My name is Michelle Joy Schulman and I am a raw vegan chef and opera singer, who has lost over 14olbs on a raw vegan diet. I have been trying my entire life to stake claim to my middle name "JOY," and to finally be done with a life of weight gain, overweight and out of control eating. I've made A HUGE AMOUNT of progress along my raw vegan journey, but still have a long way to go. I want to return to a normal weight, finally be in control of food, sing, perform, live in bliss and in pure raw JOY!
My highest weight was 425lbs 2.5 years ago, and things were so bad then - I could hardly walk and i binged compulsively on fast food in huge amounts. I had sleep apnea, snored like a buzzsaw, had horrible reflux laryngitis and was depressed and hopeless. Those days are gone forever, thank God, but I'm still struggling with emotional eating - even though it is vegan and raw... Gourmet raw foods can be so entirely decadent...my sensual foody nature goes absolutely berzerk! I lose total control...and cannot stop moving my hand to my mouth!!!
As a raw vegan, my lowest weight was 254 lbs. I succeeded in losing over 171 lbs. That was a little over 2 weeks ago.
I now weigh 277.
I've gained 23 lb in two weeks. That is frightening.
How did i do it? By stuffing myself silly with the saltiest, fattiest raw gourmet foods, in large amounts, eating for pleasure up to 10-20x a day, having what Dr. Phil calls, "a party in my mouth". Add to that zero exercise, and with my system (prone to weight gain and entirely prone to WATER RETENTION), oila', embarrassing rapid weight gain.
Yes, it tasted DIVINE...but my ankles are swelled up, my rings won't fit, my face and body...i don't recognize anymore. I had just been coming off of 3 weeks of 80-10-10ing, my butt was shrinking, my face was thin, i received so many compliments, i felt and looked so good! I bought a gown in a size 20! I used to be a size 36!
I created this blog to:
- support me in losing the 23 lbs i just gained on a 2 week high salt/high fat gourmet raw binge! I will be FEASTING on raw juices, eating watermelon, raw fruit, veggies and greens with no salt/fat until i weigh 254 again!
I also created this blog to:
- help me to continue to lose weight thereafter, steadily and slowly on a low fat, low salt raw vegan 80-10-10 diet, but learn to include raw gourmet treats, on occasion, in moderation. Can i do that? It IS my goal.
- focus on Christopher Fairburn's book "Overcoming Binge Eating" as a support to improve my eating habits and becoming more 'in tune' with my body: planning meals, getting on an eating routine, writing down my food, weighing weekly, eating slowly, savoring food, eating until satisfied, ultimately learning to eat only when physically hungry and maintaining control
- completely stop emotional, out of control binge eating on raw gourmet foods and stop the mental obsession of these foods. Learn how to savor, be in touch...and not be a glutton with these foods! Learn to experience pleasure...without it inevitably leading to PAIN!
- help me maintain a regular exercise plan, walking or swimming daily
- create lasting change and maintain this new balanced way of eating raw, stopping the cycle of embarrassing weight yo-yoing (short spurts of success with 80-10-10 and weight loss, followed by binge eating on gourmet raw and devastating weight gain).
- help me understand my emotional/mental states and how they contribute to my struggles with food.
- help me work new ways of coping with the stresses of life without turning to gourmet raw food
- get me back in touch with my intense creative drives! It's time to stop thinking about food, to stop compulsively seeking out and eating gourmet raw food in an out of control manner, but to start singing and performing more, start cleaning, organizing and renovating my house, and finishing projects such as my handmade pocketbooks!
Being overweight and having issues with food is obviously a very, very complex problem. Being overweight is not only a genetic battle - having a predisposition to weight gain, it is the result of a highly complex assortment of issues and behaviors in the emotional, spiritual, mental and physical realms.
Switching to a raw vegan diet has helped me enormously in overcoming my obsession with cooked food....but i'm STILL an emotional eater. Emotional eating can be a response to stress, to uncomfortable emotions, a way to deflect the 'real issues', and with me, emotional eating takes on a life of it's own, it takes on an addictive quality. It starts, spirals out of control, and i cannot stop. Discovering I gained 23 lbs woke me up.
