food addict?

Experience is showing me that I am one. I knew it when I was at OHI. That's why I never veered off of the plan. I didn't trust myself to stop eating cooked if i started. For 3.5 years as a raw vegan, I knew I was a cooked food addict, so i never had "just a little."

As soon as I began to open the gates to cooked food with cooked beans, I began to gain weight, eat more and more and more cooked food...until I gained back over 100lbs.

Experience will show that raw foods worked for me. Cooked foods have confused and confounded me and have helped me gain weight and lose control.

Maybe someday in the future, when I am more spiritually strong, I will be able to handle some cooked foods. For today, it only opens a door that is best left shut.

I'm so glad to have gotten back on the horse! Fall down, go boom. Get right back up on the saddle.

xoxo michelle joy

Monday, November 28, 2011


A wonderful supportive friend of mine, Karen, sent me this amazing affirmation:

"Thank you for the miracles that come my way when i postpone eating (when i am not hungry.)"

That is interesting that little part in quotes "when i am not hungry."

I had an episode last night of postponing eating when i was hungry. I was at Arnold's Way after my opera, and was very very hungry. I felt like a "cheezesteak," which was really really good and satisfying, but after, i wanted something more. I didn't know what. I was looking around Arnold's Way, considering my options. I wanted a peice of raw pie, but know it is very fatty and i have to sing again tonight. Best for me to eat fatty ealier for the sake of my reflux or not at all.

So, then my miracle came. Out from the kitchen walks Ronit, Arnold's daughter, who now works there, with a supersize green smoothie in her hand, and asked if i wanted it - it was extra and i could have it for free. My little miracle. It filled me, and it was a good lowfat choice! Thank you, God. It felt like a gift and like God took care of me.

A wonderful affirmation. Thank you, Karen! (p.s. Karen memorizes her affirmations, an astounding practice that is having remarkable results in her life, among other things like Eckhart Tolle's teachings).

Today i am one week raw, yay, but i had cooked food yesterday. It makes everything unsure now.

I'd left the house before the opera, full on a smoothie, but by the time we got to the performance area 45 mins later, Cliff was starving and so was I. Smoothies don't hold you that long if you drink "brunch" late. It was 1:30pm already and I was hungry prematurely according to my plans. Yes, I had almonds in my purse for such an occasion, but didn't 'feel' like almonds.

We were at Wendy's (the hamburger place). Cliff got a chicken sandwhich, and i, starving, didn't want another salad. Hm, a plain dry baked potato, on the other hand, which wasn't in the plan for my new raw diet, seemed like an excellent option at that time: low fat, energizing, whole food right before the opera.

It was delicious dry, no butter or salt and i had no guilt afterwards. Frankly, i forgot about it. I had dinner at Arnold's after the opera as I was still thinking "raw," and a smoothie before i went to bed, still on "raw" mode.

The problem is, now i woke up this morning and all i want is oatmeal. 5 mins i thought about it lying in bed. I woke up hungry. And for the last hour, i've written about it.

What will be the consequences? What other thing will i want next? Am i being sensible....listening to my body....or am i an addict?

It's hard to say. I don't know which it is.

What is this time about, this new decision for raw.... Is this for me to go raw 100%... Or is this a time for me to learn to eat raw and cooked "right" (low fat, whole foods, etc...) And who is running this ship, anyway?

I started to write again on the blog. Hello. i'm "raw" Michelle Joy again.

And suddenly, i don't know who i am, what to do, what i want, what is "right" for me.

Oatmeal never killed anyone, but what is next?

Am i walking into a hole again or am i making a safe informed decision?

I didn't know what to do, so i decided to just take my Vitamineral Green instead (a supplement I've been taking for like months...since i last blogged), and now i'm writing and haven't eaten yet and am still hungry.

I know some of you eat some cooked, and some of you do not. Writing again feels awesome, and i'm sure some of you will say some "healthy" cooked is FINE, but if i asked some others of you, 100% raw, you'd say, "Michelle, you are in danger!"

Am i? Or am i not?

The alcoholic who takes his first sip of wine. The compulsive eater who takes the first compulsive bite. The cooked food addict that had a taste of a delicious hot steaming baked potato and now wants MORE of that sort.

