6 days raw and back to visit with you!
The quick update....
I guess you could say I hit a 'bottom,' and just realized that even if i did binge on gourmet raw, RAW was so much BETTER for me and i did so much BETTER on raw than on cooked.
Plus, some things began to scare me. I'd found a lump on my leg, had been suffering from dizzy spells (high blood pressure? diabetes? mineurs disease?), and i'd reached a high of 350lbs, again, etc..., not to mention being depressed and hopeless.
I spoke to my friend, Megan. (http://www.meganelizabeth.com/) "I'm not doing well, Megan. And i know it just takes me WANTING to do well... Like you are, manifesting it. You're doing so great being positive and creating so much prosperity in your life." She answered, "Oh, Michelle, I know it's hard to see when you're not "in it". That just really hit home with me. I was in a serious funk and couldn't see "the forrest through the trees."
It was time for a change. It had been over 1.5 years back on cooked after 3.5 years as a raw vegan. I guess we all need to test the waters from time to time and see if the grass is greener.
I don't think it was. For the freedom you gain in being able to eat everywhere, suddenly you're faced with temptation at every turn. Raw is actually EASIER.
All in all, i couldn't make cooked work for me. Steamed veggies degraded into pulled pork and brisket and double cheeseburger binges, and I found, as hard as i tried, I just couldn't maintain a healthy cooked diet for more than a week without falling and gaining everything back.
There comes a time when you just have to say, "This is not working."
So many eating disorder books say, "it's not about the food, it's about your emotions."
I've learned, it is about your emotions. But it's also about the food. Raw food raises your mood, helps you detatch from fast food and too much temptation, helps you return to eating following hunger/fullness, helps you lose weight, improves your health, improves your outlook, gives you a reason to exist (to help others), offers you tons of support and a community of like-minded people.
Traditional eating disorder treatment most often includes anti-depressants and other pharmaceutical mood enhancers. I didn't want to go there, so the choice is clear - go natural, and your mood is raised naturally!
So, folks, I've learned a lot and feel grateful to have come to the decision to go back on raw.
Asking for support was what really helped push me over the edge. My raw friends had been discouraged for me in my present state of degrading health and it just became too painful to keep dissappointing them - I wanted to be proud of myself again and have them be proud of me. I sent a note to all of my friends at Arnold's Way, and to some of you who i've gotten close to, and asked for their/your support. The action of doing that and their heartwarming responsiveness just propelled me forward.
I came to realize that God will not swoop down and take the food out of your mouth. Nor will most of your friends push you. Bottom line - you just have to take action and change your behaviors.
After I wrote them, i'd set something in motion that i couldn't, without great embarrassment, stop. If I fell off, i wasn't just letting myself down, i was letting them down. (Somehow, the blog became not enough reason to stay raw. I had complained for so long on it, it lost it's mojo. With my friends behind me, now, I feel a real push. And a desire to connect with you again.)
To think I felt so hopeless and that there was no solution just a week ago..... It is amazing what gumption we have in us if we just believe, figure out finally and go after what we want, and ask for help, and just decide to make it happen. Suddenly, you have the power to do what you didn't think you could do. An important life lesson.
I also have been praying to God regularly and I believe God is really directing my steps.
SO. More on what's been happening since we've been out of touch at another time, k?!
I want to tell you about the fabulous soup i just had for lunch!
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* RAW VEGAN CREAM OF ASPARAGUS SOUP *
So freakin' delish!!!
So this is the scoop: I'd had some asparagus in the fridge...for a WEEK (i keep in a bowl of water, the stems, to keep fresh, really really works) that i've been dying to use for the amazing cream of asparagus raw soup a friend of mine made once at a raw potluck and i recreated many, many times thereafter, because it was so freakin' delicious, soooo savory! The original recipe was made with avocado and lemon juice and nutritional yeast, and, yes, uy, it is so freaking delish. But i didn't have any of that, so what's a raw chef to do?
I was sooooo hungry and opened the fridge and when i spotted the asparagus, i went, "AHHA!!!!"
Then i saw the dried up avocado and cut into it and winced, "Ehhhh!" Black. That wouldn't work.
Then i searched for lemons. NONE! Would i use vinegar? It will taste like asparagus salad dressing!
Then i spotted the orange on the counter. THAT might work! It's citrus, right?
Excitedly, i got out the asparagus, snipped the bottom ends off and threw away, stuffed the good part into the vitamix with the ingredients below and had just ANOTHER INCREDIBLE OFF THE CUFF variation of the creamy asparagus soup i've made so many times, and, oh my god, it was so good!!!
I was very hungry and, whew, slurped up the entire humongous bowl which was enough servings for 4 people, i think! But there was only like 8 macademia nuts in it, the rest veggies and water, so it was not terribly high fat!!!
RAW VEGAN CREAM OF ASPARAGUS SOUP
- about 2 cups of water
- 1 head of asparagus, bottom ends cut off
- 1/2 lg garlic clove or 1 small
- chunk of red onion, about 2 tbsp
- 1 large carrot
- 8 small macademia nuts (or any nut, or 1/2 -1 avocado, the original ingredient in the recipe)
- himalyan sea salt to taste
- lots of black pepper (abundant black pepper in the key to this soup)
- juice of 1 orange (or juice of 1/2 lemon) (Surprisingly, the orange gave no overt "orange" flavor, and just lifted the soup in brightness, which is all it really needed, my god, awesome, i'll use the orange again in this!)
I whirred up in vitamix for about 3-4 mins until it was slightly warm.
Mmmmmmmmmm, was so good!
I didn't miss the nutritional yeast...!! And it didn't taste too macademia-ish. What a success....it just tasted like amazing cream of asparagus soup!
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Please make it and let me know how you enjoyed it! I'm going to be writing a raw recipe book and would love your input/feedback!
Say HI and let me know how you are doing!
xoxo raw chef michelle joy