BLOG GOAL SUCCESS!

Beginning Raw Vegan Weight: 425

Beginning Blog Weight: 277

Weight Yesterday: 255

Weight Today: 253.5

Today’s Loss: -1.5

Total Blog Loss: 23.5 lbs in 2 weeks and 5 days! I met my goal!! YAY!!!

NEW GOAL: 249 - only 4.5 lbs away!!

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Ah, sweet success! Some cute happy pictures that express joy on such a joyous day! (Cliff took these last summer in the Allentown, PA park we love. I was about 40 lbs heavier than today.)

I met my goal and even sailed past it! 23.5 pounds lost! It only took a hell of a lot of work, walking my ass off, an emotional rollercoaster ride of discouragement, frustration and lots of joy, tons of self-deprivation of fat and salt and bananas to undo the damage i did in 2 weeks...in almost 3 weeks, but i finally made it! YAY!

Whew, please remind me to NEVER DO THAT TO MYSELF AGAIN! From now on, i'm looking forward, i'm staying on the straight and narrow. I'm going to keep up the routine i've been doing until i meet my next goal of 249!

MORE DISCUSSION OF CONTROLLING FAT ON 80-10-10
My off-blog discussions about FAT with Pat Umble, a long term raw foodist and 80-10-10er have really been so tremendously supportive. Pat is a normal weight person, yet SHE too struggles with the fat. Let's hear from Pat:

"Hi Michelle,

How are you feeling with adding a little fat back into your diet? I love tahini blended with orange juice as a dressing, I am sure it would be good with lemon juice also. Do you find that having a little bit of fat makes you want more fat or are you happy with a small amount? I try to be happy with a small amount, but I don't always succeed. It is definitely not the easy road to travel, but I do know that my body feels much better on low fat and I have tons more energy. If I pig out on fat then my body feels tired and lethargic. But I also have to say that that damn fat is so good tasting!! I wish it would taste like crap so it would be easier to give up!"

Yes, Pat, eating a little more fat has been challenging. When i eat a little, i DO want more. It is definitely a battle of mind over matter, but i'm glad to be doing it. Having given up massive banana intake, i cut that down drastically from 10 a day to 1/2 or 1 a day, i need SOMETHING, some sort of fat, otherwise i am STARVING.

Nevertheless, controlling the fat IS challenging. The first day i added fat in, i had 1 tsp of raw tahini mixed up in a oil free/salt free dressing. Not bad. The second day, the tsp had grown to heaping, and later i ate an entire avocado. The third day, the tsp had morphed into a Tbsp and after my salad, all i wanted was ANOTHER ONE! But, i ate some watermelon and seemed to be sated for the meantime.

Yes, if a little bit makes us want more, then eating more, as in a gourmet raw meal, would CERTAINLY make ME want even more.

MORE DISCUSSION IF ADDING GOURMET IN IS WISE
In trying to decide if it's actually POSSIBLE to add back a 'gourmet raw treat meal' here and there, something tells me to PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Perhaps it is NOT in my best interest to think i can 'have a raw gourmet treat meal' and that it will STOP THERE. In my RECENT history, it has NEVER stopped with one meal.

It USED to when i was back at the raw retreat. But, i don't think i knew any better then. I just thought anything RAW was LEGAL and felt GREAT about eating ANYTHING! God, i wish for those days back!!!!

Now, I KNOW what EXCESSIVE FAT and SALT do to me, they stimulate me so much, that i have TOO OFTEN gone off on a bender. I have been completely EXCESSIVE, so it's been almost impossible sometimes to PULL BACK and just be CONTROLLED. But, that ultimately that IS my goal. I think. Yeah. God, that would be AMAZING.

CAN I GET TO THE PLACE WHERE I USED TO BE where i can eat a raw gourmet meal...and be done with it...and get right back on 80-10-10?

It would be SO nice!

Well, it would be a CHALLENGE. When i eat my salads now with the little bit of fat, i always have an internal struggle afterwards wanting more and feeling strangely deprived afterwards that i 'can't' or choose not to have anymore.

I've made my weight loss and gaining CONTROL now the priority....and not my 'tongue' anymore. I'm gaining in MOUTH MATURITY!!!

I know I would gain from the gourmet treat.

But, i'm sure i would lose it again, as i did lose the extra weight plus more that i gained from the avocado. So there.

DOES EATING EXTRA FAT OR A GOURMET MEAL SHOCK THE METABOLISM INTO EVEN LOSING MORE?????????
Wait a second. Perhaps eating the avocado HELPED me in losing more. ?????

This is something i haven't contemplated in a long time. Can a fatty meal ultimately HELP the body to shed pounds?

I HAVE heard that the body likes a CHANGE every once in a while and that it gets in ruts. Perhaps a little EXTRA fat now and again shocks the metabolism into action?????????!!!! Wouldn't THAT be exciting?

You see, at the retreat where i was for 8 months, I used to play a little game like that with myself. I had a routine i got on where i would indulge and then cut back for several days. It really seemed to work. I had forgotten about that!

What happened was, I joined Weight Watchers, while in Lemon Grove, CA, so i could get that weight card logging my weekly weights. i didn't follow the Weight Watchers plan. I just joined strictly to be weighed. So, i distinctly remember the exact weekly losses.

How i would manage my gourmet meals was this: I would eat gourmet for 1-3 meals that week, maybe even more, i can't remember, but then for 3 DAYS BEFORE MY WEIGH IN, I RETURNED TO LOW FAT/SALT FREE eating. When i got weighed at Weight Watchers, i lost 3.5 pounds consistently every week.

I was also walking my ass off.

It was such a fine balance of low fat eating AND gourmet decadence. GOD i wish i could get back to a place of doing that AND be in control.


MY HUGE CHALLENGE CONTROLLING FAT/SALT WORKING IN A RAW KITCHEN
The problem is: i work at Arnolds Way and being in a raw kitchen where unlimited RAW BREAD is right there to grab and nut pate's are so easily within reach and raw burgers are easily grabbed and gobbled...

When i EAT the Fat, i crave the fat.

I have never been able to control myself at Arnolds Way UNLESS I AM DOING 80-10-10 strictly!

So, if i WERE to add back gourmet treats, it would take a LOT OF SELF CONTROL and a FIRM PLAN of 80-10-10 ONLY at work only to succeed.

LOOKING AHEAD/FUTURE PLANS
But that is SOOOO premature. At least 4.5 more pounds to lose 80-10-10ing. And then i'd like to get down to 240 before i contemplate adding back a restaurant meal. Man, will THAT be something!!!

FOOD
Worked today at Arnolds Way...didn't touch or TASTE a THING unless it was on my program!

BR: Humongous Green Smoothie: whole bag org. spinach, no banana, peaches, mangos, pineapple, no dates

SN: Chopped Mushroom Salad: S blade cuisinarted: mushrooms, red peppers, red onion, zucchini, celery, carrot. YUM. no salt. no fat.

LN: Zucchini Spaghetti with Tomato sauce: S bladed cuisinarted sauce: fresh tomato, garlic, red pepper, basil, marjoram, lemon juice. 1 Tbsp nutritional yeast. no salt. no other fat

SN: Humongous Fruit Smoothie: peaches, mango, pineapple, raspberries. no dates, no banana

DN: 2 pink grapefruits cut up

SN: 1/4 medium watermelon

No bananas today and no cashew butter/tahini, just a little nutritional yeast. Not so hungry. Never did walk today, got a late start and had to get to work early. Never went to yoga. No guilt actually - very tired, achy today. That was a HARD walk yesterday.

Sleep well!
xoxo michelle joy