Isn't this all up to me and what i WANT??? Do i want raw? Do i want cooked? Do i want a combination? I'm really not sure what I want to do, and, well, i guess it is just up to me and i have to CHOOSE.

What do i want in this life? Is it my goal to be the next raw star? To finally get THIN writing my raw cookbooks and doing my raw videos? I thought it was, just a few days ago. Or am I the aspiring opera singer, the one who will sing at the MET? What IS this life of mine????

Friday, I was at Arnold's and i was thinking...i'll be dead soon. What do i want to leave this world? Some of my music will be nice, but what about raw? Don't i want to impact people after i'm dead? My books and videos will still be here. So will my blog. If i finally FIGURE this out, isn't that....like amazing? It seems like a good goal.

Then i get ooky about how raw sometimes feels like a CULT. Am i just BRAINWASHED??? What is the point of eating in such a way so that we can stay young when we are all dying daily anyway? I can get very philosophical about raw.

Wait, more to the point - IS RAW THE ANSWER TO CURING OBESITY AND BINGE EATING? OR NOT? That is REALLY why I'm here.

Some would say YES. Others who have overcome obesity and binge eating on cooked would say NO.


What do i WANT?

Anyway, to add to the matter, i spent 100$ at Arnolds last night buying my raw paraphernalia: nutritional yeast and seeds and almonds and nori, etc... I felt i needed to be more stocked and able to make my pleasant raw meals at home now that i was raw again, and to have something to work with so i am not tempted to eat cooked. (I'd forgotten about the potato, hm.) Is that evidence i can eat "healthy" cooked in the moment...and still go back to raw without fear/guilt/regret and without starting a binge?

I'd planned on soaking my seeds/nuts to make them lowfat and more digestible, better for my reflux, better for my weight. My goal was to do raw "better." Because raw can be VERY high fat. Actually, Dr. Fuhrman's diet, raw veggies and raw fruit...and cooked veggies and beans and only a LITTLE bit of nuts, etc... is probably the wisest/healthiest for reflux and weight....and NOT RAW: Nuts, oils, avocado in excess DO aggrivate my reflux. They do. And come on, they are HARD not to overdo.

Why does FOOD have to be so complicated?

I know using the word "better" is a judgement, Karen tells me. I wanted to do raw "better," I told her. I wanted to be more obedient to the things i have learned that improve raw food, I told her. I just wanted to do raw - in a newer way this time. I wanted to succeed.

Success can take many forms.

Does it have to be black/white, one or the other? Raw or not raw?

Unfortunately, with me, that's the way things TEND to go based on experience, black and white. I start with a baked potato and next thing you know, i'm at Auntie Anne's buying a hotdogs stuffed into pretzel. Who am I kidding? I'd buy 3 of them!

BUT, if all we have is THIS PRESENT MOMENT, as Karen is teaching me (Eckhart Tolle teachings), we have no past, no future, etc..., then, do the lessons of our experience/past/failures mean anything? Karen strives to live in the moment with food. She practices wiping away all memories of the food she has just eaten after she is done eating it. No guilt, regret. No judgement.

When i am good and centered and thoughtful and totally uncompulsive like i feel today, oatmeal feels absolutely non threatening and that it will not hurt me in the slightest or "cause" a binge or cause obesity. I just fear my desires when lunch time comes. Am i going to want to crack open that can of garbanzos i've been staring at? Am i going to want to cook up the quinoa i found yesterday cleaning out the cubbard? And those things are not BAD at ALL. I believe they are all healthy. I just don't know if i can TRUST myself.

Is this a time to find out? or is this a time to FEAR those desires???

Is raw really the magic cure for obesity?

"You cannot get fat on raw plant food." David Wolfe

David Wolfe obviously never saw me devour 10 bags of Brad's Raw Chips in one sitting.

The other day i made this amazing raw asparagus soup. I NEVER would have done that had i not been thinking RAW. It only had 10 macademia nuts in it, a whole head of asparagus, the rest water and veggies, no oil. It was a huge bowl of soup and sooooo delish. I was so extremely proud of mysself. I was "doing good" - like this was improvement for me and the "new" raw, not so nut-centered.