Victoria Boutenko notes that meat produces the same sensations in us as opium. Well, i know THAT from PLENTY of experience! I also know that salt and fatty foods do something HUGE for me...they stimulate me and excite me unbelievably!!!! I am just a FOODY! And I need to learn to control that response...and to control my exposure to those stimulants. When i am on 80-10-10, i am perfectly in control. Fruit and Veggies are not stimulating. Nuts and olive oil and nama shoyu are. Yet, can i live a life DEVOID of these raw gourmet goodies? I don't WANT to.
I WANT to be able to go to OASIS or ALL THE WAY LIVE or THE RAINBOW GARDEN or eat a raw burger at ARNOLDS WAY...and learn to enjoy it, savor it, and not let it spiral me out of control.
According to Christopher Fairburn of "Overcoming Binge Eating," emotional/out of control binge eating can also be the result of strict 'dieting'. Is 80-10-10 just TOO strict for me...that i 'break free' of it and go hogwild on gourmet raw when i do?
Mental 'programming' will also be an extremely large focus in this blog. When i learned about the "Secret", it literally rocked my world. Little things i wanted....i magically received...so long as i 'worked' the 'Secret', kept that positive attitude and focused NOT on what WAS, but on WHAT I WANTED. These days, I spend so much time lamenting what IS, feeling sorry for myself....that what i WANT never manifests itself. Instead, things have been getting worse and worse out of control, in my messy home and my growing waistline. It's time to get back to working the 'Secret'!Of course, in helping myself, i pray to help OTHERS, just by sharing my story, my successes and my challenges. I KNOW and TRUST that i was not given these HEALING OPPORTUNITIES if there were no way OUT of them and no way to use them to inspire and assist others who are still suffering. Believe me, when i find the way to PURE RAW JOY, when i find that balance i so desire eating low fat raw foods AND decadent blissful gourmet fare in control on occassion, when my weight is low and my mind is stimulated from art, music, creative endeavors, friendships, travel, LIFE and LOVE....and NOT simply from FOOD, there will be no stopping me from shouting it on the rooftops!
Thank you for joining me on this journey and i really hope to hear from you!
xoxo michelle
LaSoprana@aol.com
4 comments:
I am so excited that you've started a blog to share your raw food journey! You have already helped so many people, this blog will only add to the positive changes you are manifesting in yourself and others. Keep up the yummy recipes and raw creations!
Hi Michelle!
I'm so glad you are blogging! Now I can follow along and be inspired! Yay!
Dear Michelle,
Your pure honesty is such a touching inspiration! You and I have never met. I have read about you in Arnold's e-mail updates. What do I want to say? Hmmm. . .so many thoughts. . .words. You see, I too suffer from food addiction. I have had bulimia since I was eleven, probably longer, I have always believed I was born a food addict. Today, I am a 35 year old woman sinking in emotional eating. Since this past November, have been transitioning to a raw food lifestyle. On raw days I can go binge-purge free, however non raw days always end up down the tolit! I too, notice even on raw days, certain raw foods set off my triggers. . .I should say deactivate my body's natural ability to know what is full and satisfied. I thought if I was raw I would no longer struggle with binging, and in my case purging. I have been feeling like a raw failure and giving into cooked food. I need to stop feeing sorry for myself! I need to honest with my hearts song. . .and give up cooked foods once and for all! I need to identify my emtional triggers and take control of the life I am misssing. You have awakened the fight inside of my soul! I am not a raw failure. I am an emotional eater, a food junky. . .but a kicking one! I feel alot less alone today. Your blog is a gift to me. Your honesty. Your ability to be vulnerable. Your beautiful, Michelle Joy! Emotional eating is something others battle every day. You have shown me even a raw foody can battle this sometimes embarressing, guilt ridden, shameful cycle. . .yet you have demonstrated such courage and strength facing emotional eating head on! I cannot say thank you enough! Forgive me for rambling. . .so many thoughts. . .so many words. . .you give me hope with your grace. . .thank you! I look forward to following and supporting you on your journey to "PURE RAW JOY"
Sincerely,
Shawna
Good luck on your new journey! 80 10 10 is the way to go!
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