ATTACKED AT THE KNEES

WHAT I ATE TODAY

BR: steel cut oatmeal, 1 nectarine, 1 peach, blueberries 

SN: 1 vegan yogurt, 130 cals 

SN: some tastes of raw mock toona 

LN: guacamole and raw corn crackers 

DN: 2 homemade veggie burgers, lettuce, tomato, raw brazil nut pate', raw ranch dressing

Binge free for 11th day, yay, but today was not without significant challenges.

I was bored today and boredom is one of the biggest challenges to overcome and to not eat when one is a binge eater.  I saw it and said, "I am so bored, all I want to do is compulsively eat!"  I don't know how I managed to walk away from it relatively unscathed.

Cliff wanted to take me to work today.  So picking me up avoided any possibility of an after-work binge, that I might have succumbed to had I driven myself.  God must be cradling me in his arms to have arranged that.    

The truth was the boredom was mixed with a seriously healthy does of fear.  I am injured and experiencing significant physical distress.  The feeling I was holding water in my legs?....was not water. It is a tendonitis of sorts, exactly what I went through at Dr. Arcillas.  I have apparently overtaxed ligaments or tendons in my knees again.



But how? Starting a walking program again?  Stopping my heavy duty workouts with my trainer because I ran out of money and had to get my car fixed?  Being on my feet too long at work?  Showing a friend that funny walk Dr. Arcilla taught me that seemed to hurt my knees before?

I think all of the above have played a role in my present incapacitated predicament.

My first thougtht was to feel terribly sorry for myself and blame the Enemy, in Judeo Christian terms, Satan, and to ask why he is attacking me, (literally) "cutting me off at the knees," when I am finally doing better?

Struggling to get around, I had to ask God for help several times today to get through the day without leaning on food.

My second thought was that I am experiencing a detox, and that whatever toxins I'm releasing, are pooling in my knees (?). Is that irrational?  I may be only 50% raw, maybe less, on some days.  Dr. Arcilla seemed to think the tendonitis before was caused exclusively by detox and had nothing to do with injury or weakness or the funny walk he taught me.    

All I know is, I can barely walk and my legs want to buckle.  My knees feel like the tightest rubber bands, I am limping, and in pain.

Furthermore, I have been experiencing alot of all over body stiffness lately, come to think of it, and maybe that is from acids detoxing?  Could my diet be MORE ACIDIC NOW than it was BEFORE?  Too much fruit and grains?  

I don't know what's going on.

Tonight I am going to take Dr. Morse's HEAL ALL TEA, that my wonderful friend, Joy, sent to me.  I will mix that with the Chinese pooping tea Dr. Arcilla prescribed.  Maybe all of that will help clear whatever is inflaming me.

Unfortunately, I have to be on feet all day again tomorrow...

xoxo michelle joy