I just don't know if I start eating cooked, where it will end. Because you have to admit, cooked TASTES so much more comforting, warmer, more succulent, more tempting for sure, than raw. That asparagus soup would have been kick-ass cooked...

Do i care about health (enzymes/nutrition)?

Or taste?

If i'd have been proactive at arnold's i'd have bought some chia seeds so i could make a chia pudding for breakfast. That is hearty and filling in the winter time. Going raw in winter is a more challenging time. I don't really "WANT" a cold smoothie right now.

ADDENDUM: Cliff just came down and asked if I wanted a smoothie. I said, "I don't know. Do you?" He answered, "Not really. I'm kind of smoothie'd out."

For Cliff, food is not something he plans, thinks about. He gets hungry, he eats. That is what naturally thin people do. Naturally thin people also postpone eating until they know exactly what they want.

Since i have now postponed for HOURS now, will I have a miracle today and God will step in with a solution? Or will I take the reigns and make a CHOICE?

Roy Masters www.fhu.com, my guru, is fond of teaching, "Know that you do not know, and soon you will know."

Thanks for listening. I wonder what I'll do?!

xoxox Michelle Joy

Saturday, November 26, 2011


Hi friends,

6 days raw and back to visit with you!

The quick update....
I guess you could say I hit a 'bottom,' and just realized that even if i did binge on gourmet raw, RAW was so much BETTER for me and i did so much BETTER on raw than on cooked.

Plus, some things began to scare me. I'd found a lump on my leg, had been suffering from dizzy spells (high blood pressure? diabetes? mineurs disease?), and i'd reached a high of 350lbs, again, etc..., not to mention being depressed and hopeless.

I spoke to my friend, Megan. (http://www.meganelizabeth.com/) "I'm not doing well, Megan. And i know it just takes me WANTING to do well... Like you are, manifesting it. You're doing so great being positive and creating so much prosperity in your life." She answered, "Oh, Michelle, I know it's hard to see when you're not "in it". That just really hit home with me. I was in a serious funk and couldn't see "the forrest through the trees."

It was time for a change. It had been over 1.5 years back on cooked after 3.5 years as a raw vegan. I guess we all need to test the waters from time to time and see if the grass is greener.

I don't think it was. For the freedom you gain in being able to eat everywhere, suddenly you're faced with temptation at every turn. Raw is actually EASIER.

All in all, i couldn't make cooked work for me. Steamed veggies degraded into pulled pork and brisket and double cheeseburger binges, and I found, as hard as i tried, I just couldn't maintain a healthy cooked diet for more than a week without falling and gaining everything back.

There comes a time when you just have to say, "This is not working."

So many eating disorder books say, "it's not about the food, it's about your emotions."

I've learned, it is about your emotions. But it's also about the food. Raw food raises your mood, helps you detatch from fast food and too much temptation, helps you return to eating following hunger/fullness, helps you lose weight, improves your health, improves your outlook, gives you a reason to exist (to help others), offers you tons of support and a community of like-minded people.

Traditional eating disorder treatment most often includes anti-depressants and other pharmaceutical mood enhancers. I didn't want to go there, so the choice is clear - go natural, and your mood is raised naturally!

So, folks, I've learned a lot and feel grateful to have come to the decision to go back on raw.

Asking for support was what really helped push me over the edge. My raw friends had been discouraged for me in my present state of degrading health and it just became too painful to keep dissappointing them - I wanted to be proud of myself again and have them be proud of me. I sent a note to all of my friends at Arnold's Way, and to some of you who i've gotten close to, and asked for their/your support. The action of doing that and their heartwarming responsiveness just propelled me forward.

I came to realize that God will not swoop down and take the food out of your mouth. Nor will most of your friends push you. Bottom line - you just have to take action and change your behaviors.

After I wrote them, i'd set something in motion that i couldn't, without great embarrassment, stop. If I fell off, i wasn't just letting myself down, i was letting them down. (Somehow, the blog became not enough reason to stay raw. I had complained for so long on it, it lost it's mojo. With my friends behind me, now, I feel a real push. And a desire to connect with you again.)

To think I felt so hopeless and that there was no solution just a week ago..... It is amazing what gumption we have in us if we just believe, figure out finally and go after what we want, and ask for help, and just decide to make it happen. Suddenly, you have the power to do what you didn't think you could do. An important life lesson.

I also have been praying to God regularly and I believe God is really directing my steps.

SO. More on what's been happening since we've been out of touch at another time, k?!

I want to tell you about the fabulous soup i just had for lunch!

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So freakin' delish!!!

So this is the scoop: I'd had some asparagus in the fridge...for a WEEK (i keep in a bowl of water, the stems, to keep fresh, really really works) that i've been dying to use for the amazing cream of asparagus raw soup a friend of mine made once at a raw potluck and i recreated many, many times thereafter, because it was so freakin' delicious, soooo savory! The original recipe was made with avocado and lemon juice and nutritional yeast, and, yes, uy, it is so freaking delish. But i didn't have any of that, so what's a raw chef to do?


I was sooooo hungry and opened the fridge and when i spotted the asparagus, i went, "AHHA!!!!"

Then i saw the dried up avocado and cut into it and winced, "Ehhhh!" Black. That wouldn't work.

Then i searched for lemons. NONE! Would i use vinegar? It will taste like asparagus salad dressing!

Then i spotted the orange on the counter. THAT might work! It's citrus, right?

Excitedly, i got out the asparagus, snipped the bottom ends off and threw away, stuffed the good part into the vitamix with the ingredients below and had just ANOTHER INCREDIBLE OFF THE CUFF variation of the creamy asparagus soup i've made so many times, and, oh my god, it was so good!!!

I was very hungry and, whew, slurped up the entire humongous bowl which was enough servings for 4 people, i think! But there was only like 8 macademia nuts in it, the rest veggies and water, so it was not terribly high fat!!!

In Vitamix:
- about 2 cups of water
- 1 head of asparagus, bottom ends cut off
- 1/2 lg garlic clove or 1 small
- chunk of red onion, about 2 tbsp
- 1 large carrot
- 8 small macademia nuts (or any nut, or 1/2 -1 avocado, the original ingredient in the recipe)
- himalyan sea salt to taste
- lots of black pepper (abundant black pepper in the key to this soup)
- juice of 1 orange (or juice of 1/2 lemon) (Surprisingly, the orange gave no overt "orange" flavor, and just lifted the soup in brightness, which is all it really needed, my god, awesome, i'll use the orange again in this!)

I whirred up in vitamix for about 3-4 mins until it was slightly warm.

Mmmmmmmmmm, was so good!

I didn't miss the nutritional yeast...!! And it didn't taste too macademia-ish. What a success....it just tasted like amazing cream of asparagus soup!

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Please make it and let me know how you enjoyed it! I'm going to be writing a raw recipe book and would love your input/feedback!

Say HI and let me know how you are doing!

xoxo raw chef michelle joy

Monday, November 21, 2011

THANKSGIVING DINNER ~ Raw ~ Organic~ Vegan ~ TO GO....FOR TWO!

By Chef MICHELLE of Arnold's Way & Mostly Raw Catering


*2 side salads with Michelle's Special Vinaigrette

*8oz Savory Holiday Pecan Mushroom Stuffing

*8oz Cauliflower Cashew Mashed "Potatoes"

*8oz Zesty Braised Lemon Kale

*8oz Creamy Dreamy Cole Slaw

*4 oz Cranberry Sauce

*4 oz Marvelous Mushroom Gravy

*2 slices Orange Pecan "Pumpkin" Pie


You know everything will be absolutely delicious. My guarantee!

It's such a BLESSING to be able to make this healthy HOLIDAY meal available to you! I had been asked to create a dinner like this, available to-go. Since I am already making it, maybe you would enjoy it as well? It will make the holiday so much easier. Just inconspicuously fill your plate out of sight with your raw delights....walk into the dining room...and your friends and family will be none the wiser!

To make it worthwhile, we need at least 3 orders. Please call me RIGHT AWAY.

Available to pick up at Arnold's Way on ~ WEDNESDAY, Nov 23rd after 3pm ~ (Or in Manayunk, where I live, after 5pm)

...PRE-ORDER directly from Chef Michelle

by NOON on Tuesday, Nov 22nd!

Pre-pay by credit card over the phone.

Contact Chef Michelle directly to place your order!
~ 215-284-6525 ~

*Please pre-advise of any food allergies